Me: Why does almost every chapter I outline for this fic end in Sam x Jack having sex?
Also me: Maybe Iām projecting a bit.
Also me: Or maybe I just have a dirty mind.
Also me: Or maybe itās both. Definitely both.
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Me: Why does almost every chapter I outline for this fic end in Sam x Jack having sex?
Also me: Maybe Iām projecting a bit.
Also me: Or maybe I just have a dirty mind.
Also me: Or maybe itās both. Definitely both.

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Bug Update
So, on the 24th my waters broke. Itās not as dramatic as they make it out to be in the movies / on TV. I genuinely thought Iād peed myself, except it didnāt stop!
I was due a stretch and sweep that morning, so I checked with the midwife who confirmed that it was definitely my waters. I was booked in for an induction for 24 hours later in case my contractions didnāt start.
2am the following morning I was having painful but irregular contractions, by 4am they were every 3 minutes. So we went to the hospital.
I was determined to have as natural a labour as possible; minimal drugs, use water and breathing techniques, maybe gas and air if it got bad. Iād been having Braxton Hicks for weeks and they hardly hurt at all. Real labour couldnāt be much worse, right?
Ahahahahahaha!
How naĆÆve I was! That is by far the worst pain imaginable. And Iām talking worse than having a filling when the anaesthetic didnāt work. Worse than the HyCoSy. I genuinely felt like I was going to die. I think at one point I told husband I wanted to die, it was that bad.
I got to 5cm doing it ānaturallyā. And then I begged for an epidural. Now these things scare me because I know they can prolong labour and thereās an increased risk of having a C-Section; something I absolutely did not want. But it hurt so bad I begged for one.
It took about an hour to get it in and working as I had to be transferred from birthing suite (fancy hotel-like room) to labour unit, then the anaesthetist had to be available. I was screaming with every contraction at this point. But eventually it was in and the pains had dulled. So had the feeling in my legs but I would have happily chopped them off to end the pain.
I still had gas and air, which had been making me sick in the birthing pool, but now that I was accepting needles in the spine I was sucking on that gas and air like it was keeping me alive. I grew to love it. A lot! It made me very silly.
By about 2pm I was fully dilated (so much for an epidural slowing things down!) they gave me an hour to let babyās head drop down a bit further and then I was allowed to start pushing.
Imagine being told to push as hard as you can, but having minimal sensation below the waist... itās really difficult. I couldnāt tell easily when I was having a contraction so that midwife had to guide me in when to push. And then when I was pushing I really didnāt think I was getting anywhere.
As it turns out, I wasnāt. Bug was head down, but facing the wrong way! He was getting squashed every time I pushed and his heart rate was slowing. So a doctor was called. She informed me that if I didnāt get him out myself they would have to consider forceps and of that failed, the dreaded c-section. I had to fight back tears. She gave me an hour and I pushed my hardest.
But no joy. His heart rate dropped again and the doctor prepped the theatre for forceps delivery and c-section. Husband was rushed off to get changed for theatre. I was given a proper spinal block and introduced to about 10 people who would be delivering Bug! Husband sat by my head and as the consultant tried to turn Bug the right way round I focused entirely on his hand.
The consultant was amazing. He got Bug turned the right way, meaning no need for the C-section! If I thought trying to push with an epidural was hard it seemed nigh on impossible with a full spinal block. But push I did. And pull the consultant did, with forceps. At 4:55pm yesterday, Bug arrives, crying immediately! Slightly bruised on his face from the forceps, but perfect.
World, meet Isaac!
Bug Update
40+4
Get OUT of me!!! ššš
2nd stretch & sweep today if they have space for me. Last one didnāt work. Also have to book an induction today.
Who wants to bet my nightmare scenario happens? Aka:
Induced, causes additional pain so I opt for an epidural (even though I donāt want one), because I canāt move around labour doesnāt progress fast enough and I have to have a c-section.
As opposed to my ideal scenario;
Labour starts and progresses well. I get to go to the birthing suite instead of the labour ward. I get to stay on my feet using breathing and water for pain relief. Baby is born, no tearing, straight onto boob and feeds well.
Iām losing the plot. Iām convinced the nightmare scenario is going to happen and itās really getting me down.
No midwives available, so no sweep til at least tonight! Had to call back in the evening.
