#cellophane

feat. PRO-HERO CELLOPHANE

“here kitty-kitty, here kitty-kitty,”

mdni cw: ummm fingering, bad language, no 'grown folk sex' bcos im 20 fuck yall, what else, running from it, praise ig, needy reader, soft dom sero, is it soft dom? idk man, teasing, he's so annoying, fem reader, black coded reader, umm idk its kinda dub-conish? bondage, improper use of quirks, he’s sooo greedy omg, some shit just writes itself.

wc: 1.6k

starting track...

↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺

“what time you gonna be back?”

sero huffs out a quiet laugh, low into the receiver, shoulders dipping as he leans back against the brick wall outside the restaurant. the night air’s cool, city noise humming around him, neon from the sign above bleeding red across the pavement.

he can hear it. the pout. you’re doing a piss poor job of hiding it, trying to keep your voice level, but it’s there, soft around the edges, pulling at his heart strings.

“tchhh… i don’t know, babe,” he says, cigarette tucked between his lips, words curling around the smoke. “what time d’you want me back?”

on the other end, you huff, softly, tiredly, his poor baby.

he grins, slow, lazy, eyes half-lidded as he exhales a thin stream of smoke off to the side.

“i want you here now, han.”

yeah. there it is. his head tips back against the wall, a soft tsk leaving him like he’s annoyed, but his slick smile is still there, stuck at the corner of his mouth. because his girl, his pretty girl, is at home, asking for him like that.

you’re not usually like this. usually it’s sharp words, dry tone, acting like he’s just barely tolerable. always got something to say, always got him rolling his eyes and biting back a laugh.

this is new, and he likes it a little too much.

“now?” he repeats, teasing, quieter this time, voice low as he drags the cigarette from his mouth, tapping ash onto the pavement. “damn. didn’t know i was in such high demand.”

you make a small sound, somewhere between a groan and a complaint.

“don’t start,” you mutter. “you said you’d be back early.”

“i said i’d try,” he corrects, easy, like it’s nothing. but his gaze flicks toward the restaurant door anyway, where muffled laughter spills out every time it opens.

shoto’s thing, it's a big deal, and the first time they've all been together in almost two years.

he looks back down the street.

then back at the ground.

“…it’s just dinner, baby,” he adds, softer. “i’m not gone-gone.”

another pause. he can hear something shifting on your end, fabric, maybe you moving on the couch, or pacing, you do that when you’re thinking too hard.

“i know,” you say, but it’s quieter now. honest. “just—”

he frowns slightly, cigarette forgotten between his fingers. “just what?”

he can hear you exhale, he can almost see you bite down your ego and pluck up the courage to say, "i miss you."

god, his heart melts, and his cock twitches. you are so fucking cute, you don't even realise it. and he's a weak, weak man, it doesn't matter that he literally saw you this morning.

“yeah?” he murmurs, voice dropping, smoothing out just enough. “you miss me?”

he’s smiling like an idiot, full-on, but you’d never hear it in his tone. he knows better than to push it too far, knows you’d snap right back if he started sounding too pleased with himself.

there’s a small, irritated sound from you. you're probably rolling your eyes, you've probably got that half-disgusted scrunch on your face that he loves so much.

“don’t make it weird," your voice crackles through the phone, deadpan at his silence.

“i’m not,” he lies easily.

“you are.”

“a little,” he admits, softer.

the teasing edge dulling as he rubs the back of his neck, glancing down at the cigarette before dropping it and grinding it out under his shoe.

“alright,” he says, like he’s decided something mid-step. “i’m not staying long.”

you go quiet for a second.

“…you don’t have to—”

“i know,” he cuts in. “i want to.”

↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺

“what, i leave you for a couple hours and this is what happens?”

three fingers stuffed into your sopping, quivering pussy, flexing, scissoring, in and out, and in and out, and in and out—

“nothing to say?”

what can you say? what can you do? other than drool into your pillow and quiver. other than arch your ass back into his palm and whine when he stops moving.

other than start pouting, again, “hann— why’d’you stop?”

fuck he loves this. he lives for this. because, again, you’re not normally like this. you love making his life hell, you love pushing his buttons and telling him how unfunny he is when he retaliates. you love frowning at him, and rolling your eyes, and muttering sarcastic shit under your breath.

so he savours these moments, the times where you crumble into his arms, or into his bed, and only he can pick you back up and put you together.

it inflates his ego so bad.

and his dick.

which he’s been ignoring for a while, and he’ll probably keep ignoring it for a little bit longer. i mean, how can he even focus on his own pleasure right now, not when his pretty girl is begging for his attention.

him and only him.

he wants to hear you say it again, call out his name, he wants that little “hanta, please,” on loop in his brain, again, and again, and again.

