*clay golem grabs Orym and chucks him at Imogen*
Travis: "YOU ARE UNHINGED TODAY, MATTHEW!!! TAX SEASON IS DANGEROUS!!!"

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*clay golem grabs Orym and chucks him at Imogen*
Travis: "YOU ARE UNHINGED TODAY, MATTHEW!!! TAX SEASON IS DANGEROUS!!!"

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Jiana has two hands and two extremely unprofessional relationships to have with both Imogen and Ashton
yes she does and they like it.
C3E21 Abridged - Art by ellinainthesky, @azraelion and @shmaba
Picking up CR Abridged where I left off. Watching C3E21 ("Fight at the Museum") and I can't help but wonder, from the perspective of C3E117:
What rock that little shit Evon Hytroga has crawled under since we last saw him on the moon?
What's the status of the Grim Verity? If Bell's Hells survives, can they find the group's survivors and tell them what they learned about Ruidus?
Will we ever see the members of The Verdict again? Imogen repeatedly triggering the traps to light them on fire is still among the funniest shit from Campaign 3. Plus I love how BH's insisted on healing them afterwards when they were no longer a threat.
Is Roe Estani okay? Is he watching everything going on right now through his telescope?
What about Ebenold Kai, is she okay after Ludinus feebleminded her?
What's Jiana Hexum up to? Is she on the moon with the Ruby Vanguard like Hytroga, or was she only being used by the group and is now perhaps dealing with the chaos in Jrusar?
Also, I really miss FCG.
Transcript:
[Forsaken plays in the background, slowly and ominously building.] Glen (Murph), voice echoing: Not so fast, Calliope! I'd hate for something to happen-- to you. Callie (Emily): To me? You told me that if I listened to you, I would realize how wrong I'd been. Glen: Right. I admit: My feelings for you. My reasons for wanting the egg. My name. Where I was born. Everything. Everything I told you. All lies. I'm playing a part. It's been so many years, I don't even remember what my real voice sounds like. Even my comrades in the Emerald Scale, besides Venamol of course, don't know my true motives. They think we're inspiring a revolution to take the power for ourselves. But that's… that's not true. I just want war. Callie: Why do you want war? I've like-- I've always believed in your vision, but why this? Glen: I want all of the miserable factions of the Living Wood to kill each other. I want to see the High Princes and the Princesses peck and claw over each other's dead bodies as they try to crawl to the top. I've seen my comrades killed by Blues, Greens, Reds, Gold ones, all of them. Callie: You're a dragon. Glen, simply: I'm not a dragon. I'm a Crick Elf. [Caldwell inhales sharply.] Glen: We have the dragons. We have the power of the greatest druids and rangers in all of Bahumia. We could have taken the Living Wood, and instead we just hid away. The Void Elves wouldn't do it themselves, so I had to provoke it. War is coming to the Crick. They'll take the fall for the massacre at the summit, just like they would've taken the fall for the revolution. And when those fools invade, we will kill every last one of them. And the Crick Elves who doubted me, the old fools who believe in hospitality, even at the expense of their own lives, will be proven wrong. We'll kill the traitors who shamed our people, and rightfully become the invisible assassins that they fear us to be.

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Bells: *get locked in a room* Hey, you wanna see what the "Hells" in our name stands for?
idk about the rest of you but I’m personally fond of when Matt makes this kind of face
screenshot is from 1:50:32 of critical role campaign 3 episode 21
fcg's opinion that horses clearly don't have souls might be his funniest ever conspiracy theory