Hey I loved your explanation of breakdowns development with bumblebee! I was wondering what bumblebee was thinking at the same time though? Like while he was carrying??
I love this AU though!! Itās the only thing Iāve been thinking about! š©š©š
It wasnāt easy for Bee either lemme tell youā¦
Bumblebee has the capabilities of seeing good in everyoneā¦ and he is very aware of how vulnerable it can make him. Heās been manipulated before, heās been taken advantage of due to his child-like optimism. Heās beenā¦ hardened to a degree because of it. Heās not a young naive scout anymore. He still likes to see the good, but heās much more cautious of letting that blind him to the reality.
Except everything goes out the window when it comes to Breakdown.
Bumblebee doesnāt know why. Maybe itās because they were friends before the war, maybe itās because despite everything Breakdownās never really done anything to hurt him (at least intentionally)
Bumblebee is more aware than anyone how vulnerable he leaves himself by trusting Breakdown so wholeheartedly.
He knows how quickly Breakdown could give him a false tip and lure him right into a trap. And yet Bee would still take his words and trust them like the gospel.
Maybe itās because he doesnāt value his life quite as much as he should. He doesnāt want to dieā¦ but heās been in the trenches of a war far longer than he ever experienced living at peace (if thatās what you would call the civil unrest that was slowly tipping into war by the time he came online) heās a bit desensitized to the extinguishing of a spark.
He knows the dangers of getting too close to anyone when you could lose them at any moment. Of course, heās always been a friendly bot. Most Autobots favor him kindly and he always enjoys otherās company. But he doesnāt stick around long enough to actually get close. Heās a scout. Traveling across Cybertron, sneaking past enemy lines. Heās alone more than not. Perhaps the only true companion he has was the bot always checking in on him at the end of the mission, the one giving him the next orders, and seeking his unlikely advice. It was easier to get close to Optimusā¦ he was less likely to get blown up in a random firefight and never come back.
Which only made his attraction to Breakdown more confusing. Breakdown was everything that Bumblebee tried to avoid: Reckless, foolish, thrill-seeking. Breakdown threw himself into fights he wasnāt likely to win for fun. Breakdown didnāt value his life quite as much as he should either.
They both were willing to gamble everything because neither of them had anything to lose. And that just made whatever they had that much more exciting
They didnāt see each other often. Years would pass before they could catch a glimpse of the other. It didnāt matter how long it had beenā¦ how many friends the other had lostā¦ it was like their unspoken connection was the only true consistency in their lives. Sometimes Breakdown would give Bee information. Other times they would just play cards or race. Sometimes they wouldnāt have a chance to talk at all, being in the heat of battle surrounded by other bots.
They got pretty good at pulling punches and staging fights.
And then the war āendedā and Breakdown was nowhere to be found. Bumblebee would be lying if he said he wasnāt disappointed. He should have known betterā¦ of course Breakdown would have run, all the Decepticons did. And Breakdown was still a decepticon.
Heās pretty confident Optimus knows about their friendship at this pointā¦ or at least has his suspicions. But Optimus had also pardoned the ex-leader of the Decepticons so Bumblebee doesnāt think he has much room to judge.
Being sent undercover for over a decade wasnāt the post-war future Bumblebee had planned for himself. He hadnāt envisioned it would take place on an alien organic planet either. He could still remember a time when he dreamed of retirement and maybe heād take up a ānormalā job like the ones Ironhide used to talk about. He always wondered if heād be good at something more domesticā¦ if maybe he would have an apartment of his own to return to each night instead of recharging at whatever outpost was closest after days without rest.
Now he views those as delusional fantasies. Heās not really sure who he is outside of his title of Autobot spy. He doesnāt think he can be anything besides a soldier. (A heroā¦ according to some people)
He wasnāt sure if it was boredom that triggered his search for Breakdown or if maybe he was just looking for some kind of company (he was used to solitude but it had just beenā¦ so long) but somehow he ended up at nearly every race he caught wind of. It wasnāt desperation, certainly notā¦ he justā¦ had a lot of free time is all.
He got close a couple of times. Breakdown was changing his alt mode regularly, Bee was sure of it. But still every so often heād catch a streak of blue and white. Breakdown had always been faster than himā¦
Bee considered himself great at adapting to any environment or situation that he would land himself in, but nothing could have prepared him for his latest assignmentā¦ Sparklingsittingā¦
Why Optimus had pulled him out of 15 years of hiding for something soā¦ mundane? Bee could only begin to question. He was convinced it was a waste of time. Bee didnāt know the first thing about younglings, there hadnāt been any sinceā¦ wellā¦ him. And that was a very long time ago.
But after a while he hated to admit he found themā¦ endearing. It was almost niceā¦ it felt like what he used to imagine a peaceful life would be like when he was still naive enough to think true peace was achievable.
