#chapter breakdown

"Is Danny immortal?" Wellllll yes but no but yes. Danny can still be killed, don't get me wrong, but he's going to be aging at a slower rate. This is brought up in C3 during Danny's talk with his Ghostly Therapy support group - and something that will be brought up again. Accepting the fact that Danny, who has strong ties to the Human and Ghost worlds, will outlive at least one side of himself is something he struggles with. This is a large part of the "coming of age" story arc.

"Jason and Dick have such a great relationship, but he seems to have some issues with the rest of the Batfam, what gives?" Well! When I was growing up I was able to read some of the original Batman and Detective comics - meaning my first impression of Jason was that he was a redheaded circus boy. In those comics Dick was actually able to pass down the Robin mantle himself, Bruce was emotionally competent, and the three of them had a great relationship. With that in mind, I love to see Dick and Jason actually be brothers. They're my favorite duo AND they have a great parallel to Danny. Pulling from the "greatest failure and greatest success" vibes from Danny's thoughts on his parents plus the portal, if you compare that to Robin #1 and #2, you have Bruce's greatest success (Dick, who is a strong leader, good sibling, and manages to VERY RARELY act out in mindless anger) and compare that to his greatest failure (Jason, who he wasn't able to save, who he thought killed a man, who died only to come back so much differently) it draws a wonderful parallel of life and death. In like a vague way. But! Jason needs someone in his corner and Dick is that man. Because we're going old school, baby!

"Jason's POV was very short this chapter" Yup, it was. The main point of Jason's POV was to show that he was okay after being all loopy and that his relationship with Dick's is different than what is the current DC canon. I did this over Thai food and dragon movies for uh... totally no reason. Whatsoever. No foreshadowing and plot thickening here. Just... happy dragons, happy boys, and comfort food :)

"What's up with Danny's outfit change?" Legit I just gave him the kingly outfit for plot reasons. It'll be important later on - trust me - but for now accept that he's a cute little starboy. I have some concept pictures in regards to why I chose what I did, but unfortunately it's kind of spoiler-y :(

"Wow! The Ghost Zone is really changing!" It is!! Many people pointed out in C1 how Danny's coronation carried weight to it, how you all could tell it was important. And it was, and the GZ changing is just showing more of that weight. I've pretty much spent the past three chapters laying together the groundwork and foreshadowing to just what being the Ghost King means to Danny. Part of that is healing the GZ and making it better for his people. The Keep changing (and wow I love being able to name-drop myself in my fics) is only a small part of the reconstruction the GZ is going under. It's great and I'm super excited!!

"Why did you mention the tapestries?" WELL, if you follow me on this hellsite you might remember a post I made a while ago about spending hours creating a political atmosphere for the GZ! The tapestry is hinting at the politics behind the dead, important plot points in the future, and why the Realm is changing. I want you guys to be able to keep reading this fic and have an "oh!" moment where you put the pieces together.

"Oh my god Danny's rich" - said by Faust/Aerois, my lovely beta. Yes, Danny is rich. In my opinion there's already enough fics out there where Danny has to survive on the streets which is something I'm not really looking to do on here. It's also a plotpoint! Keep in mind that Danny's got that great amount of wealth :)

"I love the line Goin' Gotham" SAME THO! It's also me being sneaky and referencing the collection "Going Gotham" on AO3, which is full of DPxDC fics that I love. Also Danny is a dork and he would totally say that because he is a dumb little babyman and I love him.

“Mr.Grayson details in paragraph four, line ten, ‘I leave a USB drive to Bruce Wayne, Damian al Ghul Wayne, Timothy Drake Wayne, Jason Todd Wayne, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Wayne, and Duke Thomas.’ Mr.Grayson further specifies that all who were listed must be present in order to open the drive.”

