#cake memes

Tony: FRIDAY, what time is it?

FRIDAY: It's 2:24 AM. Peter Parker just crashed outside the corridor.

Tony stood up, pushing the stool to the floor, frantically leaving his worktable to check the corridor.

Tony: Why did he crash what happened where is he

FRIDAY: He's 4 feet away from your door.

Tony: Turn on the corridor lights, please.

Tony opened the door and saw Peter, leaning on the wall, his right hand pressed to his left side. Tony let out a horrified moan when he saw Peter's bruised and cut face.

Peter smiled and coughed.

Peter: Hi Mr. Stark!

Tony approached Peter and sunk into his knees, cupping the boy's face.

Tony: Don't do that Jesus Christ FRIDAY what are the damages

FRIDAY: A mild concussion-

Tony: whAT THE FUCK

FRIDAY: -15 blunt force trauma-

Tony: KID JESUS CHRIST

Peter: Mr. Stark I'm fine

Tony, already heaving this time: no you're not jesus fucking christ

FRIDAY: -a 3-inch stab wound to his left side. That's all.

Tony: a STAB WOUND?!

FRIDAY: Should I now call medical help?

Tony picked up the kid bridal style and scurried along the corridor.

Tony: Yes please.

FRIDAY: Ok, boss. EMT arriving in 5 minutes.

Tony, to Peter: For the everloving fuck kid, what the fuck did you get yourself into?!

Peter: I just stopped a robbery, Mr. Stark. And I realized something.

Tony flipped his head to Peter, panic drawn all over his face.

Tony: what?!

Peter: I'm not made of cake.