#siscest

Hggggghhh,,,~

Your sister, Autumn, has been making a lot of awful decisions. You have been left in her apartment alone just desperately attempting to pick up the pieces for weeks.

It's been weeks since you've last seen Autumn, she grabbed most of her things and left an infuriating little note after cutting at you just a bit deeper. Many many parts of you hate her. Maybe it was naive to believe a long lost sibling could help you fix all of your woes, but you're still bitter. The worst part is you still miss her, you still mourn her. God above you still mourn her. You broke more than a little when she left so suddenly, not a word as to why. A chipped piece of dinnerware left solemnly unused. You thought you hurt her, and wracked your brain over and over again as to how. She told you not to contact her and you left it there, for years. There was still a deep Autumn shaped pit left in your soul. A sibling you no longer had. Your parents rarely talked about her, neither did anyone at your highschool. It's like she barely existed in the first place, not a single shadow left outlining her form. You couldn't tell her how much she meant to you. Sure you were pretty popular, but even to you, so many of your relationships felt superficial and shallow. Other people hanging on to your coattails to cling on to some social standing you honestly never found important. After all, you lucked in to it, you had rich parents, and dated the most popular girl in school for a while. But Autumn always felt more real. She used to take you on long detours on your walks back home. Your parents always hated when you'd show up several hours late, but she loved to show you her favorite spots. Usually places she'd go hide to ditch school to drink the alcohol she stole. You'd talk about board games, shitty movies, your dreams to be a vet, just nothing really, things your so-called friends didn't care about. Your parents abhorred how often it happened, usually Autumn got the blame. You'd nip back and take her to your room to play some music and chill. Home was at least a place you could moreso be yourself, you could write tabletop games, you could spend hours looking at cute animal vids without your peers calling you a fag, you could look up makeup you wanted to try with the half-baked excuse of it being for your girlfriend. Your parents likely always knew what was up with you. But your status in school brought you a shield at home. As long as you kept up your grades and had some girl to put your arm around, they didn't care. They just imposed it on Autumn instead. You tried, you really tried to protect her from them. You still have guilt about it not being enough. But even in spite of the envy she sometimes spat your way, you just wanted to be near her, playing a video game you really didn't enjoy for her, doing her chores when she was too depressed to, and something changed when she started sharing her room. You couldn't help it, and you told yourself it was just you projecting your wants and identity onto her. You were attracted to your older (former) brother. It just had to be that at the time Autumn was safe for you, that you were getting something other boys would not give. You told yourself so many nights spent quietly sobbing into your pillow that it would pass, it would just take time but it would pass. You'd keep dating your girlfriend or maybe dump her and find a sweet boy, maybe someone nerdy, an animal lover, a little less sporty than your parents wanted from any girlfriend of yours. It stayed for a long time. Every single night you spent with Autumn, watching her horror movies you weren't quite brave enough to stomach, sitting on your bed next to her talking about stupid nonsense at school desperately wishing to just get a little bit closer, and every little walk to her drinking spot where she'd offer some of her alcohol to have you politely decline whilst you sat in a forgotten stretch of the woods in comfortable silence with her. It all just made you want her more. You shoved it down, as best you could. You focused on school, kept getting those good grades, kept dating your girlfriend, even slept around with a few boys.

Chapter 1: Typical