So, starting from the very first line, I wanted to establish that this is an AU where everyone more or less gets along much better here than in canon. I hoped to make this evident by the fact that many of the listed names have “Wayne” in them (I excluded Stephanie and Duke because, although part of the family, they still very much have their own living families to turn to [Duke has his cousin, and thereby, other extended family]). There are still the usual tensions, the usual aggravators, but mostly, they get along like a family that sees each other once a year: a little awkwardly. I also want to point out that last sentence: “all who were listed must be present”. Alfred wasn’t included mainly because he was going to have a dedicated chapter for him, but also to hint at the fact that this Will served as a double purpose. Yes, Dick’s listing out all of his belongings and last wishes, but he’s also a combination of Nightwing and Dick Grayson in the recording. This is a Will meant for the Wayne family members and Gotham’s protectors. I’ve sprinkled itty bitty references throughout the entire chapter to hint at why Dick would mix his two identities like that, something all of them strive to keep separate when they can. “All who were listed must be present.”  Dick has given them this Will because he is trying to present a problem to them and the only way they can solve it is by working together. The problem can be many things, I’ve left that to reader interpretation for now, but Dick points out one of the problems he knows his family will be facing blatantly: grief, and how they choose to deal with it. Largely, “a storge for you” is about grief and overcoming it, as this is a theme throughout. Both in William Cobb’s and Alton Carver’s stories show how they overcome their grief, in whatever ways they can. It’s also one of the reasons why it’s taken nearly 80k words to get over that kind of grief, especially coming from so many different directions and people. That being said, none of them are over it. Not by a long shot. Which is why the presence of them all while watching the Will is so important; none of them can do this alone, and the imminent problem Dick is trying to tell them about cannot be faced alone. 

“Originally, I never wanted to make another video like this. I was banking on the hope that I would go out somewhat heroically.“

I’ll get more into this tone in later chapters with Dick’s POV, but throughout the Will, Dick repeatedly puts himself down. When Dick makes this, he is at his lowest. Think Blockbuster and Tarantula lowest. Self deprecation is not something you will ever see Dick doing, at least not out loud and in front of others. And yet, he does this several times in his video, knowing his family will see it and see him like this.  When he is making this, Dick loses his filter almost completely. He files away the worst of what he’s going through, but the thoughts of his self-worth spill out of him easily and without a second thought, only shielding the true intent of his words with humor- “I always thought that if I didn’t and ended up slipping in the shower or something, well, just make sure it’s not marked on the headstone.”

“The USB you’re watching this on contains all the information I’ve gathered over the years; case files, new and old villains, up and coming crime lords and drug factions, locations, trackers, cults, assassins, and even some rising heroes.”

So, it’s canon that Tim has a similar file like the one Dick just described. Bruce also does too, but that’s almost expected of him. However, the fact that Dick has files upon files of everyone he knows, villain and heroes alike, demonstrates how out of it he’s been. Of course, Dick Grayson canonically has always been paranoid and brimming with back up plans for his back-up plans. He takes his friendships and relationships very seriously though, and having this much information for anyone to do with as they wish is a serious violation of trust and loyalty on his part. The fact that it’s seemingly so out of character for him to do this isn’t noticed by anyone in the family, as they’re all too overwhelmed with their grief and the fresh wave of curiosity at this new found “Evidence” given to them. Dick is aware that this kind of behavior and obsessiveness is unusual for him, so by stating it and giving it over to his family so directly, it is with the hope that they’ll notice something is off and maybe give his information a second look. However, Dick almost backpedals with that kind of information when he states: “I’m hoping it’s useful. I know we have similar files, Red Robin has back-ups for the back-ups I'm sure, but I hope it helps at least a little bit.” Whatever he’s trying to tell his family scares Dick enough to make his subtle hints even harder to get at, pushing attention away from the abnormality of his behavior onto the fact that it’s a shared trait. Makes you wonder what kind of information Dick really does have on that USB, right?

“Maybe if it were any other video, any other reason, Batman would make a comment about the danger of being home in uniform. Of allowing oneself to be so exposed. 

He stays silent though.”

There are several instances of this kind of depersonalization throughout this chapter. By having Bruce be referred to as “Batman” instead of his actual name, this removes the fact that this is a father watching his dead son’s video Will. By having Batman watch Nightwing’s video, it makes it so it is a work associate watching his deceased work associate’s video. The bond is completely dematerialized between them, and this is something Bruce does frequently. By removing his grief, his own personal connection to the video, it makes it so that he can be focused and defend himself from the onslaught of emotional compromise. Bruce literally removes himself mentally from the devastation that is reliving the pain of his dead son (as the trauma from that in the later chapters is lasting)

“Like I’ve been dead for a long time. A walking corpse.”

Dick, yet again, hinting at the true purpose of this Will. The phrasing is off and graphic. Walking corpse? Why would he describe himself as that? Damian even physically reacts to the harshness of Dick’s words, taken aback by them. And, like his father, Damian distances himself from the fact that he’s watching the video of a man he (in this AU) looked up to as a “dad figure”, more than just a simple brother, by referring to himself as Robin-  “Robin is older now, all of them are. They’ve aged and grown up, shedding past childhood hopes and dreams and fully embracing reality for what it is and not what they want.” He tries to comfort himself with the idea that he’s grown up and used to this kind of devastation, but his depersonalization immediately contradicts it.

