#kima talks

Today marks the two year anniversary of my fic, A Prince of Dathomir. Not from when I posted, but from when I began writing.

It's funny, this used to be the anniversary between myself and my abusive partner. Today is the deadline for me to file court papers against him too.

Two years ago I got a silly little idea in my head. I planned out numerous chapters and storylines, and though I didn't have a solid idea for chapter length, formula and how I wanted to write it... I just started.

Two years, 110 chapters and 360 000 words later... here we are. I am in the process of using that momentum of my fic to also write a book alongside this as well as take art commissions and try to create an art shop.

Yet I still feel like I do nothing. Funny how that goes.

But I am grateful to APOD. To everyone who has read this monumental fic. To everyone who has left feedback. Especially to everyone that is still reading it. To those that created fan art! There was even a fanfic ...of my own fic!

I didn't expect it to get the positive response it has but... I'm thrilled. I only hope my secondary story will garner the same love.

Before APOD, I would start a project, a hobby, a story, and I would do it for a while, maybe even a few months... then I would stop. My motivation would dry up and I wouldn't continue.

So far with this story, it has not happened. I'm still going. It's increasingly hard lately, but I am still going. I want to keep going. Even when I get distracted and sad and upset.

Because I can read my own story and be like "Wow, I'm invested!"

That's never happened to me before.

So I guess what I am trying to say is, thank you. This is a special day for me.

Some of you may already know, but I posted a request I received a few weeks ago and since doing so I have learned about the person who made said request.

I learned he asked the exact same request of three others, friends of mine and was overly pushy and manipulative. He accused me of 'tattling' when he discovered I went to one of my friends for advice on writing for the unusual piece. I said nothing inflammatory but he accused me of doing so. When I did not apologise and asked him to point out what I did wrong, he backtracked so quickly.

I had thought that it was nerves, that he wasn't sure if I would judge him for his request. I did not.

What I do mind however is the pushy, manipulating, gaslighting and intimidation he used on my friends to get what he wants. "How far into the story are you?" "When will it be ready?" sending message after message. He does not RB the requests, the only feedback is "I liked it" and that's it. He has harassed my friends for more stories immediately afterwards with no gratitude for the already written fic. I could handle my own interaction, but once I learned how uncomfortable he made THREE other friends of mine, I had to say something.

My advice is, that if you get contacted by a user named @ wisedelusiontiger then ignore it.

I have found that I think very visually, like movies and pictures and then I have to think of the words to describe it. I also, from having done film and TV courses, was taught to "show don't tell". I like this aspect in films and TV. So I have tried to take this stance with my writing.

"How can you show not tell when it's all words?" I hear noone asking. Well, it's all about the delivery.

For example:

"Time to pay up." The bounty hunter said. He hated this man, but he had to be here.

"Half now, half when the job is done." He replied.

Instead of saying he hates him, I would try to say something like:

"Time to pay up." The bounty hunter grunted. His eyes narrowed and his lip curled. The hunters voice was like sandpaper to his ears, the very air around them was repulsive. His skin crawled and the heat that burned in him the moment the hunter opened his putrid mouth... It was an effort not to gut him where he stood. We're it not for the circumstances of the situation, he would not be here.

"Half now, half when the job is done." He snarled, his eyes filled with distaste.

This is just my opinion, and I am not perfect in this practice, but I definitely prefer the latter. It gives a sense of the character, and I believe that identifying with the character, whoever it is, is important. This is the way I am trying to write my stories, I want my readers to feel something.

Anyway that's my 2c. I'd love to know your thoughts or techniques you use.

So I have had a lot of stuff happen for me recently and I have been wanting to put together a list of goals for the future in order to have measurable point of reference. Will it keep me accountable? Who knows.

Living with a disability means that not everything can be achievable. What might look good on paper may be too great an ask if one also has to contend with everyday activities that drain energy rapidly.

That being said, I want to live my life, not just exist. Even in this world of uncertainty and unfairness, i want to make something that might hopefully make at least one person smile. Make one day a little brighter.

I can't really do anything integral to survival. There's no guarantee of a need for what I offer. Especially when it seems to be popular just to type in a prompt and have what you want spat out at you in seconds. But I will try my best regardless.

I have a variety of goals, though they are ongoing and not just a "new year's resolution". I want to do more. Whether I can maintain this, we will see.

I have a link here to my Patreon for a more in-depth look into my goals and my thoughts on this, as well as some of the art I have been working on.

Most of the article is free to read, though I will highlight that my commissions have reopened for the new year and I am offering 20% discount for all commissions and a 40% discount for all Patreon members.

In the future, I will be offering more discounts and even draw suggestions from patreon members - character, place, creature etc. Those will be for members only and if you wish to vote and see the result (maybe I will draw your character!) then head over.

So, that's what I am up to this year, or at least planning to do. Hopefully there will be some progress.

I'm still writing, I'm still drawing, but I hope to share more with you guys more often. I will also be changing up my tumblr page soon, when I have a moment. It will likely be simplified and focus more on art than writing as the feedback for my fics didn't feel worth the effort I was putting in. I will still be updating, but there will be a bit of a change happening there.

Descriptors like fitted dresses or certain dialogue or even the love interest carrying the reader.

None of that applies to me.

So I just imagine a reader character or sometimes one of my own characters.

SPOILERS FOR A PRINCE OF DATHOMIR - CHAPTERS 51 & 52 - SIGNAL BELOW THE CUT

I don't get much in the way of feedback/comments/likes/RBs here so I wanted to know if it's worth still posting it here.

I had to fork out a lot of money for it, but I was tested for autism and according to this very wordy report. I am in fact autistic. This is a massive relief, while I am an adult now, it has not been easy for me growing up. Either people called me weird or stupid and I found making friends very very difficult.