#cep-posts

“Are you sure you’ll be ok Remy?” asked Marc. He nodded, his notes in hand already, a nervous smile plastered on his sweaty face. “It’ll be fine, you’ll see,” said Marceline. Remy only nodded again before getting out into the hall just in time to spot the flock of children circling the big central aquarium. The only adult of the group quickly approached, ushering the small kids along with her. Her shoulder slumped as soon as they reached him. “Remy, is it? I’m Katelyn,” she said, shaking his hand. Her touch didn’t linger on his moist skin, and she lowered her voice, shooting him a sympathetic look. “Nervous?” He stiffly nodded. “It’s ok, they’re not too hard to entertain,” she assured, gesturing to the kids, most of which were already flocking against the aquarium’s cold glass. Remy’s legs were shaking and he stumbled a bit on his way to the kids, smiling weakly. If one was really honest too, they’d say he wasn’t walking very straight, though it was probably the stress.

“This is a first,” Marceline had said. “Is it? Does the aquarium never do those kinds of visits?” “Oh no, they do, I meant for Remy. See, he’s a foreigner, so his English isn’t always very good, and he has never been able to work up the courage to make a visit himself. He’s really easily understandable, mind you, he’s just a bit self-conscious.” “Oh, of course, don’t worry, I’ll give the kids a word about it, make sure they won’t make rude comments.” Marceline had smiled.

“Hello, small human children!” Remy cheerily greeted. At once, most of the little heads turned to him, some lingering, some returning to their observation of the octopus lazily resting on a rock not far from the glass. “I am Remy, the scientist in octopus science,” he continued. “Do you want to hear some fun octopus facts?” “Like what?” asked one of the kids still staring at him. “Like octopus can squeeze through one-inch holes!” A boy next to him made an approximation of an inch with his fingers and turned back to Remy: “No way, that's too little!” Before Remy even had time to open his mouth, a small girl staring at the octopus made a small circle with her fingers and held it between her eye and the animal, closing the other to see through it. “I think I can imagine it,” she said. Remy smiled, wriggling his hands. “Do you know anything else?” asked another child. Remy grinned. “Of course! I know lot about octopus, me! Is there anything you special want know about?” The kid hummed. “Where are the others? I thought there'd be more than one.” “Plenty octopus here! You just can not see !” “How come?” “Octopus can change color and shape for disguise like predator or rock or scientist in octopus science laboratory!” A kid farther back squinted at Remy, though he was too busy listening to the excited children babbling excitedly and trying to spot the disguised octopi to notice. The kid, Marcus, turned to his friend and whispered: “He’s very weird, isn’t he?” “Miss Katelyne told us about that,” his friend Luke whispered back. “It’s because english isn’t his language.” “Not only that, he’s just plain weird.” Luke shrugged, closing the conversation, as Marcus continued observing the scientist.

The group was now walking leisurely around the central aquarium, allowing the children to observe more octopi. “Tell us another thing about octopus Mister Remy please!” Remy stifled a laugh. “Ok, did you know octopus has three hearts?” The children gasped. “No way,” some whispered. “Also, octopus blood is blue!” “Is it?” Remy nodded. “Say, how many octopus do you have here?” Katelyn asked. “Well, we have seventeen here in octopus science laboratory.” “I can’t see the seventeenth though…” said one of the kids after counting. “Maybe that’s because we couldn’t spot him in his disguise,” tried her teacher. “Oh no no,” said Remy, “you have seen all of them.” “Then how come I counted sixteen?” “Ah, that is because science octopus is missing, no one knows where is,” answered Remy, laughing. “Why is it so funny to you,” asked Marcus as some of his classmates giggled. “Isn’t it your job to make sure they're all there?” “Of course it is human child! But some time, even scientist in octopus science laboratory has slip ups! And should not worry because octopus will be found eventually! Is not like octopus could overthrow human leader!” The kids giggled at his little joke, even Marcus cracked a smile, though he still wasn’t sure about the guy.