“where d’you think you’re going?”

because why are you running from it, feebly trying to shift yourself up the mattress. two big hands grab the underside of your thighs and pull you in, closer.

“thought you wanted me ‘here, right now’,” you hate when he does that, mocks your voice in that ridiculous high pitched manner that sounds nothing like you. “‘swear you said that, huh, baby, could’a sworn you were begging me to come home?”

your pussy replies for you, just squelch, squelch, squelch, god if you had any coherency, you’d be so embarrassed. but you’re so far gone, he knows it, so he doesn’t push for an answer.

instead he snickers, one of his hands placed on the small of your back, pushing your body further down into the mattress, practically holding you hostage, and the rough pads of his fingertips slowly caressing your inner walls.

“baby,” he snorts, swirling the digits, around and around, your poor abused clit, swollen, puffy. “stop tryna run, you wanted this, you wanted han t’come and make you a mess.”

“my girl’s soooo fucking filthy,” and he cages your body with his own so he can murmur directly into your ear, “listen to her, poor thing, she’s been thinking about me all day.”

god you hate him so much, you foot kicks out to try and get him to shut the fuck up, but those stupid fuckin’ hero instincts of his.

tape. the tape hero.

how could you forget.

you feel the familiar weight of it, the binding of his quirk, the underside of your calves suddenly feeling heavy and sticky.

asshole.

you haven’t forgotten yourself yet, “fuckin’ bastard,” you slur in between moans, as you weakly attempt to wiggle your trapped legs. “lemme go— lemme,”

“tch, not talkin’ t’you honey,” he’s delirious on the feeling of your warm syrupy walls clenching against his fingers, even tighter now that you can’t move, “m’talkin’ t’my poor baby down here.” punctuated by a wet smack to your clit that has your toes curling.

“she needs me right now,” he mouths at your shoulder, desperate to leave his mark on you, desperate for you to feel this tomorrow, to remember him when you go to work in the morning, “you’re not gonna deny her, are ya?”

you crane your neck back at his closeness, your soft pout returning, awh, how adorable, he caves easily, gifting you something that’s more claim than kiss.

his tongue making itself at home in your mouth, trying to hide his smirk as he nibbles on your lips.

he can’t help himself when you get like this.

especially when he knows that the weak attempts at escape are just for show, just so you can say later than you definitely weren’t into it, and what the fuck is he talking about.

always the way with you.

but you’ve gone quiet now that his tongue’s down your throat, invading your personal space. maybe this is what you wanted all along, him. crowding your body and clouding your senses.

god, it get’s him off.

how badly you want him, how much you need him.

and the fact that you can only get off with him here, the fact that your fingers don’t compare anymore, not after you’ve had a taste of his fingers, and his mouth, and his cock.

he might cum on principle alone.

might? he does.

with one limp hump, and a pathetic strangled groan that he desperately tries to swallow down. but it’s never felt so good.

he rides it out, through jitters and twitches, and fingers still pummelling your gummy pussy as he does so.

you feel it, the warmth spreading, through the fabric of his pants, all the way to the back of your bare thighs.

you would’ve started snickering, maybe made a cute little scathing remark as you are prone to, if not for the fact that he does quite literally everything in his power to distract you from the evidence of your effect on him.

his unoccupied hand snakes it’s way under your body so he can pitch your puffy nipples, his palm heavy as he grabs a handful of the soft flesh of your tit.

he doesn’t even let his mouth part from yours as he thumbs your clit, he leaves no space for you to comment, but i don’t think you would, even if you could.

not when you’re floating like this.

caught somewhere between space and time, where only he exists, only hanta, and his stupid, magical, fingers.

but even as he coos condescendingly when you finally squirt, and it gets all over his wrist, soaks his bedsheets, and the tingles spread all the way down to your toes, you know he’s not finished.

he still has to leave his mark deep inside his poor little pussy.

… end of playback

↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺

sorry guys i have cellophane sleeping in my bed tnite and im NOT SHARING.

UA Part 1 / UA Part 2 / Pro Heroes / Villains

How would they react to your sweet words of praise during an intimate moment? All characters are aged up.

