#changbinxreader

the scrape across his knuckles is shallow but angry, skin split and red. you click your tongue softly and stand without letting go of him.

“stay,” you say, already reaching for the first aid kit.

he does.

you sit close when you clean the cut, closer than necessary, your thumb steadying his hand while the other works. you scold him under your breath, not sharp, more like worried. minho watches your face instead of his injury.

“you don’t have to do this,” he says.

“i know,” you reply. “i want to.”

his fingers curl slowly around yours.

the door opens.

hyunjin freezes halfway inside the room.

you’re kneeling between minho’s knees, holding his hand like it belongs there. minho doesn’t move. doesn’t pull away. just looks at hyunjin and says, calm as anything, “close the door.”

hyunjin’s mouth opens. closes. he leaves.

you finish bandaging him carefully. when you’re done, minho doesn’t let go right away.

“thanks,” he says, quiet.

later, he sits closer to you than usual at dinner. no one comments.

Changbin

changbin pretends he doesn’t need reassurance.

he jokes, laughs, fills the room so no one looks too close. but you see it after practice when he lingers, rolling his shoulders like they still ache, expression tight.

you hand him a towel. then a bottle of water.

“drink,” you say.

he does. immediately.

you pack his post workout snacks into his bag while he talks, not really watching what you’re doing. when you tug his hoodie strings even and pull the hood up around his neck, he pauses.

“you baby me too much,” he says, fond.

“you like it,” you reply.

felix walks in right on cue.

he stops short at the sight of you adjusting changbin’s hoodie, pressing a protein bar into his palm, telling him to stretch later.

changbin flushes red instantly. “okay wait. don’t look at me like that.”

felix grins. “hyung. you’re being babied.”

changbin groans, embarrassed, but he doesn’t move away. doesn’t give anything back.

when felix leaves, changbin leans closer to you.

“you can keep doing that,” he says, softer. “just not when everyone’s watching.”

you smile. “sure.”

he finishes his snack anyway.

Hyunjin

he’s limping slightly when you find him backstage, one ankle wrapped in tape, sitting on the edge of the practice floor. his hands run absently over his hair, over the loose strands sticking out from the clip, but he’s tense—like he’s trying to hide it.

“you’re limping,” you say softly, kneeling down without asking. your hand hovers over his ankle first, careful, and then moves to brush a stray lock behind his ear.

hyunjin freezes. his head tilts toward you, eyes sharp but vulnerable. “i’m fine,” he mutters, but the corner of his lip twitches, betraying him.

you smile gently. “not fine enough to ignore.”

he lets you help him lie back on the mats. your fingers find the knot in his ankle wrap and work slowly, softly, loosening it just enough for him to relax. your other hand brushes against his hair again, smoothing it, and you murmur encouragements like it’s second nature.

“you… you don’t have to fuss over me,” he says quietly, almost ashamed.

“i’m not fussing,” you say, voice warm. “i’m taking care of you. you’ve taken care of everyone else long enough.”

he swallows. his chest rises and falls unevenly. you brush your thumb across the side of his face without thinking, brushing away a speck of sweat, a tiny instinct of comfort.

jisung walks in just as you lean your forehead against his shoulder to steady him.

he freezes. hyunjin freezes. you don’t move.

“i… uh…” jisung stammers.

hyunjin hides his face in your neck, voice muffled. “don’t look.”

jisung backs out, shutting the door softly, muttering, “didn’t see anything.”

when it’s just the two of you, hyunjin’s hands find yours, gripping lightly, holding on. “you’re too close,” he whispers.

“never,” you reply.

later, he leans against you completely on the couch, head on your shoulder, letting you braid the loose strands of hair. he’s quiet but his fingers braid yours into his, squeezing now and then, a silent thank you that doesn’t need words.

the first time he kisses your hand softly, brushing his lips across your knuckles, you realize neither of you wants to let go.

Jisung

he’s tense before practice, pacing the small studio like he’s trying to outrun the nerves building in his chest. you find him leaning against the wall, shoulders tight.