“I have a week before it finally runs out.”

There is a difference in suspecting and having it confirmed. Hearing it come straight out of the person’s mouth.

“I was told a couple months ago.”

This is probably the one of the biggest hints Dick could possibly give to his family without giving away anything directly. It’s a very dramatic statement for him to make, to acknowledge that he knows exactly how much time he has left. But how does he know that? Sure, doctor’s can make estimates on people’s lifespans once they determine the rate of deteriation in a person’s body. But Dick say “a week”. He didn’t say “about a week,” Dick said “a week”. And then, again, Dick gives away huge signs that there’s more to it than he’s letting on: “It was extremely aggressive and overwhelming . Please, god, please believe me when I say that I looked into every possible treatment, compromise, cure, antidote.”   If you’ll notice some key words, Dick says “It”. The family assumes he means his cancer, but then why didn’t Dick just say that directly? It could be another case of depersonalization, but Dick has known about his condition for awhile now and has accepted it. He’s made multiple videos detailing his Will because he’s accepted the cancer. But he doesn’t say cancer. Dick says “It”. Another word to notice is “compromise”. Compromise? That’s an out of place word with the rest of the words Dick uses. How can you compromise with cancer? How can one compromise with their body and diseases? You don’t. You can’t. So Dick says “It”. He doesn’t say cancer and he says he looked for a compromise. Why?

It’d been two weeks since the funeral. Closed coffin by preference. Small attendance with half the intended guests already dead.

So, in this universe, a lot of Dick’s friends have kicked the bucket. Not the most delicate way to put it, I know haha, but I also hinted at it at the end of Chapter 3. Donna is dead and Wally is also dead. Sorry guys :(.  There isn’t any true reason why I’ve decided to keep them both “dead” in this AU other than to just enhance how isolated Dick felt in his final months. He was going through so much and although he could’ve reached out, Dick is also an incredibly self-aware person. He knows exactly what would happen if he told anyone in his family what was going on in his life and what was going on with him (which is why he went to Duke and Stephanie for when he absolutely needed comfort; they are part of his family and he thinks of them like siblings, but Dick also knows that they can handle seeing him hurt. They won’t freeze up and freak out if he tells them that he’s not as invulnerable as the rest of his family perceives him). Dick needed someone to talk to that wasn’t in direct relation with him, but anyone he could have gone to/would have wanted to go to is already dead. (Kory would have been another choice, but I wasn’t sure how to integrate her character. So, I’ve just decided that she’s off-world and has been for a few years).

Jason knows he’ll eventually go back. He has to, out of obligation to his family and for himself. Because despite all his feelings towards him, he’d still been his brother. A damn good one at that. Even after all the shit they’d been put through, Dick still deserved a chance to be heard.

Again, I wanted to establish the fact that this universe’s batfam care a lot more about each other than shown in canon. I especially wanted to communicate that Jason loves his family a lot even though he’s more a distant figure. Jason, in this AU, has “bonded” with Dick in the way that normal brothers do. In fact, Jason strongly looks up to Dick, as was further indicated when Jason thinks about Dick being the one on his shoulder telling him the right thing to do when the time comes. Generally, the entire family looks up to Dick and sees him as the ultimate “good” in their entourage. Which is why Dick never reached out to anyone; what with the weight of being the “good” one, the “best” one, the “most stable” one in the family, Dick felt like he had an obligation to remain that way even if he wasn’t any of those things in the first place. If he was struggling, Dick knew his entire family would also struggle. 

No one ever leaves voicemails. They call a thousand times, spam text a million things, but they never leave a voicemail. 

This was more an innocuous detail than anything else, but I am a firm believer that the batfam doesn’t leave voicemails for each other. For one, if they’re calling someone, it’s clearly urgent of the utmost importance at that moment. So, if someone doesn’t pick up the phone when they call, it doesn’t matter anymore why they called because the problem is already most likely dealt with by the time the other person calls back. (This plays, again, into the whole self-reliance thing that has been beaten into them over the years, especially for Dick). So, the fact that Damian, of all people, ended up leaving a voicemail indicates just how urgent the situation is. Jason is stubborn but he’s not cruel, and he understands the full weight of someone leaving a voicemail. Dick being dead is a problem for them all, and just like Dick told them, it’s a problem they have to overcome together.