Featuring Aged Up: Izuku Midoriya, Shoto Todoroki, Tenya Ida, Denki Kaminari, Mirio Togata, Hanta Sero, Koji Koda, Mashirao Ojiro

Hanta Sero x Fem! Reader, introvert! reader, just friends, tension, making out, friends to lovers, petnames (pretty girl, ma), short(er)! reader.

❥・Hanta Sero — binding touch (nsfw)

❥・tags: nsfw, hanta sero blurb, established relationship, bondage (his tape), dry humping, praise, implied oral (reader recieving implied), super soft i love this man bad, gn!reader, gn!nicknames (baby), no use of y/n

❥・word count: 575

Hanta Sero is a chill guy.

He’s down for anything.

So why hasn't he tried bondage with his tape before?

He was happy when you suggested something new for your intimate time, albeit a bit surprised.

You'd never once mentioned being into any sort of bondage, whether it be handcuffs, ropes, or ribbons. Neither did he; he’d never considered bondage as something he’d enjoy.

Tape? That’s a different story.

He knows tape.

“Look at you,” he exhales quietly, large hands rubbing up and down your arms and shoulders.

You’re straddling his thigh, wrists bound together behind you with two layers of his tape. Both of you, shirtless, though still in your bottoms.

He likes this part.

Foreplay that’s simply you riling yourself up, and all he has to do is sit back and watch.

And tease, just a bit.

He presses light kisses on your neck, staring up at you with half-lidded eyes and that smile that's far less sleazy than the one he normally wears.

It’s soft. Quiet, for you.

“So needy,” he teases quietly, tongue darting out to lick your skin. A shiver travels up your spine.

“Not too tight, right?” he mumbles softly, leaning upward to steal another kiss from your pouting lips, referring to the tape wrapped around your wrists.

You shake your head, chasing after his lips when he parts.

“So… so needy. And. And you’re mine,” he exhales softly, hands dropping to your hips.

You whine quietly, nodding.

“I’m- I’m yours. I’m all yours, Hanta,” you breathe, breath shallow as he guides your hips to grind down harder on his thigh.

“That’s it,” he hums softly, burying his face into your neck again.

“Grind my leg, baby. Get whatever you need out of me,” he mumbles into your neck between kisses against the skin.

You whine again, and he perks up at the slight pace change in your hips.

“Getting close?” he smiles against your skin as he kisses on your neck. Your shoulder. Your jaw. Your chest. Your lips.

“Mhm,” you hum softly.

“C’mon, baby. Be good for me, yeah? Cum in your pants for Hanta,” he whispers against your lips.

“Hanta, please,” you gasp.

His hands press firmer on your hips, helping you maintain a quicker pace.

“Please, what?” he mumbles, pulling back to stare at your face.

“Use your words, baby. Or I can't give you what you want,” he teases, smiling, with that sleazy smile of his.

“Han… plea- please help me cum,” you whimper softly, face skewing as you hold back another breathy gasp.

“There it is. Was that so hard?” he hums, smiling as you rut against his leg faster.

Scratch what he said before. This was his favorite part.

He likes seeing you unravel. The way your mouth hangs open and the way you tremble. He likes knowing he’s the cause of your pleasure.

Your orgasm follows soon after, practically collapsing into him as your fluids wet your pant fabric, as well as his.

He huffs a soft laugh at the feeling, kissing you deeply.

“I’ll help you clean up,” he whispers against your lips.

This is his favorite part.

There’s nothing more he wants from you than to dive between your legs and make you cum one too many times for you to handle, and then a few more times.

He shifts you onto your back and slips your bottoms off.

Hanta Sero will make sure he gets every last drop.

❥・a/n: apology fic as promised :3 i love sero so bad .. also half cliche fic bc who hasnt thought of sero being a bondage dispenser hello .. anywayss love yall and stay safe !! <3

⤷ also!! i wanted to mention that my taglist is open :3 dm me w characters you want to be tagged for, as well as whether you want tags for nsfw works :3 you can also put it through my req inbox :3 if youre doing through the req inbox, make sure to uncheck anon or provide me with the specific blog you want to be tagged on if its not your main blog !

⇨ sero was supposed to pick up and leave, but somehow, he keeps finding new reasons to stay.

