동반입대 하지 마셈 - “Don’t enlist together”.
They say the internet is a wide and crazy space… and yes it is…
This is just for the sake of sharing and awareness, of course. But I found it hilarious and sad at the same time and I need to let you people know, because these informations and stories can give us a great insight on what Jimin and Jungkook might be going through and what they have chosen to go through together…
Just for context- I often said on here that I wanna be informed. Especially when it comes to such hard situations to accept like this military enlistment korean men have to go through that it’s a hard pill to swallow for anyone who cares. So I read stories, watched videos, documentaries, tried to get an overview of the matter as objective and not much tragic as possible.
And my curiosity led me on a korean forum. It’s called dcinside. Yes, the way I use my little free time is definitely something lmao. But I can’t help it. And these guys… these guys are strong… truly. What I found gave me mixed emotions. And then I saw that “9597” among all those korean letters I can’t read and I was like… wait a second… 95 97 makes me think of someone…
And so I translated that conversation too. Otherwise I was gonna ignore it because I had already gathered the information I was looking for.
But let’s take it slow. I’ll give you sources so you can read or translate it yourself.
-1st post (link) and 2nd post (link)
In these two, one is sharing their personal experience through the buddy system, and it’s the one I’ll share below in a more detailed way, while the second one asks:
"We've known each other since elementary school, so we're close enough to know each other's love lives and family matters, but there are many stories about cutting ties if we enlist together. If anyone has experience with buddy enlistment, I would really appreciate it if you could share your thoughts."
This makes us understand already what stories circulate around it and how not everyone immediately thinks of enlisting together since the consequences are not always preferable. I don’t think it’s needed but I’ll say it anyways: these are all personal experiences. This is just for the sake of sharing and conversation. Every story and every relationship is different.
But there is a common scenario, as Jin told Jikook too, which is friends getting tired of each other.
So going back to that first post I shared, someone, in 2022, posted this message (with that title I put above, “don’t enlist together”) on dcinside:
And this is the very literal translation of it that I’d be glad to be corrected if needed (skip to the red part to get where he actually talks about his buddy and the experience with him):
“Objectively speaking, I don't have good technical skills, but thanks to my experience of constantly sucking up to teachers, I managed to create the image of someone who works hard during my private (first and second) soldier ranks. When I go on duty, I make things fun, so within the unit, I'm generally recognized as an A-grade soldier.
But my friend is quiet, boring, and has no sense of awareness. He's not completely incompetent like those useless characters in movies or dramas, but he's a highly individualistic person who tends to do things half-heartedly. Honestly, since he was conscripted, I think he's just doing the bare minimum, and I can understand his perspective.
He always goes along with whatever I suggest, which is part of why we enlisted together. We wanted to enlist quickly and return to university at 22, so we both joined in April at the age of 20”.
The post goes on like this…
“At this point, we’re both under a lot of stress. If we do something together, I get lumped in with him and criticized alongside him. Meanwhile, he gets compared to me a lot. Since I’m only 20, the senior soldiers treat me like a younger brother and are more comfortable around me, but they straight-up discriminate against him. As this keeps piling up, he’s losing control over the juniors, and as he gains more seniority, he’s gradually becoming more incompetent. On the other hand, I’ve blended in well with the senior soldiers and get along with them.
In civilian life, friendships are what matter, but in the unit, being around him is starting to feel more and more stressful. Even when I try to lighten the mood, he just stays silent, which frustrates me.
Unless you’re assigned to a support unit (like divisions 51 or 55), the buddy enlistment system almost always results in deployment to a front-line or border unit, where the workload is much heavier than in rear units. If you don’t get along with your unit members, stress is inevitable. At this point, I keep thinking that if things were just going to turn out like this, I should’ve applied for an administrative position instead.
Honestly, unless both people are social and outgoing, the buddy enlistment system is just LL (a losing game)…”
Draw your conclusions. Lol. I’m sorry for the silent friend, honestly, and a lot of people commented saying they’re quiet and shy too and can’t help it, even though it bothers their friends.
There are also other comments, though. Someone says they enlisted with a buddy as well, and they add: "we're a useless ace duo, but we fight every day, haha”.
Another one: "If you enlist together, it will be one of two things: either you'll cut ties, or you'll become best friends when you get out."
N.3 : "Military relationships are unknown at first, but after spending every day together for 24 hours, you've seen everything, and when you get out, most of the time it ends with cutting ties. Buddy enlistment? Even friends who were close end up cutting ties after seeing each other's worst sides in the military. Just avoid getting involved in as little as possible in the military, guys who haven't served."
N. 4 really, really stood out to me:
“동반입대 절대 비추천 열에 아홉 은 전방 헬부대로 끌려감”
"Seriously, I absolutely do not recommend buddy enlistment. Nine out of ten are sent to the front-line hell units."
The last one says: "From the very beginning, it's just the two of you, so it's fate."
In the other comment section, people said things like:
“I had two younger friends who enlisted together, and everything went well, but the reason why cutting ties might happen is one of the following:
living together and being close are different things.
I can guarantee this. When you live together, you inevitably get to know aspects of that person you didn't know before, even if you don't want to.
However, during this process, there's a high chance that conflicts will arise. For example, if they snore loudly, making it hard for you to sleep."
