One Way To Stop Them Annoying Us...
Working the late shift and stuck sitting in the same pod as a very hipster ābrodudeā who has spent the hours since we came in guffawing with the other brodudes about the usual stuff - girls, porn, booze, etc.
Said other brodudes have now finished their shift and gone home, hipster brodude is looking for another āconversation partnerā.
Hipster Brodude: Hey Cat, gotta lighter? Iām choking for a cig.
Me: No, sorry - I donāt smoke.
*Few moments blessed silence*
HB: So are you going to the {staff night out location} on saturday? Should be a laugh seeing everyone get p*ssed, right? *laughs*
Me: *to Ami, inwardly* Iād rather have a cactus jammed violently down my throat. To HB: Na. Sitting in a room full of obnoxious drunks isnāt ou- isnāt MY idea of fun. But hope you have a good time!
*Ami snickers and climbs to my shoulder, interestedly watching HBās reactions*
HB: Youā¦ you donāt DRINK..?
Me: *sighs* Nope. I donāt actually like the taste of alcohol.
HB: (incredulous) Butā¦ you at least smoke weed, right?
*Am growls slightly at this and now Iām getting pissed off*
HB: Soā¦ what do you do for fun..?
*Iām now irritated that he assumes everyone would find that āfunā. Ami glances up at me, grins and settles back to watch the fireworks*
Me: Oh, I spend a lot of time online. Itās the only way I can satisfy my furry porn kink and lust over fictitious skeletons. Sometimes both together *winks* Humans just donāt do it for me.
HB: *goes wide eyed and splutters, his phone rings and he turns away to answer it. He doesnāt turn back when heās finished*
Ami: *collapsed in helpless giggles, holding onto my hair* Welpā¦ s'one way ta ensure ya donāt hafta listen to him, sweetheart..!
