#bpoc

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Okay, so many people have said their piece and dabbed their chins with dainty napkins and feel all good and happy with themselves. This bpoc feels like it’s time to not be afraid to speak out about this and say my piece. MY TURN.

Ryan Guzman. Yep, I’m gonna talk about it. Here’s what I think: He made a big mistake. But that is all it was.

I can hear some of you warming up your keyboards to blast me to hell for daring to call what Ryan did "a mistake." Oh but I dare. I dare specifically as a bpoc. 

Why, you might ask? Because Mr. Guzman grew up Latinx. When you are growing up as a minority poc (and to everyone who insists on yelling "He's half white!!!" stay in your seats and just trust me they have it damn bad since they never fit in on either side and yet are held to excruciating standards--see how people are trashing him on the internet rn for reference to this.) Anyway, when you are growing up as a poc, you gravitate to other poc minorities as friends. This isn't a perfect process, it sometimes goes well, sometimes goes horribly wrong, it definitely has gone both ways for me. But time and again, one of the ways I and my various bpoc/nbpoc friends start breaking down those walls is by acknowledging our similarities, by acknowledging how we have been "othered" by people in power. Involved is the use of names that people in power have used to other us. Is it ugly sounding? Yes, and if this is too much for you to take, go back to your nice, white-shingled middle class house and hide away from reality, I won't stop you. But we work with what we've got. And acknowledging our otherness to each other is part of how we bond. Many of my friendships with both bpoc and nbpoc got their start in this incredibly dark humor kind of way. 

Racial slurs should not be popularized or used, but the reason they often are used by poc among each other are as a way to forge connections by instantly talking about what we have in common--how we have been othered. Mr. Guzman grew up in this environment (he has mentioned it before himself in interviews and various Facebook lives--one of the reasons he moved to LA was to keep him from getting back into old habits and find more opportunities away from his childhood hometown) and so he would be socialized in an environment where many of his friends are poc, and when they all hang out he would probably be called every latinx stereotypical name and he would dish it back, because in those environments THAT. IS. LIFE. Prissy white people don't understand this, and so up they go to heap anger and judgement on him for something he was socialized in as a kid that followed him into adulthood. 

Is he in a position of power now? Yes. That means he needs change habits from his childhood. But just like people who grew up in poverty have trouble shaking the habit of always saving away something for later, these things don't just melt away because The Tasteful Folk want them to. Should he have discussed this over social media as if it's acceptable to everyone to try? Absolutely not, again he's a public persona now and in a position of power, and what was once survival and socialization instinct for him now has to be weeded out. He needs to learn and change, he acknowledged that himself in his apology. And if he doesn't make change, then okay, it's time to ask that he be encouraged to change. But to just CANCEL him because it's the hip, popular thing to do and to completely not acknowledge his background and just yell “racist” at him!? Ugh, I just.... The amount of out-of-touch you have to be with mixed-poc communities to come to this conclusion just ASTOUNDS me.

I've seen the posts around here, they prove exactly what I've said before about mixed race people being held to impossible standards. And I'm seeing these ugly gleeful posts by some people like "I hope he's completely RUINED by this" "I hope he dies" "fire him from everything and ruin his life!!!" I'm disgusted that people talk about it with such glee, honestly. It tells me that they don't care about black lives, they're just sick, angry sadists who like seeing people be made miserable for their mistakes. I see your posts and I don't think you support me at all, I think you just want to feel powerful and you think that I'll be pleased that you've jumped onto this situation to do so. I'm not. It's like when I was a kid and saw middle class kids pick on my friends because they didn't completely get all the Unspoken Nuances. It's uncool and it's bullying, to be frank.

There, I have spoken. Hate me if you want, unfollow me, whatever. I'm tired of seeing people sh*tting all over someone, talking about privilege when they themselves so clearly don't understand the nuance of the situation at all, and have no clue what it's like growing up as a poc and the social dynamics that are literally my childhood (as a bpoc growing up with Asian and Latinx friends) and would totally produce a man like Ryan Guzman, who by all other appearances does not have a racist bone in his body but still grew up referring to his fellow friends of color (YES, ACTUAL GOOD FRIENDS) by names that have been used by people in power to other them (And you'd better believe those friends are dishing it back and then some!) 

Something else I’ve noticed about the angry sadists that disgusts me?? These same people are talking from both sides of their mouths: 

They say RYAN GUZMAN HAS TO DO A L L  T H E  T H I N G S in order to “redeem himself”

Only to follow it up with NO MATTER WHAT HE DOES I WILL NEVER FORGIVE HIM!!! 

And then they wonder angrily why no one is bothering to try and please them when they are by definition IMPOSSIBLE to please?? This feels like every other time poc are made to jump through hoops to please folks who can never be satisfied. 

I believe that the best way to see if someone has learned from their mistakes is by seeing what they've done to reflect and change their behavior. Now, mind you, Ryan Guzman has BARELY been on social media lately, but when he is? It's in support of members of the black community. Is he blasting racists on social media in his spare time? No, but let's face it, if he did, all the people who supposedly “support” bpoc would come after him being like "How dare you call out other people, you [fill in the blank]" and start threatening his 1 year old son again (which by the way in case it’s somehow unclear to you, threatening a literal baby is a repulsive thing to do, and if any of you have done that, unfollow me now.)

In conclusion: 

Stop trying to paint poc as racist garbage when in fact you are the one who doesn't understand at all.

Stop trying to cancel a poc who actually managed to get a decent job in the industry because he made a really stupid mistake that he is now trying to fix, and lastly--

The link: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0Bz011IF2Pu9TUWIxVWxybGJ1Ync