#bluuuuhhhh

a life update for anyone wondering how im doing currently: *clears throat* aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! >:c

Tfw you swallow your saliva to not look like a drooling slob but then you start choking on it because it almost went down the wrong pipe.

i wanna be social and interact with people but at the same time i really, really don't

Oh goodness. I have liberal Facebook friends adamantly saying "vote for Hillary so trump doesn't win!!" and I have socialist friends saying "the system is corrupt, I will not vote hillary!" I also have a socialist friend who posted saying "don't blame socialists if hillary doesn't win, blame the corrupt system that pushed hillary on us undemocratically, that made the most unpopular candidate the dem nominee" who like clearly isn't thinking about hmm, idk, maybe she's so unpopular cuz she's a SHE? U have article about the first woman dem nomination ad u have Russian hackers and just there's so much. Like there are so many perspectives for this election and it's interesting but extremely overwhelming right now, because people posting on facebook aren't having discussions, they are using ALL CAPS and ordering people to think like them and like it's just hard to read post after post of that (Tumblr ain't much better) I wish social media didn't make us feel like we had to be so unapologetic and sure of ourselves, like I wish we could show that we didn't know all the answers and still feel like our voice was being heard. Everyone thinks they're right and like I get that and with really important issues like you need that but also like can I get a break I wanna talk to someone who feels as torn and confused as I do. I'm also just getting to be in a not great mood cuz of all this political awfulness and my mom just keeps making sure that I am a aware of literally any bad news that has happened anywhere (& there's so muchhh) and I usually filter this stuff more so I don't fell fucking awful all the time and she has been bypassing my filter for like weeks. My mom is newer to a lot of feminism and racial justice movements and like my parents had the privilege of being pretty unaffected by politics for most of their lives and so while I support my mom learning about this I really do it's starting to really drain me and I still have a month of living at home before I go back to school.

Brb heading to a synoptic meteorology final that may or may not wreck my brain!