(Hanta Sero x F!Reader)

🖤💖13/31 for Kinktober💖🖤

Word Count: 661

Warnings: SMUT, MDNI - 18+, pegging, smoking

The living room smelled faintly of weed and Hot Cheetos. You were cross-legged on the floor with a bag in your lap, while Hanta was sprawled across the couch, eyes glassy, grinning like a fool. His hand dangled over the edge just enough to keep dipping into your snacks, despite you swatting him every other second.

***Bakugo getting asked to do a threesome. He’s asking his squad for “advice”***

Bakugo: you guys are not going to fucking believe what just happened

He hit send and watched the three dots appear almost immediately. Of course they were all online. It was Friday night, and none of them had lives.

**Kaminari:** oh shit what happened

**Kaminari:** did you finally snap and murder a reporter

**Kaminari:** because i will help you hide the body

**Sero:** context please

**Kirishima:** Bro you ok?

Bakugo stared at his phone, trying to figure out how to even explain this situation. How did you tell your friends that you'd been invited to a threesome? How did you phrase that in a way that didn't sound completely insane?

*Fuck it. Just say it.*

**Bakugo:** todoroki invited me over for dinner

**Bakugo:** turns out it wasnt just dinner

**Bakugo:** he wants me to fuck his girlfriend

**Bakugo:** with him

**Bakugo:** like at the same time

He hit send and immediately regretted every life choice that had led him to this moment.

The response was instantaneous.

**Kaminari:** WHAT

**Sero:** BRO

**Kirishima:** WAIT WHAT

**Kaminari:** BAKUGO

**Kaminari:** BAKUGO ARE YOU SERIOUS

**Kaminari:** IS THIS A JOKE

**Kaminari:** BECAUSE IF THIS IS A JOKE ITS NOT FUNNY

**Sero:** hold on hold on

**Sero:** todoroki has a girlfriend???

**Sero:** since when

**Bakugo:** like a month apparently

**Bakugo:** american chick

**Bakugo:** hes fucking serious about this

**Kaminari:** BRO

**Kaminari:** BRO IF YOU DONT DO THIS WE CANT BE FRIENDS

**Kaminari:** IM SERIOUS

**Kaminari:** ILL BLOCK YOUR NUMBER

**Kaminari:** ILL MOVE TO ANOTHER COUNTRY

**Sero:** ill help him pack

**Kaminari:** sero will help me pack

**Kaminari:** we will both leave

**Kaminari:** you will be friendless

Bakugo snorted despite himself. Leave it to Kaminari to be absolutely zero help in a crisis.

**Sero:** what does she look like

**Sero:** this is critical information

Of course. Of fucking course that was Sero's first question.

**Bakugo:** are you fucking kidding me right now

**Sero:** WHAT

**Sero:** its a valid question

**Sero:** is she hot

**Sero:** does she have a good ass

**Sero:** tits???

**Sero:** we need DATA

**Kaminari:** yeah man we need details

**Kaminari:** for science

**Kaminari:** and research purposes

**Kaminari:** very important research

**Kirishima:** Guys maybe we should focus on the fact that this is a huge decision and Bakugo might need actual advice???

**Kaminari:** shut up kirishima

**Kaminari:** BAKUGO SEND PICS

**Kaminari:** WE NEED VISUAL CONFIRMATION

**Sero:** yeah bro pics or it didnt happen

**Sero:** this is standard protocol

**Sero:** we need evidence

Bakugo stared at his phone. These were supposed to be his friends. His trusted companions. The people he'd fought alongside, saved lives with, trusted with his actual life.

And they were absolutely fucking useless.

But also... they had a point.

*Fine. You want pics? I'll give you pics.*

He unlocked the bathroom door as quietly as possible and eased it open. The hallway was empty, and he could hear Sarah's voice from the kitchen, saying something about the rice being perfect. Music was still playing—something with a steady Latin beat that seemed to pulse through the apartment.

Bakugo crept down the hallway like he was on a goddamn stealth mission. Which was ridiculous. He was a pro hero. He'd infiltrated villain hideouts. He'd done undercover work. And here he was, sneaking around an apartment to take a picture of a woman for his idiot friends.

*This is my life now. This is what I've been reduced to. Sixteen-year-old me would be so fucking confused right now. "You're doing WHAT? For WHO? And you're SNEAKING AROUND like some kind of creep?"*

*Yeah, well, sixteen-year-old me was also a virgin who thought holding hands was basically marriage, so what the fuck did he know.*

He reached the edge of the hallway where it opened into the living area and kitchen. Sarah was at the stove, her back to him, stirring something in the pot. That fucking dress. That goddamn dress with the back that went down to practically nothing, showing off all that golden skin, the curve of her spine, the way her body moved as she worked.

