#changeoflife

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Should we tell Gen-Xers our secrets or let them find out the hard way, like we did? Apparently, baby boomers have been keeping a huge secret. Gen-X and Y are claiming that we boomers never forewarned them or talked about menopause or perimenopause and now they’ve been blindsided by the impact of its symptoms. Hah! They’re acting like they’re the first generation to experience that change-of-life…

I was deeply sad for the last two days, I recognised it and let it flow over me knowing it would pass as it always does.

Why is it that it took me my adult life to understand menstruation signs and now it is ending? Menopause, the end of monthly cycles, does this mean every month will be the same?

All of my life it was the nuisance we were told it was, something to be endured, a "curse", an infliction put on women because we're "obviously not loved as much as men" by the higher god, creator, spirit. Our period is a crutch, a handicap to stop us getting anywhere, an infliction, a necessary evil, something to ignore and get on with life and work or even to do it all better in spite of it. 

So wrong, so wrong. That narrative kept us down, all of that we inflicted on ourselves without the aid of men because we hushed up in their presence, didn't mention the dirty words, referred to it as "the time", "monthlys" "women's problems".

"Women's problems", nothing to do with men, move along, ignore us, we're having a moment, the erratic moment, the one you like to blame for any outburst we might have in your presence.  "Hormonal are we?" "Time of the month" is it? No, actually, our rage is just more defined at this time, it is with us always! We just don't put up with your shite when we are menstruating for reasons beyond the knowledge of modern women. Modern women curing all their natural cycles, abilities and powers with chemicals. Hormonal, emotional, irrational women who need to suppress all of this and pretend to be exactly like men in the workforce and beyond because they don't want to 'deal' with it and neither do we.

I'm glad I read "Are you there God, it's me Margaret" as a young girl. My mother laughed when I told her they celebrated the first period with a party. 

"Imagine that!"

"I know, how embarrassing."

"Not a thing to have a party for."

It is, it was, it must have been long ago here too, way back before we suppressed our nature and power to make men feel more. It is as much our fault as theirs, we embraced the patriarchy and enforced it on our daughters too. We ignored the power it gives, the  connection to the earth and moon, the enlightenment we.could be enjoying at every period as our bodies open our senses to everything we cannot see around us. The power of woman is in every little drop of blood we lose and every heightened feeling or awakened moment we have during the passing of it. Instead of recognising this we suppress it in and down, what damage has that done to generation after generation?

We spend our modern lives enduring this "curse" and trying to push through the pains and aches, the sadness, the anger, we try to show the world we are the same as every other day in spite of the raging hormones. Indeed we often 'look forward' to when these days will be gone for good and we can 'relax', 'enjoy' the 'freedom' of not having to 'endure' it. 

We should be riding the waves and recognising what they tell us in these moments of clarity, these moments of grief for all the women who went before us, we should accept the need to stop a while and take things slower, do what out body needs us to do, rest and sleep a little more, silence our mind a little more, go within and embrace our sadness. Instead we try to be as the women on the advertisements for products we should never let near our bodies, products full of chemicals and plastics made to make it "easier" to go and jump in that lake, play that game, climb that mountain, present that conference, be the 'superwoman' who ignores the natural cycle of the moon her body is calling her to. The calling to celebrate and be with nature and the ebbing tides, to have a quiet time to reflect and connect. 

Imagine if the world of women had continued to insist on this and make it a part of working and family life, a quiet, reflection time in the cycle. Imagine how the world would be. Would we even be in this environmental catastrophe and global civil unrest we are living through? 

I carried on the last two days, I had some heightened anger moments and a lot of quiet, sad and even grieving ones and I observed them not really expecting any bleeding because nature was changing me and I haven't had the visits in a few months so I thought it probably was over and that the grief  my body was having this time was not for a 'could have been child' or 'my child within' but for the ending of the cycles, an ending of the knowing and connection to the tides and moon, a severing off from the unknown, very seldom recognised, wisdom that I could have observed and learned so much from if I had only let myself and be let. When the bleeding happened I was surprised but I didn't react the way I have in the past, with annoyance to the disruption in my life. I welcomed it.

I have been visited by heated moments when I wanted to strip my clothes off. It could have been upsetting and I could have decided to pump some hormones into my body to suppress it or to stop the natural change. I decided to just go with it and enjoy the warmth I usually don't feel as it moves from head to toe and back again. I know as little about this cycle as I did about the beginning and middle, I never bothered looking for more information than was given to us about the biological changes and it is only in the last few years I connected to the magic, power and wonder of woman. I know this could go on for years or not because we all have our own ending time just as we have varying beginning times. I've decided to ride the waves and enjoy it.