[Eldermourne Theme fades out]
Murph: WEL-come back to Eldermourne, everybody!
Emily, Jake, and Caldwell: Eldermourne!
Murph: I'm your dungeon master Brian Murphy joined by Jake Hurwitz!
Jake: The relationship with my son has gone south because I foot-- I put both feet in my mouth.
[Emily cackles. Caldwell joins her.]
Murph: And ya did it again!
Jake: Henry Hogfish!
Emily: Okay, this is, we need to tell them behind the scenes!
Jake: No.
Emily: We literally-- full disclosure, we--
Jake: No. No. No, don't tell them.
Emily: We recorded the intros-- we recorded the intros--
Jake: It's an embarrassing story for me and Caldwell.
[Caldwell laughs.]
Emily: And-- Murph, edit out Jake protesting.
Murph, immediately: Okay. [Emily laughs.] He's been silenced. He's been silenced.
Caldwell: I am absolved. This rules.
Emily: We were-- (laughing) We were recording the intro, and Caldwell realized that he hadn't been recording, so we had to re-record it. But in the original recording, Jake fucked up his rhyme, and he said "oh, good, now I can get my rhyme right."
[Everyone laughs.]
Caldwell: Nobody's mad at me anymore! It's so good!
Murph: Maybe I'll splice in the recording of Jake fucking up the first time. [Emily and Caldwell giggle.]
Jake: Wow, that's perfect.
Murph: So let's go ahead-- we're gonna go ahead and cut to Jake's first intro.
Jake: Okay.
Murph: Let's roll that.
[Emily cackles. The Eldermourne Theme fades in.]
Jake: Uh-- oh fuck, uh-- Relationship with my son has gone south, because I put both feet in my mouth-- I forgot it for a second.
[Theme fades out.]
Jake: Yeah, good on ya, Caldwell. [The others laugh.] This is not fair! Caldwell's huge fuck up was just shining a light on mine! That's not right!
Murph: That's true. That's true.
Caldwell: Jake texted me and said "hey, turn off your recording so that I get another shot at it, and I obliged him.
Murph: This is your dad forgetting to pick you up, and then you get mugged. This is Caldwell's mistake, and then you are really really suffering for it. [The others laughing.] Um-- Then, of course, we've got Emily Axford!
Emily: Living the dream and looking like Liam! Fia Boginya!
Murph: Emily, it's even better the second time, hearin' it.
Jake: That's fucked up.
Caldwell: Crisp, perfect.
Emily: Thank you, I didn't mess it up the first time, it's so good. Actually, why don't you go ahead and use whichever one I am better at, okay?
Murph: Okay. Two for two. Two for two.
Jake: Jesus christ.
Caldwell: Can I say my livin' la vida Liam joke again? Cause I thought that was fun. From the first one?
Murph: Sure. Um, y'know, as memorable as it was, I completely forgot it. [The others laugh.] Um, and of course, Caldwell Tanner!
Caldwell: Oh, Stella Vervain's special little guy who's getting swept up--
Jake: Don't fuck it up! Don't fuck it up! Don't fuck it up!
Caldwell: --in her sweet little lies, Zirk Vervain.
Emily: Oh my goodness.
[Everyone laughs.]
Caldwell: Yee-haw! Flawless dismount! All the judges love it.
Jake: Swing, batta batta batta batta!
Murph: Wow, two 2/2s and one 0/2. It's-- You'd think there'd be some deviation there, but… wow.
Jake: Caldwell didn't really get a 2/2. He didn't record.
Caldwell: Jake, you could just turn off your Zoom right now, and then we'd have to start recording again.
Jake: I need another shot.
Murph: This intro's way better than the other one, guys, I'm just saying! This is good. Maybe we should fuck up the show every time.
Emily: I honestly was barely paying attention, and then when Jake messed up again, I… could not stop laughing.
Murph, laughing: Why were you barely paying attention?? [Everyone laughs.]
Emily: I was looking at my spells!
Murph: Okay, alright, alright.
Caldwell: She's got a lot of spells!
Murph: She's got a lot of spells.
Emily: I have to remember what I can do.
Murph: Alright guys, let's go ahead and get into the recap.