Todoroki was at the table, pouring wine into glasses, his back also turned.

Bakugo pulled out his phone, angled it, and snapped a picture. The camera made the softest click, barely audible over the music, and he immediately ducked back into the hallway.

*One down.*

*Pro: I'm getting photographic evidence for my friends who will never believe this happened otherwise.*

*Con: I'm literally hiding in a hallway taking creep shots like some kind of stalker.*

*Pro: She literally bit my neck and told me she likes it when I bite back, so I don't think she'd mind.*

*Con: That's not how consent works, dumbass.*

He waited, heart pounding for absolutely no reason except that this entire situation was fucking insane. After a moment, he heard Sarah's voice again.

"Shoto, can you grab the serving spoons from that drawer?"

"Which drawer?"

"The one by the sink."

Footsteps. Movement. Bakugo peeked around the corner again.

Sarah had turned around, leaning back against the counter with a wooden spoon in one hand. She was licking sauce off her thumb, her head tilted slightly, and the front of that dress—Jesus Christ, the front of that dress with that neckline that showed off her cleavage and the curve of her breasts—was just as devastating as the back.

*Fuck it. In for a penny, in for a pound.*

He raised his phone and snapped another picture just as she smiled at something Todoroki said.

*Got it.*

He retreated back down the hallway, slipped into the bathroom, and locked the door again. His hands were actually shaking slightly as he pulled up the photos.

*Fuck.*

The pictures were good. Too good. The first one showed the full expanse of her back, the dress, the curve of her body. The second caught her mid-smile, the front of the dress, everything.

*These idiots better appreciate this. I just committed a misdemeanor for them.*

He opened the group chat and sent both photos without commentary.

Then he waited.

The response was immediate and exactly as chaotic as he'd expected.

**Kaminari:** HOLY SHIT

**Sero:** BRO

**Kaminari:** BRO

**Sero:** BROOOOO

**Kaminari:** IS THAT HER

**Kaminari:** IS THAT ACTUALLY HER

**Sero:** bakugo

**Sero:** my man

**Sero:** my dude

**Sero:** my brother in arms

**Sero:** my hero

**Kaminari:** THAT BACK

**Kaminari:** THAT FUCKING BACK

**Kaminari:** YOU CAN SEE EVERYTHING

**Sero:** and the FRONT

**Sero:** those TITS

**Sero:** bakugo i am on my KNEES

**Kaminari:** IF YOU DONT DO THIS

**Kaminari:** I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU

**Kaminari:** I WILL HAUNT YOU

**Kaminari:** I WILL COME BACK AS A GHOST JUST TO CALL YOU A COWARD

**Sero:** that dress should be illegal

**Sero:** that dress is a CRIME

**Sero:** shes a fucking WEAPON

**Kaminari:** okay okay i have ideas

**Kaminari:** POSITION IDEAS

**Kaminari:** are you ready

**Bakugo:** oh god

**Kaminari:** HEAR ME OUT

**Kaminari:** you bend her over todorokis couch

**Kaminari:** while he takes the front

**Kaminari:** CLASSIC SETUP

**Sero:** KAMINARI

**Kaminari:** OR

**Kaminari:** OR

**Kaminari:** wall fucking

**Kaminari:** you pin her against the wall

**Kaminari:** hold her up

**Kaminari:** todoroki can work with that

**Sero:** the kitchen counter

**Sero:** bend her over the kitchen counter

**Sero:** very spontaneous

**Sero:** very hot

**Sero:** you could do it right there while shes cooking

**Kaminari:** SERO YOURE A GENIUS

**Bakugo:** im going to kill both of you

**Kaminari:** the SHOWER

**Kaminari:** todorokis got that ice and fire thing

**Kaminari:** TEMPERATURE PLAY BRO

**Kaminari:** hot and cold at the same time

**Kaminari:** shed lose her fucking MIND

**Sero:** standing positions

**Sero:** you hold her up

**Sero:** let todoroki do his thing

**Sero:** she looks tiny you could definitely lift her

**Kaminari:** the BED obviously

**Kaminari:** but like

**Kaminari:** you take her from behind

**Kaminari:** she goes down on him

**Kaminari:** EVERYONE WINS

**Sero:** or reverse it

**Sero:** she rides him

**Sero:** you take her mouth

**Sero:** OPTIONS BAKUGO

**Sero:** SO MANY OPTIONS

Bakugo stared at his phone in absolute horror.

