i knew it there was no way in hell these fuckers would see the chance to absolutely crush my heart to smithereens and not take it of course they did a parallel with the illustrations of fucking course they did it wasn't enough for both of lloyd's and javier's thoughts to mirror each other they also had to do a visual comparison i am so normal about it i swear-
it's the way javier uses his own body to shield lloyd, the way he goes on to fight the very king of hell himself even while bleeding out, pushing the limits of what should be humanly possible over and over and over again because lloyd is still there and he's still not safe and if javier can give him even just one more minute, just one more second, then it'll be worth whatever pain, whatever exhaustion, whatever damnation may come for him, just so lloyd can be safe-
and it's the way lloyd uses his own body to shield javier, the way he walks to what he thinks will he his own death because when it comes to choosing between javier and him, well, it's not really a choice, no matter how much he hates to die, how much he wants to stay, how much he loves his new life, he still wants javier to live more, so he smiles and he laughs because maybe if he does it hard enough it'll be enough to ease javier's guilt just a little bit but his eyes are blurring and in the end he just thanks him for being with him all this time, tells him that the time they spent together was the happiest he ever was, and that if they only think of him every once in a while, if they don't forget about him-
it'll be enough for him.
y'know what, on second i am not okay about this actually