The following day, as per usual, Remy was the first on the premises. He was preparing the laboratory for a very important guest. The place was spotless. As the man leading (and paying for) the research arrived at the meeting room, Remy set out to look after his assistant, a tiny robot, which would not be needed during the meeting. As Remy was new, he did not partake in it either. He sat on the floor, his back against the aquarium, the robot at his side. They stayed in companionable silence for a while before Remy asked: “Want hear some fun octopus facts?” The robot was silent for so long the robot didn’t seem like it was going to answer, but at last it did. “Why not?” “Octopus can squeeze through one-inch holes. They also change color and shape for disguise like predator or rock or scientist in octopus science laboratory. Octopus has blue blood and three hearts too.” The robot made a low beeping noise. “Now is your turn for tell me some human facts,” Remy said to the robot. “For example: how many arm does human leader have?” The robot started to beep out an answer but was interrupted as its owner came out of the meeting room. “And good luck with finding that missing one! It can’t have gotten too far.” He waved to Remy, who waved back, and the robot took off after him, leaving Remy alone besides the aquarium. He tilted his head back to look at the octopus swimming behind him. He opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it as his colleague Marceline got out of the meeting room too. She came to sit beside him. "Sorry you couldn't assist. It's the procedure and all you know, it's a security thing." "It is quite ok, I don't mind. I think I understand too. Wouldn't want important information to go to bad person." She smiled. "Quite right, though I don't think you're a bad person Remy." He laughed lightly. "You don't know that." She laughed with him. "Well no, but I've been told I'm skilled at reading people." His laugh quieted out as he turned to look at her. She followed suit. "What?" "Nothing," he answered. "You are not bad person either." She grinned.

The monitors were beeping calmly before him as he nursed a coffee pitcher in his hands. "Remy, there you are!" Remy jumped. The pitcher slipped from his hands and fell to the floor, sharp pieces flying around. He turned to face the source of the sound, which was no other than Marceline. "I'm so sorry! Wait, let me help you!" "No need, no need, I am fine!" "No really, let me help, it's my fault." "No matter no matter, I will handle it." After a bit more pushing, she hung back silently as Remy picked up the shards. He threw some of them away, painfully aware of Marceline's gaze on his back. His hand too was painful and he looked around for something to cover the dripping wound with. He grabbed a cloth besides the cup holder and tied it around his wound, biting back a gasp as pain shot through his arm. "Are you ok? You got cut didn't you?" Marceline took a step forward. "At least let me help with that." Remy turned back around, holding his injured hand. "No need, look! It is fine!" "Are you sure?" He nodded as he bent down once more, picking up the last glass shards littering the floor. "Is there anything I can do?" He mulled it over as he looked up at her. "We should vacuum. So we are sure no glass is left." She nodded, scurrying to the janitor's closet to retrieve a vacuum.

At closure, Remy was the last to pack up. After he closed the lab, he rolled the legs of his pants and climbed the stairs to the aquarium. Before that, he had set his stuff in the vent closest to them. He took off his bandage to let the wound breathe and settled on the edge, his feet dangling in the water. Multiple octopi were swarming around him. One of them looked worriedly at the blue dripping slowly into the water as he recalled his day to them.

Bonus

Like, the first movie was described a lot as "an edgy movie for incels" and like...

As a person with disabilities, including mental illnesses, the first movie made me angry on Arthur's behalf. it made me hurt, and it felt great yet sad when he snapped.

Great because he was finally fighting back. Sade because well... He shouldn't have to, it should never have come to this.

The second movie, according to most, seems to be "a mockery of the people who liked the first one".

And frankly, I don't care if it was intended as such, because that's not what I saw.

What I saw, was the same man I'd come to grow attached to and care for in the first movie, dealing with the aftermath of his breakdown and struggling to keep a sliver of sanity and joy and hope in a world that never cared about him and never saw him as a person: only a monster, a freak, only things that excused abuse.

Well, except for the doctors, who saw him like a broken vase. Something fragile. But still not a person.

