#cellarspider

Drake:  because his gestation pod landed on a planet that had gone through a nuclear holocaust and reduced the survivors to a nomadic tribal state

and then they go and adopt an infant that grows TO THE SIZE OF A THREE YEAR OLD AFTER THREE WEEKS

Games Workshop, do you have any idea how much a NORMAL baby eats???

how did these people feed him????

Gallus:  I assume he absorbed carbon drectly from the air

like a tree

Sanguinus is actually a very amiable root vegetable

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Drake:  it sounds like Sanguinius spent his formative years in a Ray Harryhausen movie

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Drake: he was ridiculously pretty

Gallus:  Sanguinus has that Radiant Glow becuase he's Radioactive

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Gallus:  Oh yeah that's the guy you put on the Imperium posters

fabio-ass looking disney princess on steroids

that pic is like "And this is my pet...  Deer?  i called him bambi at any rate."

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Gallus:  Sanguinus also is the forst primarch i've seen so far that looks like he'd get pegged

Drake:  it's the visible lack of stick already occupying the necessary space

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Gallus:  Roubotte has no strong moral objections to pegging but doesn't think he'd enjoy it

Nobody ever explained Pegging to Lion and nobody wants to try

Sanguinus tho

He looks like he'd bend over a ridiculously ornate table at the slightes provication

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[I disparaged Rowboat’s sex appeal.]

Gallus:  Roubotte's boring but has a nice jawline and is otherwise perfectly fuckable he might start babbling about like, civic pettion procees when he gets close but given that the other pary would be having most of thier internal organs rearranged that might not matter

Drake:  yeah but who's going to dare to get between him and his paperwork long enough to get his dick hard??

Gallus:  you START with under-the-desk blowjobs and eventually there will be a gap in the paperwork while he waits for his less-effieicnet colleagues to get back to him and THEN you jump him

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Gallus:  Office Sex is 110% Roubotte's kink

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Gallus:  If Sanguinous didn't have wings he'd have a giant eagle to fly him places like the kid from rescuers down under but Eagles are hard To Draw, so they gave him wings instead

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Spider:  "Sanguinus also is the forst primarch i've seen so far that looks like he'd get pegged" pre-heresy Fulgrim is also pretty high on the list

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Gallus:  Pre-heresy Fulgrim actually looks like He'd talk a big game about being down to be pegged but he's so wrapped up in himself that he'd accidentally see his reflection somewhere, come imeediately and pass out

He's a white-haired anime boy there's like.  2 of those that are remotely romanitically functional and somebody that hangs a sapient sword by his crotch isn't one of them

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Drake:  you may not remember but Fulgrim was the OTHER primarch with Actual Administrative Experience who fell to Chaos and turned into a scaley

Gallus:  SCALIE FULGRIM FUCKS THO

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Drake:  he and Ferrus were so cute though

they made each other matching friendship weapons

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Drake:  and then Fulgrim got all butthurt because Ferrus refused to do drugs turn to Chaos with him

so he cut Ferrus's head off

and THEN freaked out and let his evil fuckhead sword possess his body for a few years

Gallus:  SpaceMurderHeroin is bad kids

Drake:  because trapping yourself in a painting on your own flagship is definitely a mature reaction to familicide

Gallus: wait

he Dorian gray'd himself over this?

Drake: yes

Drake:  somebody should give Nurgle the idea to recreate the Crimson Heads from the RE1 remake

you think you just took down a plague trooper! but nope, a bigger, MEANER one is going to spring out of his chest and bit your head off!

Spider:  oh noooo :D;;

Drake:  oh yeeeeeeees

maybe Mortarion could upgrade his marines that way XD

give them all a second lease on unlife

Spider:  Time to bust out every single match in your inventory

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Drake: Mister Daddy strikes me as more of a Slaanesh thing, on the other hand :3c

Spider:  Well with the way the mods have made him, yeah XD

Drake:  you mean the way they've IMPROVED him! :D

Spider:  I'm still fond of trench coats and nice hats tho XD

But Speedos are also pretty good XD

Drake:  they should make a mod that has him in the trenchcoat and nice hat to start off with

and then juuuuust before he starts chasing you he takes a minute to rip off his trenchcoat

AND THEN IT'S SPEEDO TIME

DON'T RUN FROM DADDY, HE JUST WANTS TO HUG YOUUUUUUU

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Spider:  Thing is, the mod replaces no animations or the like, and only replaces one model of Mister Daddy, so 1. when he dies in Claire's run, he suddenly grows a trenchcoat as G-Birkin is ripping a hole through him 2. in Leon's run when he goes into Super Tyrant mode, he's wearing pants and the trenchcoat belted around his waist

the latter of which Helloween is very disappointed by

lamenting that he put on clothes for the final showdown

Drake:  we hurt his feelings!

Spider:  He does seem significantly more PO'ed in that fight XD

Drake:  NAUGHTY BOYS GONNA GET SPANKED

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