Iām going to clean the house and walk to the shops with the recycling. Hopefully thatāll persuade Bug to make a move!
Bug Update
40+4
Get OUT of me!!! ššš
2nd stretch & sweep today if they have space for me. Last one didnāt work. Also have to book an induction today.
Who wants to bet my nightmare scenario happens? Aka:
Induced, causes additional pain so I opt for an epidural (even though I donāt want one), because I canāt move around labour doesnāt progress fast enough and I have to have a c-section.
As opposed to my ideal scenario;
Labour starts and progresses well. I get to go to the birthing suite instead of the labour ward. I get to stay on my feet using breathing and water for pain relief. Baby is born, no tearing, straight onto boob and feeds well.
Iām losing the plot. Iām convinced the nightmare scenario is going to happen and itās really getting me down.
Bug Update
40 weeks today!!
Thats it now, Bug... you made it to 40 weeks. Kindly vacate my uterus now!!!
For the most part I have loved being pregnant. I was determined not to take it for granted because there were so many times it felt like it would just never happen.
This week, however, I have been desperate to just have Bug out! At 38 weeks in the UK you are considered full term, though technically itās 40 weeks. So by 39 weeks I was doing everything in my power to naturally induce labour. All these methods are utter bollocks, by the way.
Every night Iād start getting Braxton-Hicks contractions with a little cramping, and Iād go to bed thinking āthis is it! By tomorrow Iāll be in established labour.ā
Every morning Iād wake up disappointed that the contractions had stopped and I definitely wasnāt in any kind of labour.
So yesterday I stayed as active as humanly possible. I cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom. I bounced on my yoga ball. I went for a 2 mile walk (including hills). I ate spicy food. I tried nipple stimulation (which is not fun when your boobs are already super sore). I had very carefully choreographed sex (this is very difficult with a beach ball on your front).
Yet again, I was convinced that by the morning (Bugās official due date), I would be contracting and ready to go.
Guess what?
...
...
...
...
Iām not. Bug is still determinedly staying put and I have barely slept.
Grumpy Jen is grumpy!

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Bug Update
Couple of exciting things for today, both of which have combined to make me realise Iām actually having a baby! Not just pregnant. Not just going to give birth. But actually have a baby. And take it home. And keep it. Holy shit!
The first thing was bringing my maternity leave forward by a week. I should be leaving work on the 29th March, but Iām going next Friday now instead. Iāve been so tired this week I just couldnāt keep it up any more. Instead I will get to sort the house out a bit, chill in front of the telly (watching One Born Every Minute cos in my head that counts as revising for the birth), and knit!
The second thing is washing the babyās clothes. All the newborn stuff is currently in the washing machine and then it will be sorted and some of it packed for the hospital. Just holding the teeny tiny onesies made me realise that in a few weeks there will be an actual baby in them!
I am so excited now!!!
Bug Update
Had another scan and consultant appointment today. Having multiple scans due to Bug measuring small a few weeks ago. Looks like s/he is back on track at a normal size. Estimated weight is 4.5lbs and Iāve 6 weeks to go, so s/he could be 7.5lbs!
Blood pressure is shockingly low (90/48) which at least explains the dizziness and exhaustion.
We had our last NCT antenatal class this week. Weāve made some really good friends (sci fi and Harry Potter fans!) so well be staying in touch with them. The last one was about breastfeeding and itās making me want to meet Bug soon and give him/her a cuddle and a feed. Canāt wait for the next 6 weeks.
Concerns though, my sister in law has decided sheās visiting on my first proper day of maternity leave (in 3 weeks). Still trying to work out a polite way of telling her I donāt want her to come visit! Sheās so bloody pushy and presumptive!
Bug Update
Next month, Bug will be here!! 7 weeks until the due date, 4 weeks left at work, maximum of 9 weeks til Bug appears (if s/he is overdue).
Whilst I am ridiculously excited to finally meet him/her, Iāve spent the last two days reflecting on the things I miss whilst being pregnant. The main thing is cold and flu medicine! Iāve had four pretty bad colds during this pregnancy and whilst I normally only take medicine as a last resort, Iāve missed having the option to take it! Lozenges especially!
