Ask The Boys!

Be cool

C’mon

Nice

Please be patient with responses. You guys have been awesome with that kind of thing so far, and I can’t thank you enough for that, but still, I feel obligated to remind you. I’m working on many, many other things at the moment; I work, I’m in school, and I write normal fic on top of that. I’m pretty busy!

That being said, if you want to check to see if an ask went through or something, you can always send in a follow up ask, message this blog, or send me a message over at @max--phillips. I’ll be more than happy to let you know if your ask came through!

If you’re interested in RPing with one (or more) of the boys, that’s fine, but I ask we keep anything too explicit to DMs, and if the thread is getting to be a million posts long, we move into DMs to keep a monster post off of people’s dashboards.

Also with RPing; I am terrible about forgetting to reply, so if it’s been a minute, just give me a nudge. I promise I’m not ignoring you, I probably just looked at the message while I was busy, which cleared the notification, and then promptly forgot about it.

I will not be answering any asks in character regarding current events involving the protests surrounding the BLM movement or similar. I’m happy to have them talk about some political topics, particularly if they’re positive, and the current pandemic, but the protests are off limits. If I see an ask regarding that kind of thing, or it’s a topic that I’m not comfortable talking about in character, if you sent it in off anon I’ll probably shoot you a message. Otherwise, I’ll probably just delete it.

Finally: As I answer more and more questions, please take a moment to search for a keyword or two in your question on the blog to see if it’s been answered before. If you can’t find anything, please send it in. If it’s an ask that’s already been sent in but was before one of the three most recent additions was brought onboard, you can send it in, and I’ll answer for them.

“No,” Maxwell says.

“I may be able to navigate it decently in an emergency situation,” Ezra answers. “I’m by no means an expert, but it has occasionally come up in field medicine training for various companies I’ve worked for.”

“While I have seen many farm animals give birth, I would be far less comfortable helping a woman,” Tovar says. “I’ve heard some of the things those women say while in the act. A mare or a cow can’t speak. They can all break my bones if they deem it necessary, however.”

“And that’s where I come in,” Max adds. “I’m a great stress ball. You can’t break my bones. And you can hit me if you need to. As for the actual like, getting the baby out? Not gonna be particularly helpful there.”

“Y’know, I’ve actually had to help with one before, and I did... okay, I think,” Javi says. “It was at one of the brothels. Not sure why she was there so late in her pregnancy, but it was what it was. Thankfully one of the other girls seemed to know what she was doing. Far as I know they’re both still doing well.”

“Birth is extremely important to us,” Din says. “I can definitely help with one.”

“I’m much better at taking life out of this world,” Oberyn confesses.

“Eh, I could figure it out,” Jack says, almost a little arrogantly. “It’s all the same process. Just... smaller.”

“I’m not going to lie I just buck up and buy stuff that’s actually made for blood stains, those laundry pre-treatments,” Max explains. “I just get enough blood on my clothes that it’s worth it.”

“Cold water, peroxide, and baking soda,” Jack suggests. “And try to get it while it’s fresh, if at all possible.”

“I’ve heard lemon juice can also work in lieu of peroxide,” Javi says.

The room is silent for a moment before none other than Max jumps out at you with a very over-dramatic “aha!” He immediately straightens up and laughs a little.

The entire room startles, but is quickly smoothed over by the fact there are cookies. Everyone thanks you and starts eating theirs, and the kid particularly seems to be enjoying his.

“These are amazing,” Javi comments.

“Yeah, I’m gonna need that recipe,” Jack tells you.

“Interesting creatures indeed,” Ezra observes. “Doesn’t seem like they blend in well with their surroundings. Nonetheless, congratulations on your new employment.”

“You know where to come if you need any advice,” Maxwell says. “I hope the move wasn’t too stressful for you.”

“Well done,” Tovar says shortly, though you can tell he means it.

“Cyar’ika, I’m sure the kid will love anything you have to give to him,” Din assures you. Meanwhile, Grogu grabs for your phone and ogles at the little creature for a while. He definitely seems interested in it.

“Congrats,” Javi says. “I hope it works out for you in the long run.”

“And hey, if anyone bothers you at your new job, you know who to call,” Jack adds. “Those are weird little fellas, though, huh?”

“They look more suited for somewhere it snows all the time,” Oberyn says.

“I have no idea what that means,” Javi answers.

“Well, I’m still here, so,” Maxwell responds. “But it certainly could be worse.”

“This place and these words you use confuse me,” Tovar says, grumpily as always.

“I’m well, better now that the weather is attempting to cool off just a bit,” Ezra replies. “And yourself?”

“The types of wine your people have devised are impressive and delicious,” Oberyn says. He has a half-consumed glass of some kind of white wine in his hand right now. It’s noon.

