#but?

So, I figured this was a ‘bad faith take’ given what I know of Kat’s blog but I was curious what it was about and I was absolutely right.

All that happened was that she reblogged a post where someone was venting about their own experience with social anxiety, specifically about people telling them they ‘have to socialize’. It wasn’t advice, it wasn’t instructions, and it wasn’t telling anyone what they should or shouldn’t do. It was someone expressing frustration with being spoken to in a way that didn’t feel helpful to them.

I then see she got an ask telling her it was irresponsible’ to reblog that post. And that post is not the same thing as encouraging people not to cope. That’s such a reach to get there that I don’t actually even understand where that’s coming from.

There is no single ‘only way’ to live with or treat social anxiety. Some people benefit from exposure. Some people need long periods of safety first. Some people need other supports before pushing happens at all. Some people are disabled by anxiety in ways that make certain expectations unrealistic or harmful. All of that can be true at the same time.

I have severe social anxiety myself. There was a time I couldn’t leave my house. Even now, my husband often handles phone calls for me. Could I force myself to do them? Yes. Would that involve panic, distress, and sometimes crying? Also yes. A lot of people would say to push through it and it’ll get easier. It doesn’t. Trust me, I’ve tried. That might not be true for everyone. It might help others. That’s the thing, we’re all individuals.

What is a problem is trying to speak for an entire group and declaring one approach as universally empathetic and another as universally damaging.

You can say “this isn’t for me” without saying “this is irresponsible.” You can be triggered by a post without that post being wrong to exist.

“Father Blanco.”

“Miss Duperval.”

I...what?

Like my 3 faves??

Or????