#bloodkeep

Markus, new to the job: What's the signal when something goes wrong? Leiland: We yell, 'oh shit.' Markus: … That'll work.

Leiland: Why do you hang out with me? Markus: You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me! Leiland: … Leiland: I feel a bit sorry for you.

Leiland: What do you want for breakfast? Leiland Jr.: I WISH TO DEVOUR THE UNBORN. Maggie: Maggie: He wants eggs.

Efink: Helpful grammar tip: “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for methaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance!

Lilith, to the good guys: Stop "saving the world" and get a hobby!

The whole squad: The good guys like to say ‘you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,’ but I happen to believe you can be both.

Zaul'Nazh: Does the defendant have any special requests? Olag: Death penalty. Maggie, from the gallery: Olag, it’s just a parking ticket. Olag, whispering into the mic: Please kill me.

Maggie: Okay, what does A stand for? Leiland Jr.: Arson. Maggie: Aw, you're so good. Okay! B! What does B stand for? Leiland Jr.: Barson. Markus: laughter Maggie: What stands for C? Leiland Jr.: Commit arson. Lilith: Oooh. Maggie: D! Leiland Jr.: Don't come near me, I'm going to commit arson. Markus: more laughter

Leiland: This can’t get any worse. Can it? Galfast Hamhead: Sure it can - just give me a minute.

Good guy: Any last words? Early Season Efink: Do you think I'm cute? Be honest.

Leiland: Hold the fuck up. Markus: Excuse me? Leiland: I said hold the fuck up. Markus: … Leiland: I’m the fuck up, hold me.

*In a battle* Sokhbarr, trying to warn about the location of an enemy: To the left! Markus: Take it back now y'all!

Leiland, trying to flirt with Markus: I think both of our families suck.

Leiland: The only thing keeping me from running away and hiding from society for the rest of my life is spite. I could disappear forever, but there are some bitches whose downfalls I have yet to witness, and I wanna be around when that happens.

Zaul'Nazh: I am your king, long may I reign! Lilith: Well I didn’t vote for you! Zaul'Nazh: You don’t vote for kings. Markus: Well how’d you become king then? Zaul'Nazh: The Boatman of the Lake, their arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft the Crown from the bosom of the water blood, signifying by divine providence that I, Zaul'Nazh, was to carry it. That is why I am your king. Sokhbarr: Listen. Strange people boating in ponds distributing crowns is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Leiland: Good news! I didn’t screw up! Zaul'Nazh: … Leiland: I screwed up less badly than usual! Zaul'Nazh: … Leiland: Screwed up with less immediate consequences than usual.

Maggie: Made you all playlists! Maggie: Lilith, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul. Maggie: Leiland, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression. Maggie: And Markus has the ABBA Gold album.

This chart includes the rolls made with advantage and disadvantage, so some of them didn't bear out narratively. No nat 20s were lost to disadvantage this season, but both the nat 1s Rekha rolled were with advantage so she dodged them!

Two of Matt's nat 1s happened on the same attack roll, because it was with advantage. It was also the very last roll of the season. His earlier attack roll that very same turn was a nat 20 though! What a truly wild turn.

SKILL CHECKS:

A somewhat different spread than the Intrepid Heroes here. Arcana checks are in the lead, followed by Perception, Athletics and Investigation. No History, Performance or Stealth checks this season.

ABILITY CHECKS & SAVES:

Not very many flat ability checks, but I do feel like I need to include them for posterity! The most frequent Saving Throw in Bloodkeep is Dexterity, and there are no Intelligence or Charisma saves. There weren't any INT saves in Fantasy High S1 either, so I'm weirdly excited to find out what the first one will be.

TRAPP'S ROLLS:

Almost half of Trapp's rolls this season are for J'er'em'ih the scream beast! (That tiny slice up top is an initiative roll for some summoned wargs.)