And yetā¦ something was still missing.
Bee assumed it was the thrill of the missions he longed for. Considering Optimus was dead-set on sidelining himā¦ Bee decided to resume one of his personal missionsā¦
And thats when he finally reunited with the only bot he could ever consider his best friend. They had been apart for longer periods beforeā¦ but somehow this felt different. This could be a new start. The war was over.
And then he lost Breakdown again.
To the same humans to claimed to be their allies no less.
He didnāt care how it mustāve looked when he demanded Optimus give him a status report on Breakdownās condition when he was brought in.
Bee only got a lecture on how he was cutting it too close by getting involved with a race he knew G.H.O.S.T. was planning to bust.
So no, he didnāt really care what Optimus would think when he broke Breakdown out of prison. And he was only slightly hurt when Breakdown drove off ignoring his pleas of assistance. It wasnāt Breakdownās fightā¦ he had no right to be upset.
Of course Breakdown came through in the endā¦ he always has.
And so what if they started meeting up periodically to race and talk and forget about everything else for s little while. Even if the times Bee had fallen into recharge in his arms and woken up alone hurt more than heād like to admit.
Breakdown was quick to remind him, they were still on opposite sided. They could still betray each other in a moments noticeā¦ they both still had nothing to lose.
Exceptā¦ that wasnāt quite true anymore.
At first he didnāt do anything about it. Didnāt tell anyone. Didnāt even act like anything was different. A reaction he would later clarify was shock.
Then came the avoidance. The ticking time bomb until he had to do something about it was like a constant countdown in his head. He started seeking distractions. Lessons with the Terrans. Missions with Arcee. Drives with Breakdown. Anything to avoid thinking about the decisions he would need to make in the future. The very rapidly approaching future.
Breakdown was the first to know.
Looking back, Bee wished he had been able to break the news a little differently. He hadnāt intended to tell him that night at allā¦ he wasnāt sure if he was ever planning on telling him period.
The reality of a sparkling was beginning to hit and for the first time in his lifeā¦ Bumblebee couldnāt put himself at risk anymore.
And Breakdown was a risk.
It was supposed to be their last timeā¦ a chance to say goodbye, even if Breakdown didnāt know it. Instead in a moment of emotion, Bee accidentally let it slip.
He wasnāt expecting Breakdown to choose the path of caution too. To desperately pledge to stay by his side. To stop taking risksā¦ to stop runningā¦ to finally face this emotion theyāve been dancing around for centuries
Bee almost felt guilty for assuming so negatively of the one bot he has ever loved, but then again Breakdown has never really done much to prove his loyalty besides never actually betraying him.
This was different though. This was their real new start. The desperation in Breakdownās eyes, like heād never seen before, was enough to prove it.
And he trusted Breakdownā¦ because now they both had something to lose.
The hard part was convincing Optimus to do the sameā¦
Bee is lucky he was always Primeās favorite. Pretty sure any other bot could be charged with fraternizing with the enemy. And of courseā¦ the news didnāt go over very smoothlyā¦ Bee wasnāt expecting it toā¦
Heās grateful Breakdown survived to the end of the conversation, though there were a handful of blasters involved in the process.
But after the lectures and the disappointment and the numerous encounters of bots trying to convince Bumblebee to abandon whatever bond he had with Breakdown and allow the Autobots to assist in the Sparklingās upbringingā¦ Bee noticed for the first time just how hard BD was trying.
Breakdown never cared about what anyone thought of him. He never did things for the approval of othersā¦ so Bee knew it was his own decision when BD formerly defected from the Decepticons and took on the autobot mantel.
Heād never seen him more dedicated to anything beforeā¦ and thatās when Bee knew. They were going to be okay.
He had only ever been a soldier beforeā¦ he wasnāt sure if he was really cut out for this whole Carrier thing. Breakdown joked that the Terrans had been the trial run, and he had all the training he needed.
They both joked to avoid the spark numbing fear.
They had never experienced it beforeā¦ not like thisā¦ the fear of losing.
Bee wasnāt sure when Breakdown became soā¦ domestic. Sure, he still teased and flirted and ran his mouth. He still made bets he couldnāt win. But he also brought Bee his energon every morning, mixed exactly the way he liked it. And everytime Bee fell into recharge, heād still be by his side when his optics opened again.
Bumblebee couldnāt help but be angry a littleā¦
Why was he only now receiving this treatment? Theyād known how they felt about each other for how long? How long had Bee tried to convince him to stay by his side?
But Breakdown didnāt need Beeās anger to feel guilty. He barely felt deserving of the chances heād been given long before this one.
And Bumblebee couldnāt bring himself to act on his angerā¦ not when Breakdown was trying so hard for him.
Perhaps Beeās dreams of peace werenāt so far off after all.
