#chaetophobia

Chaetophobia Project on @kaltblut-magazine

This is going to be on the more serious side, which isn't very common on my blog, but I really felt like sharing my story. It was supposed to be shorter and turned out as... Well, this.

Its really... ehhm.. annoying, when people judge me for disliking body hair, because they think I'm a person who demands women to shave, when in reality I just have really terrible chaetophobia and I dislike body hair on anyone.

On top of that, I also have trichotillomania, which is basically self diagnosed, because only a handful of people know about that in general.

So my problem is not, that I'm a prude or hate anyone for having body hair,

I JUST GET LITTERALLY SICK IF I SEE SOME LONG AND THICK A** HAIR.

This is actually really personal and not even all of my friends know about this, just really close ones and people who I knew back when it started, concerning the trichotillomania.

I know a lot of people who suffer from it mainly pull their scalp, but I also know that everyone is different.

With me, it started out with my eyebrows and eyelashes. I was just beginning puberty and so when all the other body hair started growing I pulled that too. Since then I never stopped. It's basically an addiction now.

I got shamed for doing so.

Had been told to "just stop".

Even my doctor didn't know about that and thought it was a choice.

It was not.

I thought I was alone in all of this. That I was somewhat "damaged". But when I started researching, I finally saw that it was an actual mental condition.

It's still a problem, but I try to get better. I have an app now, where there are others too, trying to stop.

I have this condition for 10 years now and I'm still too ashamed to share it with anyone. Most of the people -if not all of them- who know, don't know the half of it. They assume I'm only pulling my eyebrows and lashes, though that's not just the case.

I'm now about 50 days pull free, when it comes to my eyebrows. Relapsed on my eyelashes and didn't even try with the others. The chaetophobia got in the way too.

Tickletober prompt 7: Unusual Tool

self quarentine rlly has me cleaning hella recently lol

today we ran out of ALL cleaner other than bleach cleaner, that ive never rlly done anything with but all i know is that i couldnt breathe it in AT A L L  and my eyes stung a lot from the bleach fumes.

I also recently found out i have mild chaetophobia? It’s a little dependent but after a weird dream experience human hair has been about the worst thing to even think about, so cleaning the bathroom with hair all over... oh boy

He will just sit there, absent-mindedly watching the telly, and run one hand through his body hair. Not in a sexual way, he just auto-pilots to some basic monkey instinct and grooms himself while he lounges - then drops whatever loose strands come out onto the couch. By the time he’s finished watching 2 Broke Girls re-runs and left, there is usually a small blue scattering left around where he sat.