“hey,” you say, stepping closer. “look at me.”

he does. just barely. “i’m fine,” he mutters, but you can see the truth in the way his eyes flinch.

you reach for him, gently tugging him toward you. “no. look at me.”

he hesitates, then finally leans into your touch. you guide him to sit on the floor, back against your legs, and your hands find his shoulders, massaging slow circles.

“breathe with me,” you murmur. “in, out. in, out.”

he swallows, shoulders loosening just enough for his head to fall against your chest. you adjust so you can rub the tense knots along his spine, murmuring encouragements in between soft kisses on the top of his head.

seungmin walks in, eyes widening. “oh—uh…” he freezes, not moving.

han glances up at you, expression a mix of embarrassment and amusement. “did you see that?”

you shake your head, smiling. “he didn’t. it’s okay.”

han laughs quietly, breathless, before leaning back against you again. his arms curl around yours, holding on, not letting go.

later, when practice is over, he threads his fingers through yours. “you… you make me feel like i don’t have to do everything alone,” he says softly.

“because you don’t,” you reply, tilting your head so your lips brush his hairline.

he tilts his head back, eyes closing, and kisses your shoulder gently, a soft promise that he’ll never pull away when you’re like this with him.

he stays in your arms until the room empties completely, and even then, he doesn’t move. he just whispers your name like it’s a secret meant only for you.

Felix

he sits between your knees on the couch, eyes half-lidded, exhausted after practice, and you brush balm over his lips carefully. his lower lip trembles slightly under your fingers, and he lets out a quiet breath, leaning forward without realizing it.

“don’t,” you murmur softly, tracing the line of his jaw with the pad of your thumb. “let it sit.”

his fingers curl around yours, holding on just a little too tightly. “you don’t have to,” he whispers.

“i do,” you reply, tilting his chin up slightly to check his lips. your thumb lingers against the corner of his mouth, brushing lightly, and his head tilts into your palm without thinking.

changbin walks in.

he stops mid-step. his mouth opens, then closes. he doesn’t say anything. he sees the way you lean into felix, the way felix’s eyes close as you brush a stray strand of hair from his face, the way his hand presses lightly against yours.

felix’s eyes flutter open, cheeks flushed. “she… she cares,” he says softly, and you catch the hushed gratitude in his voice.

changbin groans and leaves, muttering about “gross baby stuff,” but felix doesn’t move away from you. he tilts his forehead to rest against yours, breath warm, fingers tightening slightly around your hand.

later, he leans into you on the couch, head on your shoulder, thumb brushing the back of your hand as if memorizing it. every small touch becomes a wordless conversation, an unspoken promise that he’s yours when you take care of him.

he closes his eyes, and you feel his lips press lightly to your shoulder, soft and steady. he murmurs your name almost reverently, and you press a kiss to his temple in return. he doesn’t pull back.

Seungmin

he’s sitting at the table, script in hand, jaw tight, fingers drumming absently. the weight of schedules and expectations sits on his shoulders like armor he can’t take off.

you come up behind him, hands brushing over his tense shoulders, down his back in slow circles. your fingers linger at the base of his neck, tracing tiny patterns as you murmur, “you don’t have to carry all of this alone.”

he exhales sharply, tilting his head back into your chest almost instinctively. your cheek rests lightly against his hairline, lips brushing the crown of his head in a small, reassuring press.

“i… i don’t know how to stop thinking about messing up,” he says quietly, voice muffled against your shirt.

“then stop worrying and let me help,” you reply, thumb brushing along his jawline. “you’re safe with me.”

his hands find yours on the table, fingers entwining. he leans forward slowly, pressing his forehead into your chest. you adjust your arms around him, one hand cradling his head, the other tracing his back. every movement is gentle, deliberate.

jisung walks in quietly and freezes in the doorway. seungmin stiffens for a moment, cheeks flushed, before he leans further into you, forehead pressing against your chest like he belongs there.

