#blitzxstolas

Alright, Blitz was just about done with all these bullshit. He grabbed Stolas’s hand and moved it away, “Sorry, but that ain’t happening.”

He was starting to get off the bed again, when Stolas sat up, too, “Wait!”

Blitz stopped and looked at him, waiting to be released from his duties, “I just . . . I really do enjoy spending time with you. . . It gets quite lonely in the castle sometimes, and I’ve only ever been intimate with a woman who hated my guts, and . . . it’s just been nice having you here, even if it’s just for a few hours. I’m not trying to guilt you into staying; you may stay or go as you desire. I just . . . want you to know that there is always a place in my bed for you if . . . you ever feel cold.”

Stolas hoped that Blitz understood his double meaning. He often felt cold and alone; being a single dad could do that to you. He just wanted Blitz to know he had someone to turn to, full moon agreements aside.

“Yeah,” Blitz snorted, “I bet I do.”

Stolas realized that he took a different, more promiscuous double meaning out of his heartfelt statement, “No, that’s not what I-”

“Half an hour.” Blitz said, as he got back into the bed.

“Oh! R-really?” Stolas was surprised, but made more room for him.

“Don’t read into it. You were just right about it being too cold to do sh*t.” Blitz said as he snuggled into the warm beast.

“Right. Yes. Of course.” Stolas tried not to squeal with joy.

A few minutes passed while they simply breathed together. Their hearts beat at an even rhythm, giving into a smooth lullaby for the broken pair who found each other on happenstance. Blitz inhaled that woodsy scent, but before he could get too lost in it, he checked the clock again, then repeated the cycle. It was one of those moments that Blitz looked down at Stolas’s feet poking out at the end of the blanket.

“Hey, I’ve been wondering. Why do you always have your sheets going the wrong way on your bed? If you had it the other way, the blanket would cover the whole bed and your feet wouldn’t stick out.”

Stolas looked down to see what he was talking about, “Oh! Yes, well that’s exactly the problem. You see, I have some very sharp talons, and if I put blankets over them, they would tear it to shreds with the slightest movement. So, this way is best I’m afraid.”

Blitz nodded thoughtfully, then he wiggled down, disappearing under the covers.

“Um, Blitzy dear, while I do appreciate the thought, it’s a bit early for a bl**-j*b, don’t you think?” Stolas said, before realizing that Blitz had tangled their legs together and was warming his feet with his.

Stolas blushed, “Oh, no, darling. I’m quite alright. I wouldn’t want to accidentally cut you if I drift off. I’d rather shred a hundred blankets before harming you-”

“Shut up . . .” Blitz whispered into Stolas’s stomach, “What’s another scar? Besides, I thought you said it was cold?”

A wide grin spread across Stolas’s face, and he curved his body down to hug the horns atop Blitz’s head, “You’re right. . . It was.”

— — —

Blitz sat up with a start; his head pounding the announcement of a hangover. He looked over to see sunlight streaming through a dirty window, blinds crooked and half closed. An alarm clock blared on his bedside table next to a picture of Loona giving him the finger. The room smelt of cigarettes and dirty laundry.

It had been awhile since he dreamt about Stolas. It had started out as a memory of the one time Blitz had accidentally slept in Stolas’s bed, but it ended differently. He had never gotten back into the bed with him, never accepted the invitation, never warmed his feet. After Stolas had begged him to stay, Blitz had left. An ars Goetian, a lonely and forgotten, sappy bird with sweet eyes, begged him for something, and he had gone without looking back.

Blitz turned to look at the other side of his bed. Empty, save for an old horse plush that was falling apart. He had loved that doll for years now, but he probably stole it. It had probably belonged somewhere else. Somewhere with a kid who would play with it around the house, give it a cute name, and cuddle with it at night. Blitz did do all those things, but he was a middle aged man who also spilled beer on it and couldn’t even remember if and when he had stolen it. How messed up was he if he couldn’t even have an honest relationship with a doll? It would’ve been better off without him.

Blitz laid in bed and let himself cry.

