#campari

Matteo Thun for Campari

Boulevardier !

1.5 oz. bourbon or rye whiskey

1 oz. Campari

1 oz. sweet vermouth

Add ingredients to a rock glass with ice. Stir for 10 seconds if the ice is small, 30 seconds if one big cube and somewhere between if ice is somewhere between. Garnish with an orange peel.

I wouldn't know if that makes the mortal stepmother, but I do know the angels would be surprised

(fem reader)

---

The grand celestial hall glows with soft blue light. The twelve angels appear one by one in flashes of divine aura, assembling before their father. They bow respectfully, though a few of them are already whispering and glancing around.

Whis: Oh my, Father, a full family meeting! That’s rare. Did Grand Zeno ask for something special again?

Vados: Or perhaps someone has finally broken one of Father’s impossibly strict rules.

Marcarita: Ooh, drama! I love family drama.

Korn: Silence. If Father has summoned us, it must be for a reason of utmost importance.

The Grand Priest floats forward, serene and unreadable as ever. His staff glows faintly.

Grand Priest: My beloved children… I have called you here to share something… rather personal.

The angels exchange surprised looks. “Personal” is not a word they hear from him often.

Cognac: Personal? Father, are we… in trouble?

Grand Priest: No, no. Quite the opposite. It is… a matter of the heart.

Awamo’s eyebrows rise. Vados covers her mouth, already trying not to laugh. Whis perks up like someone just offered him pudding.

Whis: A matter of the heart, you say? How intriguing~

Vados: Don’t tell me, Father… you’ve fallen in love?

Silence. Then the Grand Priest closes his eyes and smiles ever so slightly.

Grand Priest: Indeed.

Instant explosion of reactions, overlapping voices echo through the halls.

WHAT?!

Instantly tries to rationalize it: “Ah, yes, perhaps this is a test of divine tolerance and emotional expansion.”

Secretly takes notes on mortal flirting customs to “better understand Father’s method.”

Overanalyzes everything: “Was the way he smiled a technique or mere affection?”

Pretends he doesn’t care, but absolutely gossips about it with Helles.

“Imagine the Grand Priest with someone… common. How dreadfully romantic.”

Later claims to have “always seen it coming” when he’s shocked like everyone else.

Tries to explain it scientifically. “It’s an experiment in interdimensional emotional exchange. Clearly.”

Then gets defensive: “No, I’m not jealous! I simply question the logic!”

Might secretly program a simulation of “mortal romance” to study it.

Acts overly dramatic about it: “This is so scandalous, I love it!”

Wants to meet her immediately and pepper her with invasive questions.

Probably tries to organize a “family dinner” so he can gossip for centuries.

Takes it as a personal crisis of decorum. “Our father? With a mortal?!”

Pours himself a drink and mutters, “At least he’s finally getting out more.”

Ends up low-key rooting for them because he likes the drama.

Laughs about it for three hours straight before saying, “Oh, Father… I knew you had a type!”

Immediately teases Whis: “You realize this makes her our stepmother, right?”

Secretly finds it sweet and keeps sending the mortal little gifts from Universe 6.

Absolutely unbothered and delighted: “How fascinating! Father found love!”

Brings the other planets' desserts to “see what she thinks.”

Constantly jokes, “Mother says hi~” whenever someone mentions the Grand Priest.

Might actually officiate their wedding if it happens, just for fun.

Complete shock. “Father… dating? That is… highly irregular.”

Takes three full minutes to process it, eyes twitching slightly.

Then just sighs, “If he is happy, then… I suppose it’s okay.”

Secretly watches them interact in total disbelief.

Tilts his head, smiles creepily: “Oh? Father’s exploring mortality? How… poetic.”

Analyzes her behavior like she’s a lab rat: “Let’s see how long the mortal lasts.”

Might low-key admire her for surviving all the attention.

Makes uncomfortable comments like, “Love is such a fragile construct, isn’t it?”

The most adorable and supportive one. “Awww! That’s so cute! I’m happy for Father!”

Tries to make the mortal feel comfortable: “Don’t worry, we’re mostly nice.”

Bakes little celestial sweets for them both.

Probably the first to call her “mom” unironically, confusing everyone.

Loses her mind with excitement. “O-M-G, Father’s in love?!? That’s so iconic!”

Posts about it in god-tube :D

Tries to give the mortal a makeover: “If you’re dating Him, you need style.”

Refers to the couple as “the power couple.”

Responds calmly but is secretly nosy: “I’ll need to analyze this timeline.”

Composes a ballad about their romance that becomes a celestial hit.

Pretends it’s purely for “historical record,” but it’s suspiciously romantic.

Ends up genuinely touched by the whole thing.

Completely calm while the multiverse loses its mind.

“Oh? Is it so strange to enjoy companionship?”

Treats the chaos among his children as mild entertainment.

Probably laughs when Whis and Vados start matchmaking jokes.

Masterpost

DBS Masterlist