*Why did I text them. Why did I think this was a good idea. What is wrong with me.*

**Sero:** knock her up bro

**Bakugo:** WHAT THE FUCK SERO

**Sero:** you heard me

**Sero:** knock her up

**Sero:** put a baby in that woman

**Sero:** do it for all of us

**Sero:** do it for JAPAN

**Sero:** do it for INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS

**Kaminari:** sero has a point

**Kaminari:** this is your civic duty

**Kaminari:** youre a PRO HERO

**Kaminari:** this is HERO WORK

**Bakugo:** sero does not have a point

**Bakugo:** sero has lost his fucking mind

**Bakugo:** you have ALL lost your fucking minds

**Kaminari:** we are being SUPPORTIVE

**Kaminari:** we are being GOOD FRIENDS

**Kaminari:** we are giving you ADVICE

**Sero:** the best advice

**Sero:** really bakugo what more do you want from us

**Sero:** we sent you position ideas

**Sero:** we validated your choices

**Sero:** we told you to breed her

**Bakugo:** STOP SAYING BREED

**Kaminari:** BREED HER

**Sero:** BREEDING TIME

**Kirishima:** Okay wait hold on

**Kirishima:** like is this a joke bro

**Kirishima:** cause I dont see Todoroki wanting to share her like that

**Kirishima:** this seems fake

Finally. Finally, one of them was showing some sense.

**Bakugo:** dumbass he literally invited me over

**Bakugo:** he ASKED me to do this

**Bakugo:** apparently i was on some kind of list

**Bakugo:** if I dont want to hes calling your dumbass next

There was a pause. Bakugo could practically see Kirishima's face as he processed that information.

**Kirishima:** ...

**Kirishima:** ...dont do it

**Bakugo:** finally

**Bakugo:** finally someone making sense

**Kirishima:** no bro

**Kirishima:** not like that

**Kirishima:** dont do it because if you say no

**Kirishima:** I get to break into that

**Kirishima:** I get to use todorokis couch

**Kirishima:** I get to hit that in his APARTMENT

The chat went completely silent for exactly three seconds.

Then all hell broke loose.