All of them still looked tired and dirty. Worn out. Beaten.

Words like “beaten” or “given up” are repeated several times throughout the chapter. The entire family feels like they’ve lost, and losing is a big deal in their world. Losing means possibly dying in their world; loss is something they can’t afford to have, and yet, they’ve lost. They’ve lost Dick, and it was a battle they weren’t even aware about. This kind of suddenness is something that doesn’t set in until they watch the video, too shocked previously to really absorb the fact that Dick was gone and wouldn’t be returning. That Dick was dead and they couldn’t do a thing to stop it. The family lost, they were beaten, and they were entirely helpless to do anything about it. That kind of feeling will never leave them.

Cass greets him silently, taking his hand and rubbing small circles into it.

Canonically, I know Cass and Jason don’t really get along. Cass believes in her set of morals and truths very strongly, and Jason pushes all of them with his own methods. I’ve elected to ignore that kind of disparity for now (I’ve chosen for Jason to use rubber bullets, but sticks to mainly his fists in this AU) so that their relationship can be somewhat more amendable. The fact that Cass is comforting Jason isn’t meant to say that they are closer with each other than anyone else; just that they’ve learned to work around their differences and enjoy one another’s company. Again, this is a family much closer than in canon.

Bruce doesn’t even glance at him as his hands fly over the keyboard, pulling up the same video from what feels like a lifetime ago. His hands do stall over the play button though, as if hesitating, and all Jason can think is,

Fuck that.

As we saw later in Chapter 4, Bruce was closest to the entire situation, more so than anyone else at that time. He literally held his son’s lifeless body, and seeing Dick again on screen, alive but still so sickly looking, is like reliving that moment for Bruce. He’s no longer dissociated completely from the fact that his son is dead (as indicated by the name usage) but he still has an immense problem even looking at the face of his eldest, even though it’s been a month. Bruce is a character who clings to the past, so seeing it presented to him with the events that have already taken place is startling and more than a little traumatizing.

“I know this is something that’s going to change a lot of things. I’m not going to pretend like my role in this corporation, family, or whatever it is we call ourselves, isn’t important. My job as Nightwing, a cover story or cover death, or whatever you guys decide to do, is going to mess up a lot of people.”

This part of the video Will is surprising, mainly because it’s interesting that Dick doesn’t have a “cover story” for them already. It’s interesting that he would provoke his family like that by forcing them to create a story about his death and even have them decide what to do with his mantle of Nightwing. Normally, if we were to follow the typical pattern of this kind of trope (i.e someone dies and tells everyone directly what to do with their things; in this instance, Dick telling them who to give away Nightwing to), Dick would have given very specific instructions to save his family from the grief of deciding these things themselves. And Dick isn’t a cruel person, but again, he is aware of exactly what he’s doing. By forcing them to make these decisions themselves, Dick is forcing his family to look closer, to really contemplate what happened, further pushing them to look underneath the bare face of what he’s saying to them. Again, the entire video Will is packed with double meanings and sentences that can/should be read a different way than intended. (I’m not going to explore all of them, just the ones that won’t give away spoilers jdskfks)

It’s a really bad joke, borderline insensitive, but it startles a laugh out of Steph, who is quick to smother it. Her muffled silence triggers a small snort from Tim, his eyes straining as he stares a hole into the floor. They’re both ignored, noises and poorly concealed tears aside, in favor of keeping their eyes glued to the glow of the screen.

Not much to say here except grief does weird things to people. In this AU, Tim and Steph did date for a time, but they’re just really good friends now. Thus, they’re more or less on the same wave length and when Steph laughs, Tim takes comfort in it and joins in despite how inappropriate it is to do so at that time.  Grief sucks.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to apologize enough, but I know that’s not why you’re still watching this. I hate apologies, we all do, but I don’t think I ever get tired of saying them. There’s this rotten little part of me that thinks that if I say it enough times, if the words come out of my mouth more often than not, then the fuck up I did won’t seem as big.”

Double entendreeeee~ Dick is apologizing for making them grieve in this way, but what else is he apologizing for? What ”fuck up” is he referencing here? Food for thought hehe

“I think I loved you all too much,” Dick says, like it’s some sort of confession.

