#buckali

it's also sad how he sort of resigned himself to not be somebody's choice to the point where even just a moment of physical intimacy felt like enough for him. and then when he finally gets that relationship, when he finally feels like he has that something, he's just forever changed. and now he can't imagine wanting something different.

and yet, it's tragic how eventually most of his relationships end with him (most likely) feeling like he's not anyone's first choice. he can't be someone's first because he's still young, he can't be someone's first because of his job, he can't be someone's first (as himself) because his death comes first, and he can't be someone's first because they believe they won't be his last.

and every time he keeps going, still searching, still open to love, still reaching for the top just to fall straight to the bottom. but he doesn't seem to give up in his quest, though everyone has a limit. it makes you wonder if he will give up or just get tired and finally do something about it.

but who knows, one can only hope he does.

and I was having a hell of a time considering I struggle to write anything related to breaking up our bb's. BUT.

Hear me out. SalTommy/BuckAli. Sometime post s2. Buck and Tommy meet in a bar. Tommy has just finished his flight training and is in the process of transferring to Harbor. He and Sal have had this thing going on for a few years now, but Sal has always had his whole thing of "if the right girl comes along, I'm out". And for a while he's been with this girl, noncommittal (or so he told Tommy), but he's asked her to marry him and he's in line to get promoted to captain, and even though Tommy had this idea that they would find a way to make it work, it's definitely not happening now. His new coworkers are telling him to just get back out there (they know whoever Tommy was dating burned him but he never told them who it was).

Evan is in between surgeries, still not able to start rehabbing to go back to work. Initially, he was still staying in contact with Eddie and all, but since he can't be at work and hearing about it just depresses him, he's mostly only hanging out with Maddie (and occasionally Chimney by relation).

Long story short, Tommy's had a blow-off fight with Sal after Sal tells him that he's proposed to his girlfriend, and Ali has told Evan for good that she wants out. They both end up at a mostly empty bar on a random weeknight drinking alcohol to drown their sorrows. Tommy sorta knows who Evan is because of the news, but that's it. They start talking, start recognizing something in one another and always being the ones who get left behind.

Drunk sex happens at the loft. Tommy gets up to leave because he's used to that with Sal, but Evan does something to twinge his leg, and Tommy can't leave him that way. And somehow the guy who always has to leave and the one who's used to being left behind end up in this situation where Tommy stays. And they write it off as casual sex even though they actually like hanging out. They won't call it a relationship because they're both scared of losing each other. But Tommy shows up for Evan's last surgery, starts making him hang out with his friends more, gets called out by Chimney for the two clearly being in a relationship even though they won't call it that. Dance dangerously close to calling it love.

Tommy gets an invite to Sal's wedding around the time Evan gets his recert. The embolism happens, and Tommy's pissed first because Sal sent him the invite, but then that Evan was so reckless with his own life that he'd put his job before his life (this is where we get I love you, I'm not leaving). Tommy backs his decision to fight against Bobby's decision to keep him from returning to active duty.

And then...idk. Maybe he still sues the city. Maybe Tommy talks him into transferring to Harbor. Somewhere in there, Sal turns up to try and make up with Tommy, apologize for the way he ended things, but he runs into Evan instead, who really isn't cool with how he hurt Tommy. Ali gets the same treatment when she hears through the grapevine that Evan can't go back to active duty.

Ali was probably the best out of the others and their relationship was very cute to watch

Yes, you get it!!! I know she didn't get much screentime and people tend to write off her relationship with Buck because of it (and fair enough, honestly), but I loved her for the time she was there! She showed so much personality in so few episodes, and I still feel like it was a missed opportunity to not show their time together at all. Like, girl had JOKES, she was so funny and had such great chemistry with Buck and Eddie in the hi-rise. And it seemed like at her core, she was a really good and mature person who did her absolute best to do right by Buck, even when she started having doubts about them being together.

And whenever I rewatch the show I feel like I have to sit through a lot of not-great scenes when it comes to Buck's relationships, but that scene of them at the end of Buck, Actually where they meet up at the cafe and banter about how maybe she should've called Eddie instead never fails to make me grin like an idiot—it was so cute and dorky, and honestly I think that's a huge part of why I've fallen in love with BuckTommy so fast, because Tommy is also really dorky despite being this really handsome and competent helicopter pilot and I love that for Buck. (You know who's also a known dork? Eddie Diaz. I'm realizing a lot about why I ship what I ship rn 😂)