**Kaminari:** KIRISHIMA

**Sero:** KIRISHIMA EIJIROU

**Kaminari:** WHAT THE FUCK

**Sero:** WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

**Kaminari:** YOU SELFISH BASTARD

**Sero:** YOU ABSOLUTE PIECE OF SHIT

**Kaminari:** YOU WERENT BEING REASONABLE

**Kaminari:** YOU WERE BEING STRATEGIC

**Sero:** this man really said "dont do it"

**Sero:** and we thought he was being A GOOD FRIEND

**Sero:** but NO

**Sero:** he wanted SLOPPY SECONDS

**Kirishima:** theyre not sloppy seconds if bakugo never does it

**Kirishima:** thats just regular firsts

**Kaminari:** THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS

**Sero:** THE AUDACITY

**Sero:** THE ABSOLUTE AUDACITY

**Sero:** OF THIS MAN

**Kaminari:** kirishima really looked at those pictures

**Kaminari:** looked at that WOMAN

**Kaminari:** and said "i hope bakugo fucks this up so i can have her"

**Kirishima:** i mean

**Kirishima:** yeah

**Kirishima:** obviously

**Sero:** AT LEAST HES HONEST

**Kaminari:** HONESTY DOESNT MAKE IT BETTER

**Bakugo:** you fucking traitor

**Kirishima:** all is fair in love and threesomes bro

**Sero:** did he just

**Sero:** did he just quote shakespeare

**Sero:** about THREESOMES

**Kaminari:** thats not even the right quote

**Kirishima:** close enough

**Bakugo:** im going to murder you

**Kirishima:** not if you do the threesome

**Kirishima:** then ill just be sad and jealous

**Kirishima:** which is better than dead

**Sero:** kirishima with the strategic thinking

**Kaminari:** okay but real talk

**Kaminari:** REAL TALK

**Kaminari:** bakugo you have to do this now

**Kaminari:** you HAVE to

**Kaminari:** because if you dont

**Kaminari:** kirishima wins

**Sero:** and we cant let kirishima win

**Sero:** not like this

**Sero:** not after what he just pulled

**Kirishima:** hey i didnt pull anything

**Kirishima:** i was just being honest about my motivations

**Kaminari:** YOUR MOTIVATIONS SUCK

**Sero:** the worst motivations

**Sero:** truly terrible

**Kirishima:** you guys are just mad you werent on the list

**Kaminari:** LOW BLOW

**Sero:** KIRISHIMA

**Kaminari:** WE WERENT ON THE LIST???

**Kaminari:** TODOROKI DIDNT EVEN CONSIDER US???

**Sero:** this is the worst day of my life

**Bakugo:** you guys are fucking useless

**Bakugo:** all of you

**Bakugo:** i came here for advice

**Bakugo:** and all i got was position suggestions and kirishima trying to steal my threesome

**Kirishima:** its not YOUR threesome yet

**Kirishima:** you havent committed

**Kaminari:** KIRISHIMA STOP

**Sero:** okay okay

**Sero:** real advice time

**Sero:** REAL advice

**Bakugo:** finally

**Sero:** do it

**Sero:** definitely do it

**Sero:** but make eye contact with todoroki the whole time

**Sero:** assert dominance

**Bakugo:** THATS NOT REAL ADVICE

**Kaminari:** no wait seros onto something

**Kaminari:** you gotta establish whos in charge

**Sero:** pee on his couch

**Sero:** mark your territory

**Kaminari:** SERO NO

**Sero:** SERO YES

**Kirishima:** please dont pee on todorokis couch

**Bakugo:** i hate all of you

**Bakugo:** i hate you so much

**Kaminari:** but youre gonna do it right

**Kaminari:** youre gonna do the threesome

**Sero:** say yes bakugo

**Sero:** say yes so kirishima loses

**Kirishima:** wow

**Kirishima:** WOW

**Kirishima:** so its like that

**Kaminari:** its EXACTLY like that

**Kaminari:** you tried to sabotage our boy

**Kaminari:** you tried to steal his threesome

**Kaminari:** this is WAR

Bakugo leaned back against the bathroom door, staring at his phone as the messages continued to roll in. His friends were losing their minds. Kirishima was actively trying to cockblock him for his own benefit. Kaminari and Sero were giving him sex position advice like they were coaching him through a sports game.

This was insane.

All of this was completely insane.

*Okay. Okay, let's think about this rationally.*

*Pro: My idiot friends—who have terrible judgment about literally everything—all think I'd be insane not to do this.*

*Con: My idiot friends have terrible judgment about literally everything.*

*Pro: Sarah is legitimately incredible. That body. That confidence. The way she bit my neck and whispered in my ear. The fact that she WANTS this.*

*Con: I have to... what, coordinate? With Todoroki? The entire time? That's weird. That's definitely weird.*

*Pro: Todoroki doesn't seem to think it's weird. He's done this before. He knows what he's doing.*

*Con: But I haven't done this before. What if I fuck it up? What if I'm terrible at threesome logistics?*

*Pro: How hard can it be? It's just sex. I'm good at sex. I'm great at sex.*

*Con: That's not the same thing and you know it.*

He looked at himself in the mirror again. His face was still flushed, his pupils still blown. The bite mark on his neck stood out like a brand.

*What would sixteen-year-old me think about this?*

*Sixteen-year-old me would probably pass out. Sixteen-year-old me thought kissing was basically the pinnacle of human achievement. Sixteen-year-old me would look at this situation and have a fucking aneurysm.*

*But I'm not sixteen anymore.*

*I'm twenty-six. I'm a pro hero. I've saved lives. I've fought villains. I've done things that would have terrified my younger self.*

*And right now, there's a woman in the other room who wants me. Who looked at me and decided I was worth wanting. Who bit my neck and told me she likes it when I bite back.*

*And her boyfriend—my friend—is completely okay with it. More than okay. He suggested it.*

His phone buzzed again.

