How do you know if your crush is aromantic? I'm sure the girl who's my brother's eyes belongs to that community. How do I prove it? Also, how do I break it to him? He'd be so mad :(
uhhhh. Iām not going to lie, I appreciate that youāre asking this but also Iām terrified by how you seem to intend to go about it.
How do you know if your crush is aromantic?
by talking to them and explicitly asking if they ID as such after making it clear that you support the aro community, even if you may not know much about it.
I'm sure the girl who's my brother's eyes belongs to that community.
Okay. Unfortunate for him, probably very awkward for her.
Hereās kinda where you went wrong. If Iām reading this right, and lmk if Iām not, you want to prove it first to yourself and then to your brother. You canāt prove anyoneās orientation by any means other than talking to them without relying on stereotypes and signalling, and tbh, Iām not inclined to talk about our in-community signalling without the next section being addressed.
Also, how do I break it to him? He'd be so mad :(
So... you... want to do what now? Possibly out her without her permission to him, based on stereotypes, knowing that heād respond poorly? As an aro, this is totally ideal /s. I cannot begin to describe how much I would fear you and your āgood intentionsā if you did this. While I understand wanting for your brother to not chase after someone who isnāt interested in him, this is quite possibly the least sensitive way you could go about it.
you can just ask her if sheās interested in him and tell him no if sheās okay with that
you can safety check for her if you think that heās going to be āso madā because personally thatās a major red flag? like, idk your brother and idk if it was a poor phrasing, but personally? if someone is mad that someone isnāt interested in them, thatās a horrific sign for how they will treat that person and people who are willing to date them. help run interference if heās upset at her, and help him find good outlets if you think thatās an okay plan.
if you mean that heād be upset at himself? then just... do what youād do if he was turned down and help him through it without demonizing whoever said no. donāt say things like āyou deserve betterā with regards to being turned down though? or if you do, phrase it as āyou deserve someone who wants to be in a relationship with youā
even if sheās aro, some aro people are willing to date. my experience is that most arenāt, but if thatās the case, itās her choice and a discussion for both of them to have.