#catsarereckless

***

“This is your fault.” Peter said from where he hung upside-down from the ceiling.

“My fault?” Wade protested. “How is this my fault? They’re your webs.”

“You shouldn’t have been messing with my web shooters.”

“And you shouldn’t have made them so breakable.”

“You should pay more attention to what you’re doing.”

“You should make more noise. Walking around all silent-like, you’ll freak somebody out. Something awful could happen.”

“What like walking into your apartment while someone blows open your web shooters and gets you stuck to the ceiling?” Peter wiggled in his, for lack of a better word, cocoon.

“Exactly like that.”

“I hate you.”

“Sure you do.”

Peter continued trying to wiggle free and said nothing until Wade piped up again. “You know that’s not gonna work.”

“I’m not talking to you.”

“You just did.”

“Well I’m not going to.”

“Starting when?”

“Now.”

“Okay. Keep me updated on how that’s working out for you.” The room fell silent again save for Peter’s grunts and occasional curses. “Pete?” No response. “Peter, my baby, my darling, my sweet, red-and-blue eight-legged light of my-”

“What do you want?”

“My leg is cramping.”

“And who’s fault is that?”

“Yours, we’ve been over this.”

“Why are you always such a pain?”

“It’s part of my charm.”

“You’re the worst.”

“True.”

Again Peter attempted to worm his way out of the webs for a few minutes before giving up very suddenly and asking, “Why were you in my apartment in the first place?”

“Mine hosted a firefight. Nasty thing, lost one of the bullets somewhere in my lungs, I can still feel it rattling-”

“Please stop.”

“-around in there. Whole thing was shot to hell and they weren’t even gone-”

“Is this going anywhere?”

“-so the firefight turned into an explosion and point is my apartment is scattered across three blocks.”

“So you need a place to stay?”

“Yes.”

“For how long?” Peter hung his head. Why did he have to be a good person?

“Indefinitely.”

“You have got to be-”

“I’ll pay rent!”

“Yeah, fine, whatever.” The conversation dropped again.