**Kaminari:** bakugo

**Kaminari:** BAKUGO

**Kaminari:** are you still there

**Kaminari:** did you pass out

**Kaminari:** did you die

**Sero:** if you died we need to know

**Sero:** so we can call dibs on your hero ranking

**Kirishima:** guys hes probably just thinking

**Kaminari:** thinking about what

**Kaminari:** the answer is obvious

**Kaminari:** DO IT

**Sero:** DO IT DO IT DO IT

**Kirishima:** or dont

**Kirishima:** im cool either way

**Kirishima:** totally cool

**Kirishima:** not hoping for anything specific

**Kaminari:** KIRISHIMA SHUT UP

**Sero:** youre not getting the threesome kirishima

**Sero:** bakugos gonna do it

**Sero:** i can feel it

**Kaminari:** yeah bakugos not a coward

**Kaminari:** bakugos a HERO

**Kaminari:** heroes dont turn down threesomes

**Sero:** thats not in the hero code but it should be

Bakugo typed out a response.

**Bakugo:** im not dead

**Bakugo:** im thinking

**Kaminari:** THINKING ABOUT WHAT

**Kaminari:** JUST SAY YES

**Sero:** what is there to think about

**Sero:** you saw the pictures

**Sero:** WE saw the pictures

**Sero:** that woman is a GODDESS

**Kirishima:** i mean

**Kirishima:** its a big decision

**Kirishima:** he should think about it

**Kirishima:** take his time

**Kirishima:** maybe sleep on it

**Kaminari:** KIRISHIMA I SWEAR TO GOD

**Sero:** if you dont stop trying to sabotage this

**Sero:** i will personally make sure you never get a threesome

**Sero:** EVER

**Sero:** ill cockblock you for the rest of your life

**Kirishima:** thats not even possible

**Sero:** WATCH ME

*Pro: If I say no, Kirishima gets called next. And that's unacceptable on principle.*

*Con: That's a terrible reason to have a threesome.*

*Pro: But it's also a great reason. Spite is a powerful motivator.*

*Pro: I want this. I actually want this. Not because my friends are telling me to. Not because I'm trying to beat Kirishima. But because Sarah is incredible and Todoroki trusts me and this is something I've never done before and maybe... maybe it's okay to want new experiences.*

*Con: What if it's awkward?*

*Pro: What if it's not?*

*Pro: What if it's amazing?*

He looked at himself in the mirror one more time. At the bite mark. At his flushed face. At the evidence of what had already happened in the kitchen.

*Fuck it.*

**Bakugo:** im doing it

The response was instantaneous.

**Kaminari:** YES

**Sero:** YES YES YES

**Kaminari:** I KNEW IT

**Kaminari:** I KNEW YOU WOULDNT LET US DOWN

**Sero:** THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

**Kirishima:** ...fuck

**Kaminari:** HAHAHAHA

**Kaminari:** KIRISHIMA LOSES

**Sero:** KIRISHIMA LOSES

**Sero:** THIS IS WHAT YOU GET

**Sero:** FOR TRYING TO STEAL THE THREESOME

**Kirishima:** i wasnt trying to steal it

**Kirishima:** i was just

**Kirishima:** being strategic

**Kaminari:** you were being a SNAKE

**Sero:** a sneaky snake

**Sero:** a threesome-stealing snake

**Kirishima:** im happy for you bakugo

**Kirishima:** really

**Kirishima:** very happy

**Kirishima:** so happy

**Kaminari:** you dont sound happy

**Kirishima:** IM HAPPY

**Sero:** bakugo we need updates

**Sero:** DETAILED updates

**Sero:** we need to know everything

**Kaminari:** for research purposes

**Sero:** very important research

**Kaminari:** also so we can tell kirishima what he missed

**Kirishima:** I HATE YOU ALL

**Bakugo:** im muting this chat now

**Kaminari:** WAIT

**Kaminari:** one more thing

**Bakugo:** what

**Kaminari:** the couch position

**Kaminari:** seriously consider the couch position

**Kaminari:** its a classic for a reason

**Sero:** and the counter

**Sero:** kitchen counter is very sexy

**Sero:** very spontaneous

**Kaminari:** and remember

**Kaminari:** eye contact with todoroki

**Kaminari:** assert dominance

**Sero:** but dont pee on his couch

**Sero:** i was joking about that

**Kaminari:** were you though

**Sero:** ...mostly joking

**Bakugo:** goodbye

**Kaminari:** MAKE US PROUD

**Sero:** LIVE THE DREAM

**Kirishima:** have fun i guess

**Kirishima:** asshole

**Kaminari:** KIRISHIMA IS SO MAD

**Sero:** THE MADDEST

**Kirishima:** IM NOT MAD

**Kaminari:** YOU SOUND MAD

**Kirishima:** IM FINE