#cezanne

Threesome - any sexual activity that happens between three people.

If you're used to engaging in sexual activity alone or with one partner, a threeway can take practice.

What if one person feels left out? Is it okay to be the center of attention?

Open communication—and great positions—are essential for a successful threesome.

Tips for Having a Successful Threesome

Set your intention. Take time to think about what you want to get out of the experience, especially if it’s your first threesome. Are you trying to fulfill a particular fantasy? Do you want to explore your own sexuality? Is something missing from your current sex life? Clarifying your desires will help you navigate the intricacies of a threesome.

Discuss with your partner in the right context. The idea of having a threesome might intimidate your partner at first or cause them to experience jealousy. Stay calm and explain the reasons why you are interested in having a threesome. Be sure that you are not using a threesome as a bandage for or distraction from an existing problem in the relationship. Adding another person to your sex life will only complicate any communication or sexual issues with your partner. Remember that your partner needs to make the decision for themselves—don’t try to convince them. If your partner is the one suggesting a threesome, make sure it’s something you are excited about as well. If it’s not, be honest and discuss other possibilities.

Find the right third person. Once you and your partner are on the same page, discuss potential lovers to introduce into the relationship. Perhaps you met an attractive stranger on an app date, or maybe you want to include your best friend. As long as you and your partner both feel a chemistry with the third person, you can take the next step by approaching them and extending an invitation. Keep your invitation fun and casual, but remember to be direct and clear.

Set boundaries and ground rules. After finding the right person for a threesome, the three of you should sit down to discuss boundaries and ground rules. Agree on which sex acts you all are comfortable performing and receiving. This includes anything from kissing to penetration to oral sex to BDSM play. Always make sure you have consent before engaging in any sexual activity. It’s important for all parties involved to discuss safe sex practices to avoid passing on any sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Decide whether or not you need to use condoms, gloves, or dental dams. Discuss with your partner if the third person is invited to sleep over or not. Once you’ve established boundaries and ground rules, set a date.

Get comfortable and enjoy. Create the right mood for your threesome. Light some candles, share a bottle of wine, and listen to some sexy music. Get comfortable with each other by talking and flirting. Once the sexual encounter begins, try a few different positions until you find the right one that works for all three of you. Keep lube close by, and use it often. Consider introducing sex toys into your threesome. The right sex toy can add an exciting element to the encounter and ensure that everyone is being stimulated the way they want. Be sure to clean your sex toys before sharing them. Remember that if you are feeling uncomfortable at any point, you can stop the sexual encounter immediately.

Debrief. After your threesome, be open with your sexual partners about what you enjoyed. Discussing the experience can help alleviate any jealousy or awkwardness. Once you and your partner are alone again, be honest about whether or not threesomes are something you want to make a regular part of your sex lives or if it was a one-time thing.

With the right partners and clear communication, a good threesome can be a way to explore your sexuality, reignite a connection with your long-term partner, and experience new forms of pleasure.

Some Threesome Sex Positions

These threesome sex positions will help you and your partners get the most out of your session.

Daisy chain: The daisy chain is similar to the sixty-nine position but with three people. Each participant lies on their side, performing oral sex on one other partner. The daisy chain also leaves your hands free for fingering your partner’s genitals or stroking their other erogenous zones.

Double cowgirl: Start in the cowgirl position, with one partner lying on their back and the second partner straddling them. The lying-down partner can penetrate or stimulate the straddling partner with a sex toy, finger, or penis. Then, add the third partner, who can ride the lying-down partner's face for some oral pleasure.

Double penetration: If at least one sexual partner has a vulva, a threesome can be a an opportunity to explore double penetration, or simultaneous vaginal and anal penetration. One way to execute double penetration is to have the person being penetrated kneel, while the other two partners configure themselves around them—one in front and one in back. You can use fingers, penises, strap-on dildos, or vibrators. Remember to wash any toys or body parts used for anal sex before inserting them anywhere else.

Group blowjob: If someone with a penis is participating in the threesome, have them stand while the two other partners kneel to perform a blow job. One partner can play with the shaft while the other focuses on the balls, perineum, or anus. The partners performing oral sex can also masturbate or stimulate each other with their hands.

The Eiffel Tower: In this penetrative sex position, all three partners stand. One person bends over so they can be penetrated from behind, vaginally or anally, by the second person. The third person stands in front of the first person to receive oral sex. You can also try this position kneeling.

Dry Humping - (also known as outercourse, frottage, or dry sex) a non-penetrative sexual activity in which a person grinds against another person or object to elicit pleasure.

The sexual activity serves multiple functions: an alternative to penetrative sex, a form of masturbation, and a foreplay option.

For penis owners, dry humping offers pleasurable friction, while vulva owners receive clitoral stimulation from the grinding motion.

While straddling is the most prominent dry humping position, you can perform the activity using various positions and angles.

Tips to Improve Your Dry Humping Sessions

Dry humping is a non-penetrative sexual technique that anyone can perform, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation. Here are a few tips to help you make the most out of outercourse:

Wear the right garments. For vulva owners, the thinner the barrier between the clitoris and the external stimulus (like a partner’s body or a vibrator), the stronger the sensation. If you’re anticipating a dry humping session, wear thinner fabrics on either end of the compression spectrum, from silk to spandex. For penis owners, the friction from the sexual activity heightens pleasure, so wear jeans or bottoms made from thicker materials for your session.