And here, we get to the root of the problem with Dick Grayson and this entire plot line of “a storge for you”. Dick loves his family too much. He loves them to the point of not only dying for them, but not telling them he’s going to. He loves his family too much to the point where he is blinded by his need to ensure their well-being at all times that he forgets that he might also hurt them worse in the long run by his actions. And, some part of Dick is aware of this. Aware of this fatal flaw. It’s why this is a “confession” for him, to admit that he loves them like he does. It borders obsessional and unhealthy, exactly how much of his time, attention, and care he pours into them all. Dick kills himself by not reaching out, thereby, in a way, making it his fault as well as his family’s fault that he died. And Dick is aware of all that. He knows, 100%, where this is all going to lead, and yet he can’t help but keep it all to himself because he doesn’t want to ever burden his family or make them feel anything but his love when he’s giving them attention. At his core, Dick is man who is selfish with his love for others; he will love the ones he cares about no matter how much it hurts them or himself. (and this is why, on a completely unrelated note, why his relationship with Bruce is the way it is; despite the abuse Dick has received from the man, he keeps coming back and forgiving his father)

What would they do then?

What would they do if Dick didn’t love them?

I’ll tell you what, this would be an entirely different story if he didn’t sdkfjdshk

“In the end, this was my decision.”

It is all Cassandra can do but stare in awe at her family as the video continues to play. She sees the way Dick’s shoulders are tense, sees the way his eyes squint just a slightly, how his hands fidget and move towards his jaw as if pained. She sees this all, and yet her family seems blind to it. Blind to the fact that Dick is lying to them.

Someone mentioned in the comments of this chapter that this part, with Cass pointing out how weird it is that Dick is lying to them, felt off and didn’t really flow with the chapter as well as the rest. To which I say: I agree. It was meant to be so, haha! The fact that Cass was able to see that Dick was lying to them about something is meant to both startle Cass and the reader, throwing them off whatever emotion they were going through. However, no one knows what Dick is lying about, which shifts the perspective of the entire video Will into question. What more was Dick lying about? What else is he not saying?

o o o

The rest of the chapter is more touchy-feely than anything else, Dick finally going through the motions of addressing his family rather than just continually hinting at double meanings and such. I thought it would be nice to kind of live Dick Grayson’ s life through the interactions he’s had with others throughout it, and the order in which his family began is a pretty good way to do so.

So this is a reflection of the events on Lotho Minor that happens in chapter 51 and 52 in my fic series, where Zaiya has arrived to find Maul after she recieved his distress signal.

This was what I was sent:

“Left broken, empty and in despair Wanna breathe, can't find air Thought you were sent from up above But you and me, we never had love So much more I have to say Help me find a way”

“And I wonder if you know, how it really feels To be left outside alone, when it's cold out here Well, maybe you should know, just how it feels To be left outside alone To be left outside alone”

And Maul is frustrated, angered cause she tries to comfort him but (for what he knows) she hadn’t been what he went through, she would never understand the pain and suffering of being discarded and forgotten

“I tell you, all my life I've been waiting For you to bring a fairytale my way Been living in a fantasy without meaning It's not okay, I don't feel safe”

And she had promised for a fairytale, to travel the galaxy together and see the stars, be free, but he lived in the fantasy of become a sith lord and rule that very same galaxy but at this point he just think it was all nonesense, it meant nothing to him comparing to the dream of living with her all those adventures, and all the missed chance make him feel so sad and desprate and he doesn’t feel safe because of everything and because of Sidious

I personally love this, the whole idea, the reflection and the vibe of it because it's exactly where I was going with it. This indeed sums it up. But let's dive into it, shall we?

Maul is alone with his madness, jumping at every sound, both wanting his Master to come for him, and terrified that he will. Then she arrives. So long he was dreaming of her, of the promises they made, the adventures they wanted, the fairytale they painted together.

He is filled with regret, with pain, with longing for things to go back to how they were. Wishing he had taken her hand back then in the hangar. Gone with her and walked away from the Sith. Madness eats at him, haunts and hurts -- burns and boils in his blood. So many voices speak to him. That of his Master as he imagines the old man, that of the child he once was, that of his own despair.

He has been there so long he has forgotten so much. Then she returns. She is whole - so he thinks - she came here, she could leave. But is it real? Can he trust this? Is it safe to believe it this time? Or is it just another trick of his mind?

How could she know his pain? She walked into his labyrinth just fine. She is not mad, not tormented - so he thinks. How could she understand? He was not the same as he once was. She will abandon him too. She will fade away.

Then he sees her scar. Her face marred as it was in last memory of her. A reminder of his failure. Of his fear. He sees her eye. He sees how gaunt she is.