#bug update

Hey everyone! As of today I am no longer accepting anymore writing requests for the time being. I want to start seriously focusing on my original works, and also, I have like...49 requests in my inbox that I'd like to/should get through (not counting some of the commission trades I'm still working on).

You are still free to send things to share (artwork, screenshots of games, etc.), or just general things for me to yap about. I don't want any of you to feel like you can't send me asks, just no writing prompts/requests/ideas, please.

welp with the news about dapper and pomme admins leaving I think this may mark my slow departure from qsmp. i adore bbh and will continue to watch his streams but i’ll probably be posting significantly less since i’ll have less of a focus. Just wanted to say thank you to everyone in the community and all the people I met and spoke with since march last year, its had its ups and downs but ive really enjoyed the experience and wouldn’t trade it.

huge thanks to Dapper and Pomme’s admins, knowing now what was going on behind the scenes im super grateful for all the time and love they put into the server for us and how long they stuck around. Their company and presence on the streams was a joy and will be seriously missed.

finally thanks to bbh for his commitment and love for the server. streaming everyday on the same server isnt an easy feat and being there for most of it, i know that it was out of passion and enjoyment for it, his dedication to the eggs was one of my favourite parts of the server and made his pov my favourite.

Hi everyone :) I have missed you all so much! I have been kicking myself these last two years for being gone for so long. Not only did I feel like I was letting y'all down, I felt like I was letting myself down. Writing is my biggest passion, and I felt like I abandoned it, and you. For context, before I left, I had Covid pretty bad, and am now suffering from long-term effects with my health because of it (that are thankfully more under control now). After having Covid I left a toxic relationship to unwittingly enter another, even more toxic and controlling relationship (whew is that a story!) and I learned that I have ADHD! (How fun is that!)

Anyway, to everyone that's still following me,

No seriously, thank you for sticking around!!

I have been working on some stuff for the last few months that I am so excited to share with y'all!

A few hours after this post will be a little Valentine's Day fluff fic to come out. Then in the coming weeks, I have a song inspired DeanxReader fic to be coming out labeled If You're Gonna Lie, and the following requests (under the read more with snippets of the fic) ready right now, to be queued. The requests will be coming out first, and then my own idea fics.

If you're interested in updating the tag list (whether that is adding your url, removing it or checking for accuracy) click here :) Next fic to be posted February 28th so if you want to update the tag list, be sure to do so before then :)

So, on the 24th my waters broke. It’s not as dramatic as they make it out to be in the movies / on TV. I genuinely thought I’d peed myself, except it didn’t stop!

I was due a stretch and sweep that morning, so I checked with the midwife who confirmed that it was definitely my waters. I was booked in for an induction for 24 hours later in case my contractions didn’t start.

2am the following morning I was having painful but irregular contractions, by 4am they were every 3 minutes. So we went to the hospital.

I was determined to have as natural a labour as possible; minimal drugs, use water and breathing techniques, maybe gas and air if it got bad. I’d been having Braxton Hicks for weeks and they hardly hurt at all. Real labour couldn’t be much worse, right?

Ahahahahahaha!

How naïve I was! That is by far the worst pain imaginable. And I’m talking worse than having a filling when the anaesthetic didn’t work. Worse than the HyCoSy. I genuinely felt like I was going to die. I think at one point I told husband I wanted to die, it was that bad.

I got to 5cm doing it “naturally”. And then I begged for an epidural. Now these things scare me because I know they can prolong labour and there’s an increased risk of having a C-Section; something I absolutely did not want. But it hurt so bad I begged for one.

It took about an hour to get it in and working as I had to be transferred from birthing suite (fancy hotel-like room) to labour unit, then the anaesthetist had to be available. I was screaming with every contraction at this point. But eventually it was in and the pains had dulled. So had the feeling in my legs but I would have happily chopped them off to end the pain.

I still had gas and air, which had been making me sick in the birthing pool, but now that I was accepting needles in the spine I was sucking on that gas and air like it was keeping me alive. I grew to love it. A lot! It made me very silly.

By about 2pm I was fully dilated (so much for an epidural slowing things down!) they gave me an hour to let baby’s head drop down a bit further and then I was allowed to start pushing.

Imagine being told to push as hard as you can, but having minimal sensation below the waist... it’s really difficult. I couldn’t tell easily when I was having a contraction so that midwife had to guide me in when to push. And then when I was pushing I really didn’t think I was getting anywhere.

As it turns out, I wasn’t. Bug was head down, but facing the wrong way! He was getting squashed every time I pushed and his heart rate was slowing. So a doctor was called. She informed me that if I didn’t get him out myself they would have to consider forceps and of that failed, the dreaded c-section. I had to fight back tears. She gave me an hour and I pushed my hardest.

But no joy. His heart rate dropped again and the doctor prepped the theatre for forceps delivery and c-section. Husband was rushed off to get changed for theatre. I was given a proper spinal block and introduced to about 10 people who would be delivering Bug! Husband sat by my head and as the consultant tried to turn Bug the right way round I focused entirely on his hand.

The consultant was amazing. He got Bug turned the right way, meaning no need for the C-section! If I thought trying to push with an epidural was hard it seemed nigh on impossible with a full spinal block. But push I did. And pull the consultant did, with forceps. At 4:55pm yesterday, Bug arrives, crying immediately! Slightly bruised on his face from the forceps, but perfect.

World, meet Isaac!