“Well, I’m certainly not bored,” Din says, taking his attention from the kid who is currently playing with some toys on the floor.

“I could think of some things that could use a good vibin’,” Jack says with a smirk.

Grogu is, of course, psyched out of his little green mind to have this sugary snack that also looks like him. Din takes the extra two suckers and puts them in a pouch so the kid doesn’t eat all 3 all at once.

“Thank you,” he says, and there’s just a hint of amusement in his voice. He looks at the one of him for a bit, fiddling with the opening mechanism.

(These all happen simultaneously for the sake of this being extremely funny)

Oberyn takes one of the alcoholic ones and attempts to drink through the straw, and immediately looks incredibly disappointed. However, once everyone figures out what’s going on, he happily eats the jello with a spoon. “Despite the initial disappointment this is quite delightful.”

Maxwell looks distrustful and moves the straw, then gives you a look as he figures out that it’s jello. Then he looks back at the jello. “Well. I haven’t had jello shots since I was in college.”

Max knows something is awry immediately because he, too, is fond of pranking the men he lives with. “This doesn’t also have, like, laxatives in it, does it?”

Javi is also somewhat disappointed when he can’t drink it with the straw. He looks confused, then a look of realization crosses his face. “Jesus, it’s the first, isn’t it?”

Jack doesn’t take one and squints playfully. “The straws ain’t movin’,” he observes. “Good try. But I will take some, regardless.”

Tovar is absolutely mystified by this gelatin stuff. He’s quiet as he just sort of plays with it, watching it jiggle.

Ezra falls for it, too, and chuckles as he realizes what’s going on. “Very well done.”

Din takes your hands without question, holding them tightly.

Max begins snickering at your comment, then begins straight up laughing. “Oh come on, let the record show I’ve been a hell of a lot more than pegged.”

“I actually have, not by choice,” Ezra answers. “I don’t think I’d do it again. Didn’t really suit me.”

“I don’t think that would work well for me under the helmet,” Din responds.

“It’s nearly an inevitability depending on the job I’m taking on,” Tovar says.

“I don’t think that would look particularly good on me,” Maxwell answers.

“I did when I was a boy,” Oberyn replies. “I don’t think I would do it by choice now, however.”

Jack shakes his head. “Don’t think that’d be the look for me.”

Max shrugs. “Who knows. I got all of eternity to do whatever I want.”

“Pretty?” Tovar asks. “You may be thinking of the wrong person. People.”

“No need to be nervous,” Jack says with a grin. “Hi is perfectly nice. How are you?”

“I believe the phrase is, ‘it takes one to know one,’ Lola,” Ezra tells you. “You must be pretty as well, then.”

“I promise you, none of these losers should make you nervous,” Maxwell says lightheartedly.

“Hi,” Din offers.

“Don’t get down on yourself,” Javi says. “For once I agree with Maxwell.”

“I dunno, a bounty hunter, a vampire, whatever Jack has going on, a trained fighter?” Max starts. “There’s a lot of intimidating energy in here.” He winks at you.

“Definitely disturbed. Are you alright?” Max asks.

“I know exactly what you’re talking about regarding the food thing,” Ezra says. “I’ve spent who knows how many outings surviving on only ration bars.”

“Are you at least puttin’ different sauce on the spaghetti?” Jack asks.

“That’s a terrible mental image,” Maxwell says.

Javi, Tovar and Din seem to look at each other in concern.

“That is certainly one thing that I have noticed. Many things have been changed drastically over time,” Tovar says. Max whips out his phone and starts pulling stuff up there. “Some things you all believe now are downright wrong.”

A few minutes pass as Max plays some of the music, and both Tovar and Oberyn seem interested.

“This is... much more familiar to me,” Tovar says.

Maxwell pokes through your collection of chocolate before taking the absolute darkest you have. Why he chooses to torture himself in this way, the world may never understand. He mumbles a thank you as he steps away to enjoy (?) it.

“The kid, huh?” Jack teases. “Thank you much, darlin’.”

Oberyn is immediately shoving fruit in his mouth, but he’s eyeing the chocolates like he’ll pounce on it at any moment.

“The one good thing about this holiday is the chocolate, honestly,” Javi says. “Too much fanfare I guess.”

“A little bit?” Tovar scoffs. “This is... definitely a departure.” He also takes some chocolate.

Ezra also takes a few pieces of chocolate, saying thanks. “I’m not sure what we would do without you bringing us treats like this so regularly.”

Max has already eaten like, three milk chocolates and as a couple strawberries in hand. “Y’know, you should get some chocolate dipped strawberries and do that thing with Din. You know what I’m talking about.” He winks suggestively.