“don’t leave,” he whispers, and you press a small kiss to his temple, murmuring, “i’m right here.”

after practice, he sits close on the couch, head against your shoulder, hands holding yours, thumb brushing in small circles. your fingers cradle his jaw, brushing his hair back, and he presses a soft, lingering kiss to your collarbone, murmuring your name as he closes his eyes, trusting you completely.

even when the world is around him, when schedules and expectations return, he carries this closeness with him, a reminder that he doesn’t have to face anything alone.

Jeongin

he’s restless in the corner of the practice room, flipping through the script, voice low and distracted. you crouch down beside him, hand brushing along his forearm, fingers lingering where tension gathers.

“hey,” you whisper, tilting his face gently toward you. “look at me.”

he swallows, eyes softening, leaning into your touch. “i’m fine,” he murmurs, but his shoulder relaxes under your hand before he can stop himself.

you guide him onto the floor, sitting behind him so your chest presses lightly to his back. your arms wrap around his shoulders, tracing slow, soothing circles as you murmur encouragements. his head tilts back, brushing your chest lightly, and he sighs, letting himself melt against your warmth.

hyunjin walks in and freezes. jeongin stiffens but doesn’t move away. instead, he tilts his forehead to the side, brushing it against your shoulder almost shyly.

“don’t move,” you whisper, pressing your cheek to the crown of his head. your hands stroke down his arms, over his back, anchoring him without words. he hums softly, the sound vibrating through his chest, and leans further into your embrace.

later, he shifts slightly, tilting to press a gentle kiss along your collarbone, fingers squeezing your arms lightly, and you respond with soft presses of your lips to his hair and temple. every movement is quiet, intimate, patient, a conversation of trust without needing to speak.

even after the room empties, he rests there, head against your shoulder, hands holding yours, not wanting to let go. the closeness lingers long after, a reminder that it’s safe to lean on someone, and he chooses to lean on you.

Masterlist Taglist

Changbin stared at the text lighting up the screen, and the confusion he felt must have shown on his face, because Chan paused the track that they were working on and turned, facing both him and Jisung, who was in between them.

“What's up, Bin? You kinda disappeared there for a sec…” Changbin looks up to find the elder looking at him with concern, while the younger just looked confused. “Binnie Hyung?” Jisung said, and Changbin sighed as he pressed the lock button on his phone before pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Y/Nie Noona just texted me. She said she can't make it tonight…”

“Aww, but we were supposed to destroy Seungminnie in that new game we bought,” Jisung whines as Chan continues to watch Changbin with a look of concern etched in his features.

“This isn't like her…” Changbin mumbles to himself as he tries to think of what could've possibly happened to make her cancel so suddenly.

45 minutes later, they finish their brainstorming session, and Chan starts shutting everything down as Han continues to yap about how excited he is to try the new board game and how hes going to decimate everyone.

Chan shoots a look at Changbin. “You coming, Bin-ah?” He asks as he slings his bag over his shoulder.

Changbin chews his lip for a moment before shaking his had slowly. “Nah, I think I'm gonna take a raincheck, Channie Hyung,” he replies as he stands, unplugging his own laptop and shoving it into his messenger bag.

“Let us know if you need anything,” he hears Chan say as he walks out of the door to the studio. He gives Chan a salute in acknowledgement and let's the door shut behind him as he makes his way to the elevator.

The drive to her apartment isn't very far, only ten minutes or so, but by the time he gets there, he's so anxious that he can't sit still in his seat. Parking quickly, he gets out and locks the door behind him with a beep before jogging to the entrance and punching in the code she gave him a long time ago.

He takes the elevator up to her floor and punches in the code to her apartment, letting himself in silently.

He's not really sure what he expected to find. Maybe her in the kitchen, making something for dinner. Or her sitting on the couch, watching some new sappy drama that she'd found. Or maybe even the sound of the water running as she showered before bed.

What he didn't expect, however, was the pure silence and utter darkness that met him. She never left her apartment completely dark, always leaving the stove light on in the kitchen at the very least. Needless to say that if Changbin wasn't worried before, he definitely was now.

He quietly closed the door behind him, slipping out of his street shoes and sliding into the house shoes that she keeps for him by the door before he goes looking through the apartment for her.

He checks her office first, but upon finding that empty, he makes his way to her bedroom.