That last one shows a lot with the "Joker is an alter" theory they cling onto the whole time, when it's clear to the audience that it never was true. It's just Arthur, as he says in the end. it's just Arthur that couldn't take it anymore and did horrible things as a survival reflex. It shows with the way they expose Arthur in the courtroom: no regards to his dignity and privacy as a person.

The guards are only kind when you act as they see you: a criminal, under them.

The abuse depicted isn't graphic, at least it didn't seem graphic to me. But it still had an enormous impact.

The storyline with Lee I couldn't have been more happy with.

The moment she said "I wanna see the real you" while putting make up on Arthur, i knew how this was going to end. yet, I couldn't help but hope with Arthur. He seemed happy. But every time we saw lee outside of his daydreams, I couldn't be hopeful. Her demeanor screamed what was going to happen.

I loved how Arthur's daydreams portrayed this too. Not just in the obvious ways, like her shooting him. Music, in the first movie, was how you'd tell a delusion from a daydream. Arthur has music in his daydreams, he's an entertainer, he liked the scene. Lee, however liked the fame. That's the big difference I feel is subtly shown in Arthur's daydreams. He's singing because this is his world, he does whatever, and he likes singing. She's singing because she's performing, she's on a scene, sending a message.

As much as my soft heart wanted Arthur to have a happy ending, whether alone or not, I knew it wouldn't happen, and I don't dislike that.

He'd been on the brink of metaphorically dying when Ricky got killed, and he did when Lee abandoned him.

A happy ending was never an option, and at this point, I'm not sure what would've been more impactful: leaving him there, a shell of himself, or him dying for real - then again I don't think there's an objective answer to that.

I got surprised when he got stabbed. Not because it wasn't predictable: there'd been foreshadowing, it didn't come out of nowhere. No, i got surprised because, the thing with these movies, is that they suck me in.

Between the music, whether in the background or in a more musical fashion, the cinematography (lights, framing,...), along with how I relate to and feel for Arthur, it all has a mesmerizing quality that makes me travel far.

So, when Arthur got called for a visit, I got hopeful, genuinely. Because I didn't have my writer glasses on; that's not fun for a first watch. So I followed along, hoping he'd find a friend on the other side. Who? I had no idea, I just wanted him to be happy.

I was uneasy when he got stopped. I think that even if my conscious was too engrossed to realise the foreshadowing, my subconscious had gotten the message just fine. That's another reason why I felt the movie was well done.

The scene where he actually died, I think everything froze for me.

When I got out of the theater, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom for a few minutes. See, the thing with my group of friends, is that when we go see a movie, we discuss it immediately. I love that usually, but I was feeling... off. I still don't know what words I could put on what I was feeling. A sort of melancholic hopelessness, all the while knowing that it was just a story, that I wouldn't end up like this. I say this because, i think my first clear thought when i collected myself was "Is there no place for people like us?".

And obviously things aren't as bad as in fiction, but, well... i always make the joke that there's no need to read/watch dystopian stories anymore, because we're living in one. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate these stories. I just feel like we're living in one.

I'm not going to list off why, I'm sure you'll find many reasons yourself, many of which I probably wouldn't even have thought of. Isn't that sad?

I don't have a conclusion to this. There's more hope for most of us than for Arthur. But when you look at the fates of a lot of people like him -not the "power-tripping incels", as I've seen- people with disabilities, people in poverty, people who've or are being abused... Is there a world where we stop making victims?

Truth is, the real reason I wanted to put this out was to try to get rid of that feeling, the one that caught onto me as I left my cinema seat.

I thought putting it into words would help.

I don't think it did.

It still has a hold on me, although it's less overwhelming that that night, it's still there, a steady feeling for the last few days. I saw the movie last Thursday.

It's not that novel of a feeling. i remember feeling like this once, years ago. When I wasn't a kid anymore, and suddenly the world wasn't pretty.

Now I can see that the world is pretty. Humanity is wonderful. Still, it sticks to my throat like sticky honey, except it's bittersweet and it feels like rain and thunder and screams.