Read how they get back together on The Pompous and The Prick:

AO3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50092201

Wattpad

https://www.wattpad.com/story/352316721?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_reading&wp_page=reading_part_end&wp_uname=VikTheViking1&wp_originator=GnobwyzaH%2FriG1AH90KG4QDr%2BjBDWYToHzdheTblD%2B%2F91VyysBGDle2VF7JwUwVQGQYVEjkiJ5rwtL80QrNL7c9hXGYGmgLWX7lXXG62Aznj0x0wrwTjASufRFEa%2FuhL

Quotev

https://www.quotev.com/story/16057686/The-Pompous-and-The-Prick

Fanfiction.net

"Oh c****t on a stick, not another one of you f**kers." Blitz said as the robot effortlessly replaced the tablecloth, candelabra, and menus, putting the ruined ones on a cart beside them.

The robot grinned disturbingly wide, “Now, now. I am entirely my own bot, so whatever experiences you have had in the past, should not apply to me. So, are we ready to order?”

Blitz, still standing from his seat, jabbed a finger at the faux fizzarolli, “You listen here, you low-grade piece of scrap, you had better turn right back around, tell whoever the f**k your master is to let us out, or I will tear off your arms, tie them together, and shove them up-”

The robot backed up in response, putting it’s hands in front of him as a blockade, “Woah there, buddy! R-relax! No need to-”

“Hang on, just a g**d*mn minute!” Blitz grabbed it by the collar, and pinched it’s cheek, “Fizza-f**king-rolli, you trapped us in here?!”

“I-I-I assure you, sir, a-a-as realistic as I was made to seem, I am only a replica of the real thing.” The ‘robot’ began to sweat.

“Sticking to the lie, huh? Tell me, are you s*xbots ticklish?” Blitz said as he went for Fizz’s sides.

He let out a high pitched squeak and fell to the ground, Blitz followed, still tickling his waist, “Okay! O-okay! I give up! F**k!” He said between laughs.

Stolas looked between the two men feeling confused, and maybe just a twinge jealous.

“Good. Now let us out. You will have some explaining to do later, but right now I just want to get Loona back home before it gets dark.” Blitz stopped tickling Fizz, but still straddled him.

“Oh come on! We had this whole thing planned. At least stay and chat with your birdie over dinner.” Fizz urged.

Blitz let out an exasperated sigh, “No, Fizz. I am not staying here for one more minute with that pretentious owl. Okay? Enough of your bullsh*t.”

“Oh, you wanna talk about bullsh*t? How come we set up this whole romantic atmosphere for you guys and all you can do is sit in silence? You guys are both dying to talk about your feelings, but you say nothing!” Fizz slithered out from under him and sat up.

“My g** Fizz you really don’t know when to mind your own business, do you? There are no-" Blitz's sighed, his face blushed a little as he looked at the ground. Then remembering who's fault all this was, got back at it, "No feelings to talk about, okay?!” Blitz grabbed the jester by the shirt and shook him a little, his bells jingling, “You can lock us in a gaudy *ss room, with all the f**king candles you could fit in one of your boyfriend’s condoms, but nothing is going to convince me to go out with a binge drinking, kinky *ss doormat who can’t call someone daddy without thinking of his own neglectful father and is weirdly clingy with his daughter 'cause she's the only good thing in his life-”

“Blitz, I’m pretty sure you just described yourself.” Fizz pointed out, but Blitz ignored him.

“I mean, what did you expect?! For me to burst out into song, proclaiming my undying love?! Get real. Even if we started dating, it wouldn't be long before he realizes that I’m just a pathetic excuse of a demon, and he’ll regret all the sacrifices he would've had to make for to be with me. In the end, I’ll just end up ruining someone else’s life! It always ends the same! Just like you said, I will die alone!" He was crying, head down, tears dripping onto Fizz’s shirt, which he was still clutching onto.

Fizz watched the tears stream down his face, "I never said tha-"

"It doesn't matter, Fizz. Nothing matters. And there's nothing you can say or do will convince me to tell him how I feel.”

“. . . I think you just did.” Fizz said, and they both looked over to Stolas’s direction, but found him gone, a portal left open by the table, “Ah, f**k!”

“He could’ve made one of those the whole time!” Blitz stood up and shouted.

“That’s not the point, idiot! He probably left after hearing all the sh*t you said about him.” Fizz went up to him and smacked his shoulder.

“. . . Ah, f*ck.” Blitz covered his face with both his hands, and dragged them down, so done with himself.

Fizz sighed, “You dumb*ss.”

Read More of The Pompous and the Prick: a Stolasxblitz fanfiction here. Chapter 15 is out now!