The door is slightly ajar, so just a gentle press with his fingertips is enough to make it swing open quietly enough that when it's fully open, Changbin hears soft sniffling coming from the Noona-shaped lump on the bed.

“Noona?” Changbin says softly, hesitating in the open doorway. He hears her shaky intake of breath. “Binnie?” She says, her voice thick with tears, and the soft, broken sound is enough to spur him forward toward her bed.

He kneels on the floor at the head of the bed and gently pulls the duvet away from her face, which she releases with little resistance. The moment he sees her reddened, tear-streaked cheeks, he feels his heart clench painfully in his chest. He lifts his hand to brush the tears from her lashes, and he watches her face crumple before she buries her face against the pillow, a soft sob shaking her entire body.

Changbin doesn't stop to think before he's climbing into the bed beside her and wrapping her in his arms, letting her cry against his chest.

He murmurs softly against her hair as her hands clench into fists around the fabric of his shirt, her tears soaking straight through onto his skin.

He doesn't know how much time has passed when her body relaxes against his, the sobs dying down into the occasional sniffle as he continues to stroke his hand soothingly up and down her back.

They sit in silence so long that Changbin thinks she's sleeping, so it startles him a little when he hears her soft voice muffled from her cheek being squished against his chest.

“Do you remember when we first met?” She asks quietly, and he immediately nods, thinking back to the day when he was on a short vacation with the other guys, touring a small coastal town in Europe completely incognito when she'd walked straight into him, spilling her freezing coffee all down the front of his shirt.

He remembered thinking that Seungmin was gonna pass out from laughing so hard as she profusely apologized, her face the color of a tomato as she dabbed uselessly at his coffee-soaked shirt.

That was all it took for Changbin to be completely smitten.

“Yes, Noona, I remember,” he replies, his breath warm against her scalp.

“So you remember how I told you that I was coming out of a really bad place, and you were the first little bit of light in the darkness that I'd been in for months?”

Changbin nods against the top of her head as he remembers how she'd told him after they'd been friends for a little while that he had been ‘an angel in the darkest depths of hell’, her words exactly. He still smiled when he thought of her comparison.

She takes a shaky breath before sitting up and pulling away from him, reaching across him to grab her phone from the nightstand. She quickly unlocks it, and he can see her face better with the aid of the screen light, his chest clenching at how utterly heartbroken she looked.

She opens an app before handing him the phone, showing him a few messages that she hadn't replied to.

“My ex texted me this afternoon…” she mumbles by way of explanation as his eyes scan the messages.

He reads the texts once.

Twice.

A third time.

And his blood boils with barely suppressed anger as he looks back at her.

“After I got those, I started to spiral and my mind just completely shut down,” she says softly, staring down at her linked hands in her lap.

He locks her phone and places it back on the nightstand before taking her hands in one of his and stopping her from picking at her cuticles.

“Hey…” he murmurs softly, lifting her chin with his free hand. The hurt swimming behind her eyes makes his heart clench in his chest.

“You are so much more than how he treated you, Noona,” he says gently, wiping an errant tear from her cheek.

She sniffles softly, subconsciously leaning her face into his touch with a shaky breath, the tension melting from her body with his soft gesture.

“Come here,” He says gently, sliding his hand down to her shoulder, pulling her forward so that her face is pressed against his chest again. He shuffles them downward so they're laying down completely, her body curled against his side as he strokes her hair back from her face with his free hand.

“I'm going to text Channie-Hyung and ask for tomorrow off so that I can stay here with you. We can sit in and watch silly dramas and eat way too much junk food until you feel better, and tomorrow night, I'm going to take you out for dinner. Wherever you want, Noona. The sky's the limit,” he says, gesturing upward with his free hand.

She can't help the soft giggle that pulls from the back of her throat, her chest finally loosening for the first time since that afternoon.

They lay there and talk for a while, Changbin telling her about the newest song they're working on, while Y/N tells him about the latest office gossip including an intern, a department manager, and a supply closet with a faulty lock.

They talk until her voice begins to soften with sleep and he feels her body relaxes completely against his as she slips further into her dreams.