Iām off work today, lying on the sofa, surrounded by tissues and cups of decaf tea. A few people at work have had this cold; my boss was off for a week with it. But I feel so guilty! I hate taking time off, especially when I only have a few weeks left and have a lot of targets to hit before I go. I just wish I could take medicine and push past it cos paracetamol just arenāt cutting it!
The main thing to remember is that the cold will go eventually and then itāll be even sooner til I get to meet Bug!
Bug Update
Iāve started writing actual long blog posts about this pregnancy, to continue when Bug arrives. Mainly to give me something to do and something to remember how this all felt. If anyone is interested in ready it Iāll post on here again when itās all set up online. Itāll be Wordpress based probably and might even feature some of Mr Bugās posts too. Heās pretty determined to write once Bug is here as he thinks there arenāt enough blunt stories from a mans point of view about raising babies lol
Bug Update
Bug is a night owl. S/he kicks constantly all night, so I get no sleep. Then, every two days, s/he kicks all day and then two days of sleeping and tiny movements.
Basically, Bug isnāt even here yet and Iām absolutely exhausted. Got 13 weeks to go, 10 weeks left at work. Just want to sleep!! š«

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Bug Update
Where the hell did that come from?! I swear I wasnāt showing properly until this morning.
Also, pregnancy boobs are awesome. Theyāre bigger and they stay up without a bra! Free the boobs!
I think this whole ābecoming a mumā thing has given me a tiny confidence boost about my appearance too. I no longer feel too skinny (Iāve gained 12 kilos since I got pregnant!) and Iām wearing no makeup in that photo! I never, ever, put photos of myself anywhere without at least eyeliner on (trichotilomania = no eyelashes a lot of the time). But Iām genuinely happy with how I look right now.
Weāve ordered a pram, car seat, nursery furniture and have started to clear the spare bedroom of all of my husbandās collectibles. This is both good and bad. Good because weāre actually getting stuff ready (14 weeks til due date!) Bad because our bedroom and living room are now full of Funko Pops... why does he have so many?! Other than that I feel woefully under prepared! Weāve picked a name. We have some bits and pieces. But I havenāt bought the eco-nappies yet. I havenāt got enough clothes for Bug. And the cats still sleep in our bedroom. Theyāre going to be devestated when they have to sleep elsewhere. And Iāll miss them being my furry hot water bottles every night.
Anyway, ramble over. Much loves and hugs to all and hope youāre all ok!
Iām gonna be a mum this year! š³š
Santa (aka my husband) bought Bug my absolute favourite item of clothing! š
It would be cool if after you died you could see the top 5 times you almost died
5 times you didnāt die and one time you did
Or the Daniel Jackson version: Five Times You Did Die and The One Time You Didnāt
Bug Update - 20 week scan
Yesterday, Bug turned 20 weeks! It also went for what should be its final scan, where every inch of it was measured and examined. It has a brain, arms, legs, hands, feet, kidneys, a bladder, and a perfect little heart.
Everything was fine and the sonographer said it measured exactly where it should on the growth chart!
We got to find out the sex, which, to be honest, I wasnāt particularly bothered about learning. But my husband wanted to use it as an excuse for cake, so we found out. Keeping that a secret until April is going to be hard now!
We were offered pictures too, so we said yes to that. Itās a shy little baby and wouldnāt budge much while my belly was being prodded with the doohickey. Had itās head hidden every time the sonographer tried to take a good photo of it for us to keep. So we ended up with a picture of itās hand with all five perfect little fingers, itās foot with all five perfect little toes, and the entire baby lying face against my back with itās head turned away!
Itās spent the entire evening kicking and wriggling and keeping me awake though! Clearly itās only shy when thereās a camera pointed at it!
I am so in love, itās ridiculous!

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My husband has just made me ridiculously happy.
I showed him the clip of RDA answering questions at LFCC. The one where he says Sam and Jack would be doing the nasty.
Husband immediately went āTheyād be fishing!ā
He pretends he doesnāt enjoy stargate, that heās not really watching it. He quite blatantly is. And heās a secret S/J shipper too!!
is there an active Stargate fandom on tumblr?
I started watching SG1 a little while ago and now Iām halfway through season 8 and I love it! But I donāt really know if there are people out there still blogging about it ya know?Ā
If you guys are out there could you reblog this post, or like it or whatever so I can find you please???