Incorporate foreplay. Foreplay and dry humping can be a powerful duo, especially if your goal is to achieve orgasm. Before you begin your dry humping session, set the mood by lighting candles, and playing sexy music. A sensual environment makes you and your partner more comfortable to explore other forms of foreplay. Enjoy a long makeout session; kissing triggers the release of chemicals in your brain like oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin, giving you a sense of euphoria.

Practice safe dry humping. Exchanging bodily fluids (secretions or ejaculate) is still possible when dry humping, depending on your state of undress. If you’re trying dry humping with a new partner, discuss using prophylactics before your session to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs), sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), or even pregnancy (ejaculation can seep through some materials).

Try different positions. While the straddle position is the most commonly associated with dry humping, you can perform the sexual activity in various positions, including standing, missionary, and scissoring. For vulva owners, the optimal dry humping position capitalizes on clitoral stimulation. For penis owners, friction is key, so grinding in the opposite direction of your partner is a great way to heighten pleasure. Get creative with different angles, speed, and pressure to find the most effective position.

Dry Humping Positions

Dry humping can be a highly effective path to sexual pleasure and orgasm. Here are a few of the most common positions for outercourse:

Straddle: By straddling a partner, piece of furniture, or a sex toy like a vibrator, vulva owners can control the speed and intensity of the pressure on the clitoris and better direct sensations across the entire vulva. Reverse the position to better free up your hands for fingering, massaging, or light touching.

Missionary: The missionary position is commonly associated with penetrative sex, but it can also elicit maximum pleasure when dry humping. For this position, one partner lies on their back while the other situates themselves on top, facing their partner. This position also makes for an easy transition from dry humping to oral sex, if both parties consent.

Standing: A standing dry hump is perfect for fans of doggy style, a position in which one partner rests on their hands and knees (or elbows) while the other partner is positioned behind them. For the standing position, choose a wall or surface for your partner to lean against, then begin rubbing into them, using different angles and pacing. While in this position, kissing your partner’s neck, shoulders, or earlobes can induce pleasure.

Scissoring: Scissoring refers to a sexual technique in which a vulva owner rubs their vulva against their partner’s body for sexual pleasure. While scissoring is typically associated with queer women or lesbian relationships, anyone can practice the technique, regardless of their genitalia, gender identity, or sexual preferences. In the scissoring position, partners lie side-by-side and intertwine their limbs as they grind—perfect for applying pressure to either genital area.

Wall Sex

Scope out your surroundings. Before engaging in sex with your partner against a wall, you want to be mindful of your surroundings. Make sure there's nothing on the wall that could hurt you or your partner, like a picture frame, shelf, or a stray nail. Choose a wall that will be a comfortable surface for you or your partner to lay against—rougher materials like concrete and brick could get uncomfortable. Wall sex can require a lot of physical effort, so consider choosing a space with a table or counter nearby, which you can use for extra leverage if you get tired.

Enjoy foreplay. Once either you or your partner are safely and comfortably against the wall, you can both enjoy some foreplay. Consider making out, dry humping, or stimulating your partner’s erogenous zones with your tongue and fingers. The giving partner can even kneel in front of the receiving partner, and use the wall as a surface to perform oral sex.

Use your hands to your advantage. You want to use the wall to give yourself leverage when you’re having wall sex because it can be physically demanding. If you’re the giving partner, you can lift the receiving partner up by shifting your bodyweight towards the wall, or using your hands to maintain that tight pressure against the wall.

Add extra support. To help prevent fatigue or injury during a physically demanding session of wall sex, consider using a sex swing or a stool to help support you or your partner’s weight.

Make friction your friend. During wall sex, make sure both partners’ pubic bones are level and free to grind up against one another for extra pleasure. Specifically for vulva-owners, this kind of sex can help with clitoral stimulation.

Wall Sex Positions

A few positions that lend themselves well to having sex against a wall.

Doggy-style to the wall: This doggy-style variation requires the receiving partner to stand facing the wall. The receiving partner can either bend over so their torso is parallel to the floor, or stand up so that their back is against the giving partner’s chest.

Against-the-wall oral: To execute this variation on oral sex, the receiving partner stands with their back against the wall while the giving partner kneels in front of them, at the level of their pelvis.

Standing missionary: Standing missionary involves both partners standing facing each other, with one partner’s back against the wall. As the giving partner penetrates the receiving partner against the wall, the receiving partner can wrap one or both legs around their partner's hips, so they're suspended in the air. If you go for the second option, the giving partner must be strong enough to support their partner’s body weight to avoid injury.

Stool sex: Using a stool is an easy way to help you both stay in the moment and enjoy your sexual experience without focusing on balancing and supporting body weight. Place a stool up against the wall, and have the receiving partner sit on it so their back is flush against the wall, with the giving partner facing them. The receiving partner can open their legs and tilt their waist slightly up towards the giving partner, who can prop one hand against the wall for balance while using the other hand to grab their partner. The receiving partner can also wrap their legs around the giving partner's buttocks to increase friction.