He sits still for a few minutes before grabbing her phone from the nightstand and unlocking it. He opens the camera and snaps a quick picture before sending a text to her ex.

flowing so smoothly like a stream, the late night ride was just like that. the occasional flickering of the road lights were not noticeable by you as you drove elsewhere, to wherever your consciousness will be leading you to. even the soft and mellow music playing on the radio is barely audible to you.

you were so focused yet so distracted on the road.

there you were on the road with your red convertible, silently driving at a slower pace than you usually go for. the wind, as if your lover, kisses your bare skin all over. the cold wind does not seem to want to leave you alone, even when the stoplight is the same hue of your car. clingy type much?

the chilly night offered so much comfort for you, like it always does. out of all the feelings a person could feel in their lifetime, this will always be, without a doubt, the feeling you would always choose to wallow in.

the person who is always known to be very jolly and outgoing is actually the most silent and perhaps solemn person you know. so loud yet at the same time so calm; you, that’s you.

which is why the spectacular artist sitting in your passenger seat can never get used to all the times you are not like your usual outgoing self. sometimes, some are even scared when you are not like that. it’s not that you’re letting them sense an impending doom— your pent up anger, they assume— but rather this is just you when you are comfortable with the person you’re with. a bit ironic, isn’t it? but that’s why he liked you among the rest.

raw, genuine— you. it’s always you that he admired. the person whom he met at the nearby restaurant you were working at. the person who chased him under the rain when he left his phone on the table after dining. the person who always, always, always beams him the most beautiful smile he has ever laid his eyes upon. someone who harbored as if the same mindset as his, god, how breathtaking can you be?

“pay me with an autograph maybe?” he remembers this line so vividly as if that nostalgic memory of his had just occurred this morning. sure, it may be a cliché starting point but changbin can never shrug off the laugh you let out after joking lightheartedly. it was as if he encountered such a composition he has been looking for so long, it felt like he had just won the lotto. the tunes of every instruments can never compare to such a melodious laugh he has since yearned to hear once more.

sneaky but obvious, changbin dropped by the restaurant whenever he can, sometimes dragging along with him his friends. whenever he can is equivalent to almost every single day. were you oblivious to it? perhaps, hehe.

changbin is always in for a good time and so are you. events on the same page of the same book, it always feels like a fantasy whenever he is with you. a fever dream that feels like cherry blossoms raining down gloriously on the road. everything beautiful, everything wonderful, changbin associated each and every single thing to you.

loneliness, a horrible, horrible feeling to experience. changbin hated going through such. but even in moments of silence like this, as long as it’s with you, as long as it’s you, not any ounce of loneliness is capable of overwhelming him.

oh, man, he fell hard without him noticing.

at this point, he’s unsure of how he is able to keep his feelings hidden. he would be so loud and open about his matters and thoughts but with you, he just couldn’t express how whipped this man is for you. without him realizing, he has written a couple songs about you which he deliberately hides from his members whenever he feels like he is about to get caught. some have lived their life with the company of a serene melody, some still stationed in a paper, some unfinished.

like he always questions, how were you able to captivate him like this?

tonight, he sensed something wrong. though he still is adjusting with your silence, he knows when it is a comfortable silence.

but tonight wasn’t anything like that. it felt heavy for some reason that even changbin isn’t sure of. he knows that your way of expressing comfortability is through your warm and calm silence however why does it feel off this time? the puzzle just won’t fit as changbin is unsure which is the right piece for this.

two words, a question; he wanted to ask a simple what’s up? but it was buried deep in his throat that it felt uncomfortable— like he wanted to throw it all up for his own comfort. choking on his words, changbin didn’t seem to notice the sudden halt of the car near his studio.

“i’ll drop you off here, bin,” you softly tell him. “i’ll be going somewhere. i hope you don’t mind.”

“uh... no, not at all.” changbin awkwardly replied. he wanted to ask where, however his usual energy is missing and he doesn’t know why. it’s frustrating him already.

that was cut off, though, when you chuckled. “you must be curious where.”

changbin scoffs a little, his body turning to face you better after removing his seatbelt. “yeah, i am, thanks for saving me there. tell me about it.”

you both laughed, with changbin as if recording your laugh in his brain, registering it as the most wonderful melody he has ever heard so he can listen to it over and over again. he’s so smitten for you. it’s adorable.