Oh man… I know someone who was very willing to get used to his buddy’s snoring and even got punched in the face a couple of times…🤧🥹this gave me a cute aggression ngl.
Others shared that they fight because their close ones in the military don’t shower enough or often, ruining the… experience… for everyone else in the room…
Someone else said:
"In those aspects, you have to fix what needs to be fixed and point out what needs to be pointed out, but if you don't express your feelings at the moment, problems arise. The military is pretty much like prison.
But think about it. If those situations pile up, you both get tired. Even if you didn't do anything wrong, it's much better for your mental health to make up. Otherwise, you'll spend the rest of your military life fighting with that annoying person."
You see, the majority of advices or experiences share that this damn buddy system is not for everyone. Not every pair of friend can go through it. Not everyone, again.
There needs to be a special connection, your personalities need to be connected too. You need to be very much used to the other, not even similar but your orbits need to be fine with one another. Someone said something very beautiful that touched me a bit (I know, I’m too sensitive for this world):
"If you're really close with that friend and you're confident that you can handle how they change or how you change, then I'd recommend enlisting together. If you think you'll end up cutting ties with them, then it's better to hold off for now."
Being able to handle how the other could change, right there in front of your eyes, in the hardest unit just to be together. That’s what you need to be doing, sharing that experience 24/7. You need to accept the other, their essence, to find in them comfort and support. It’s not easy to walk with someone on a daily basis, imagine walking with them through such a difficult journey.
And no, this doesn’t mean you don’t get pissed off. Oh man I’m SURE Jimin and Jungkook have had their moments too. It’s hard to imagine that Jungkook who was begging JM to meet up feeling pissed off but hey… we need to take into account that possibility. True couples work like that.
They’re human, and their friendship and bond is too. But that doesn’t mean not wanting the other around: it just means accepting that you’re having a moment, you’re stressed and nervous. You’re away from everything you’ve always known and just wanna go home. You eventually should realize that the other is actually the person you chose by your side and that you needed.
That’s why they share breaks together too. That’s why they cutely interact on weverse. That’s why they send gifts together and keep wanting to be perceived as a pair.
And that’s why I believe they’ve successfully made it through their companionship, even though we need them back to get the full picture. Because they’ve always, always been willing to accept the other’s changes and to separate a moment of stress or frustration from the true nature of their relationship.
Moving on, I was basically done. But as I said at the beginning, I saw this on theqoo:
“[…] with everything about HYBE being exposed now, I find the buddy enlistment plan absurd. HYBE will probably release an album next year and go ahead with the tour, pretending like nothing happened. They're crazy”.
Then I saw these comments…
"Why the buddy enlistment for 9597? If you're going to do it, at least do it with people the same age."
"Even knowing it would cause a huge fuss, they still sent him (Jungkook). They're idiots."
And I was like… wait a damn minute… wait a damn… minute… is this fucking play about us?
I entered my limp wristed investigator mode. What did I just find?!
Why the tone? Why the attitude? 9597 is what we’re calling them now? ‘Sending’ him? What if he chose? These korean letters I know nothing about were hiding all that?
Damn.
And someone else answered:
"A performer-type singer in his 20s is so precious. Jeongguk still has a long way to go, and his album was released only a month ago, and it's already blown up, even getting an offer for the Super Bowl. Why did they make him enlist early for the buddy enlistment?"
Fair. Fair. Sure. But… early for the what?
Thinking he enlisted earlier for the buddy system only… thinking his company should have not agreed to sending him to the military with a buddy… or even wanting him to don’t enlist along with the others just to keep his activities going… not caring about the band as a whole at all… I know what you are. Lol.
Lol…
Someone sounds annoyed….
The best part? The title of that post is:
뭘위한 동반입대 인거야?
Which should be…
“What is the point of the buddy enlistment?”
And as you can see, the post did not actually ask for the point of it…sounds like a mad rhetorical question to me.
Anyways this is just public anonymous forums we’re talking about. And what matters is that while a lot of people who seemed to have been through the companion system or know those who have, do not recommend it to people whose personalities are not compatible, some others confirm they got out fine and found actual support in their chosen friend.
But above all, most see that last scenario as really rare.
Because Jimin and Jungkook are rare.
Not in the sense of unique, or special, or different. They fight and get to the each other’s nerves and make mistakes. They’ve been through ups and downs and will be again in the future.
But they’re rare because they’ve been fighting for what they share for 10 years. A decade. They’ve been honoring and defending it and nurturing it for a decade. That’s rare.
And to just seal it up with this enlistment… and everything it requires to get in… and everything that could happen once you’re in…to just choose the other, always. That’s love.
This post on a korean blog well explains how most buddies are sent to harder units, how the most common risk is arguments and stress, not standing each other, tension… and he explained how intricated and complex the application is. Just passage after passage, procedure after procedure…
This choice was not only actively chosen by both (this person explained that to enlist together both individuals must fill up their own application form), but that they know each other so well, and love the other so much, that once again the risk was not a limit.
The risk of not getting along was not a limit, because they work through everything together. And they were even excited of making memories, can’t wait to share their stories, meet up on their free time from the base, traveled for an entire year before going…this is rare.
And delicate, yet strong and lasting.
We don’t need this reminder or these words. But sometimes it’s good to say them out loud. What’s rare and resilient always deserves recognition.
