#catnip987

It hasn’t ! I’m into this! Okay, let’s see

Idk if this is a kink necessarily but he really, really likes it when you bathe with him and like, wash his hair for him and stuff. (I actually have a prompt sitting in my inbox still abt this)

If you can kick his ass he’s into you. Like, seriously. If you’re sparring or training with him and you knock him down, he probably immediately pops a boner

Almost definitely has a breeding kink

In a different time, perhaps, he’d probably Very Much Like It if you bought some skimpy little lacy thing and let him cut it off of you.

In that same vein; knife play. He wouldn’t like, cut you or anything, but the threat of it, just gently dragging it over your body? yeah

Fight This Man For Dominance Tho

He’s a switch . Like he comes off as a very dominant person, of course, but he’s a switch. Just gotta win dominance in one way or another

Praise Kink. Please tell him how big n strong he is and how good he is at rearranging your guts

Can and will go down on you for hours for no reason other than he wants to

Y’know what? Tovar says bush rights. Leave your body hair alone, he likes it as it is

I just know he’s a tits man. Give him a boobjob he’ll just. die.

biting. lots of biting

I’d be willing to bet he’d like it if you called him sir

Breathplay; probably likes to look at the marks on your neck from his fingers

Oh that reminds me; leaving hickeys and bite marks on you? Yeah.

((Deep breath... alright, guys, it’s happening. I am... not as of yet bringing in Ellaria because I don’t have NEARLY as good a hold on her other than “big heart eyes @ oberyn” and that’s not particularly interesting. So uh... yeah. Chaos +2. Also: I am going to reopen the ask box once I have this posted!))

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Things are going as they usually do. Some rerun of a basketball game is playing on the TV, the boys are absorbed in their own things, be it a phone or a book or the game (Din is trying to figure out the rules of basketball, which is no easy feat with absolutely no context). The kid’s down for a nap. It’s pretty quiet, these five (or six, you know, details) have learned to get along pretty well. Still some bickering over leaving dishes in the sink and who’s supposed to take the trash out, but that’s just… how it is living with other people. It’s still a little chaotic, honestly, but it’s handleable.

Then there’s a knock at the door and the lock clicks open.

“Hey guys, you’re never gonna believe who I found,” the purveyor of this fantastic experiment, Tori, shouts into the house. Immediately, the five of them exchange worried glances. Oh, god, another one? They can’t be serious. Five plus the baby is enough.

“Well, who found me, I guess,” they mumble, walking further into the house with…

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Javier says, clearly even more surprised and concerned than he was.

“Two?” Max asks incredulously.

One’s clearly more interested to be here than the other. The darker haired of the two is looking around curiously, maybe even a little confused. The other, the blond, looks irritated beyond belief. Daggers in his eyes everywhere he looks, his face in a severe scowl.

“Well, folks, allow me to introduce you to Oberyn Martell,” they say, gesturing to him, smiling genuinely, “and Maxwell Lord.” The smile falters in genuineness.

“Maxwell? Well that’s gonna get confusing,” Jack says, eyes flicking between him and Max Phillips.

“It won’t because I refuse to participate in this,” Maxwell snaps. Jack makes a surprised, mildly amused face back.

“Bless your heart,” he responds.

“This is going to be rather interesting, I think,” Oberyn says, countering Maxwell’s outlook. He’s eyeing the group of men with great interest, a winning smile, and a look in his eyes the boys can’t quite pin down. “Pleasure to meet all of you.”

“I’m gonna show them their rooms, then I’ll leave y’all to it,” Tori says. The three disappear up the stairs, and various sighs come from the five men, Javier burying his face in his hands, Jack taking off his hat to run his hand through his hair… Ezra looking vaguely amused. Max is still just surprised, and Din of course is unreadable as usual.

“It’s fine. It’s fine! We’ve learned to live with each other in just a couple short weeks, what’s two more bodies, right?” Max tries to encourage the group, but mostly himself.

“I’m somewhat familiar with Oberyn but who’s this Maxwell guy?” Jack asks.

“He looks like a rich asshole,” Javi mumbles.

A few minutes pass and only two people come down the stairs; Oberyn and Tori.

“Alright, so, Maxwell’s locked himself in his room and is pretty much acting like a child,” Tori explains. “He’s gotta come down to eat, so you’ll probably see him then. Try to be nice to him even if he doesn’t give you much reason to. He’s… not thrilled to be trapped here and if I’m being honest I’m not thrilled he materialized here. Anyway, y’all just… get along, you know my number if you need anything. Oberyn, don’t kill anyone or injure them.”

“And they both know the… situation?” Max asks.

They nod. “Yeah. Maxwell is not going to be talkative but… god willing he’ll get used to it and open up a little bit.”