“i’ll go... somewhere far away.” you grin at him, but it felt wrong. why was there a pause? why are you hesitating? changbin wanted to push away the worry that was starting to build up in his body. it made him uneasy.

“to where exactly?”

you shrug, “don’t know. just anywhere but here.”

“here?” changbin wondered.

“i already know, bin.”

know what? he wanted to ask but he didn’t want to know at the same time.

“that you like me.”

“you’re the best clown i ever met.” changbin spat out unconsciously, perhaps a defense mechanism. it caught you off guard, but not to the point that it offended you. you chortled, smiling at him.

“i am, i am, you’re right.” you removed your seatbelt as well, facing him fully this time with your cheek resting on the seat of your car.

“but bin,” a sad smile he saw on your lips, “we both know i’m not lying.”

this time, it was him who was silent.

“i think... you know my answer already.” you closed your eyes, facing upwards. the bitterness is flowing smoothly like your ride, like a stream.

“...i don’t think i need to know.” changbin does the same as you do. “go to wherever, heal yourself. you know i’ll always be here for you, even when here is not the place you want to go to.”

“i know...” you sigh, still maintaining a sad smile. “i might be a meanie if i say this, but who knows? maybe in the future?”

changbin scoffs lightheartedly, “that i also don’t think i need to hear.”

ironically, this is where the comfortable silence comes in. despite the heavy topic, the serious topic, it just felt comfortable for the two of you even if it was painful. perhaps this is just the calm before the storm— before the both of you start feeling the regret.

“this is annoying.” changbin exclaims lowly, to which you chuckled softly. “it is.”

“i just hope you’ll be happy, that isn’t something you really would find in me. i’m too broken to make someone happy.” you wish bitterly.

“you don’t have to do anything to make me happy, you know?” bin hungs his head, forehead resting on his palm gently. “being around you is already the best, what more can i ask for? you never left me alone.”

“i will now, though.” you face him slowly, a tear rolling down your cheek as you did so.

“don’t wait for me, bin.”

changbin felt all sorts of emotions— all the what if’s and could’ve been’s combined with the frustration and desperation fighting with one another of which will reign among him. he hated it, truly. a part of him wanted to continue hoping, but another part of him wanted to stop, to recognize that this is the end.

though he was happy that you are choosing to prioritize yourself, it felt like you were pushing him away. to push someone away is like leaving them, he didn’t like being left behind. especially by you whom he had confided so comfortably like he never did before.

changbin gently opens the door of the car, dismounting it before closing it gently. he didn’t have any energy to deal with this anymore and he didn’t want to force himself to do that.

“whatever you say,” he tried to smile. “don’t decide for me. i’ll wait for you, even if i stand a chance or not. whether or not i still want you to be mine or if i have moved on from this.”

this took you aback, almost gasping at his response while your tears continue to roll down.

“i’ll wait for you because i like having you around, so don’t decide for me, got that?” though changbin sounded firm, he was attempting to create a lively atmosphere despite all of the feelings lingering around. this doesn’t change the fact that he is serious with all of his proclamations for you.

“now wipe your tears and get going. your time starts now!” he chortles at you before running to the studio.

you couldn’t help but smile at this goofy moment that you will be missing terribly. as much as you wanted to accept him, you just weren’t ready to engage with anyone. there are too much scars adorning your soul that you need to heal. it would be better to say no than to self-sabotage and harm him. and you’re sure that he understands that.

but who knows, right? maybe some other time, some other occasion or whatnot.

betting on it, however, is neither of you’s priority at the moment. you both chose to just continue living your life. he enters the studio while you continue driving.

the chilly yet soothing wind that seemed to have deemed themself as your lover still never left you alone, bathing you in kisses that you wish you could feel from changbin.

how much he yearned for you, you yearned for him just as much. perhaps, it just was not the right time for the both of you.