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. That’s a good question. And I might not be the best person to ask bc I am decidedly biased against having a boyfriend or husband but sdkjfgsdkljgh ANYWAY let’s give it our best shot shall we?

We’ll talk about my usual 5 and a few others !

Din - 10/10 best boyfriend/husband material ever. Soft, cares a lot, will defend you to the death, Dad Energy. Downside, however, is that he’s bad at taking care of himself and I promise you he has no idea how to do laundry and can’t cook. As long as you can put up with that though? no problemo

Ezra - Fantastic boyfriend material, but you gotta be In It For A Long Time in order to find out how husband material he is. He’s not averse to commitment, exactly, but he knows the universe well enough to know not to take anyone, even the people he loves most, for granted. That being said, though, he’s fiercely protective, great in bed, has a voice you could listen to for days, and will take you to his favorite places in the universe

Javi - honestly? he has potential to be husband material, but you gotta really MAKE him husband material. Excellent boyfriend material though, especially if you like Edgy(tm) guys. But you gotta put up with the fact that he’s got some Trauma and isn’t gonna open up about it so there are times where he’s kinda emotionally unavailable. But sex is never disappointing!

Whiskey - literally the definition of husband material. Also has Dad Energy. best fuck of your life, kinkier than expected, knows how to cook, pays for everything, you will want for nothing, loves you so much it hurts, flowers randomly just because. Marry him immediately.

Max Phillips - eh. probably a better hook up than actual committed boyfriend or husband material. You either have to turn or face the fact he’s going to watch you get old and die. Also kind of a jerk? but like. he does have a softer side, you just gotta dig for it. If you do turn, though, you gotta realize you’re stuck with him FOREVER.

Maxwell Lord - if you’re trying to be a trophy spouse, great husband material. He’ll buy you whatever you want. Pretty intense in bed. But, he’s very busy all the time so you gotta be ready to just not see him as much as you’d probably like.

Tovar - EXTREMELY good husband material. Also fiercely protective, will throw down if anyone hurts you or picks on you or anything, but no one bothers you because your man has a SCAR ON HIS EYE. The accent? Hell yeah. rearranges your guts on the regular, puts food on the table, and while he’s not great at speaking his affections, his love language is loud and clear and you KNOW he loves you.

Oberyn - are you kidding? he may be more the definition of bf/husband material than Jack is now that I think about it. Granted you have to be willing to share sometimes. otherwise, do I really need to explain?

Frankie - he’s made of boyfriend/husband material. he’s soft and he loves you and he wants you to be happy. he’ll do anything for you, and he shows it any way he can. if you like being outside a lot, he’s the man for you!

D*ve Y*rk - no. don’t.

Thank u catnip!!!!!!!!! SO a long ass time ago I did a rundown of what Javi’s like as a dad, and I still stand by what I said in that post, but, let’s do Tovar!!

So first of all, Tovar is also terrified to be a dad. He’s terrified he got someone pregnant, he’s terrified of the commitment that comes with that, but he’s not gonna disappear like other men in his position have historically been guilty of.

He is EXTREMELY protective. If it’s not you or him holding the baby, he’s more tense than you’ve ever seen him, and he will murder anyone who dares hurt that kid.

That being said, he’s a strong, rough, Big Dude, and he’s... nervous to hold the baby the first time. Scared he’ll hurt them, somehow, they’re so tiny and soft and fragile, and it’s part of his job to take life, not bring it into the world, so he’s not even sure how to approach this.

But, he takes the little one in his arms, taking direction from you or the midwives or whoever is there helping, supporting their head and then he just. He cries. He’s a weepy mess, whispering promises to his child of how he’s going to protect them and support them and do everything in his power to ensure they have a good childhood.

When the kid starts crying, he FREAKS OUT because he’s sure he did something wrong, but really the baby’s just tired, or hungry, or wants their mom.

Tovar isn’t one to use motherese (or. fatherese as the case may be). So you catch him having like, full blown one-sided adult conversations with this infant. You leave them alone together for a few minutes and come back and Tovar’s trying to explain the proper way to sharpen one of his swords, and you think it’s the most charming thing ever, honestly.

No matter the gender of the child, that kid’s going to know how to defend themself. Tovar’s going to start teaching them how to fight the second they’re old enough to hold a sword.

But god forbid you hurt that kid or do them wrong at any point. Tovar will fuck you up and teach you a lesson you won’t soon forget.

That being said, Tovar is going to push for this child to have a high quality education; he doesn’t want them following in his footsteps and being a sellsword or worse to make ends meet. It’s dangerous, and he doesn’t want his own child falling victim to any of the numerous ways he’s almost met his demise.