#blind things

Sometimes I hate being tiny (4 feet 11) because it can be a massive pain in the ass, and then other times, I walk into a Walmart, see cute shit like this in the kid section, and get to embrace my inner girly girl well into my 20s, and that is wonderful.

I’m blind and have had a really weird relationship with clothing, specifically, shopping for it, all my life. A lot of the times, people were picking it out for me because I have no idea how to style things, and that’s not a uniquely blind thing, because I know blind people who know fashion like the back of their hand, can do their make up, ET see. But that’s not me.

All this to say, it’s rare for me to walk into a store and be able to find outfits for me completely on my own. I have friends, amazing friends, who do shopping days with me, help me figure out my style and make me feel amazing about myself while doing it. But it’s rare for me to be the one who’s actually doing the picking when it comes to the outfits, and to also be like yeah, I like that, and also, because of my height, know that it will fit with confidence. So today, finding this, with the sparkles on the tiara and the way it was textured on the shirt, which is very soft by the way, and instantly knowing that first of all, I want it, and second, I’m gonna look cute af in these pajamas, felt pretty fucking momentous because I’m pretty sure that’s never, ever happened to me before in my life.

Soo if you didn’t know I have Arfid, which I haven’t really talked about too much because I still deal with feelings of embarrassment/shame surrounding it. Plus I have only come to this conclusion due to extensive personal research and reflection, as this is an eating disorder that is still relatively new so receiving an official diagnosis can be difficult, so part of me doesn’t even feel qualified to speak on it... but all this to say, I didn’t think I liked eggs.

The one time I did have eggs, it was at a baby shower. My personal experience with Arfid stems from a general disinterest/discomfort in certain tastes and textures of unfamiliar and overly flavourful food groups. I’m very selective, very plain, and find that I tend to get overwhelmed/stressed easily when confronted with foods that have a very distinctive amount of flavor. So, when I had eggs, at the baby shower, I didn’t know that they were devilled eggs, and that devilled eggs actually taste really fucking different than normal eggs. So, just based off of that assumption, little nine or 10 year old Shay just went... well, I guess I don’t like eggs then 🤷‍♀️

Flash forward to yesterday, me and my best friend, let’s call her Z, are brainstorming simple foods that I’ll be able to make when I am living on my own and away for school. She says we should try eggs, because they’re pretty easy to make. I reluctantly agree, because honestly, it’s been a long time, so maybe my taste buds have evolved. This, in itself, is a big success for someone who has arfid, because trying new foods isn’t as simple as it is for people who don’t struggle with it.

Seting my brand new glasses down and siting/laying on them.

Hey! My band is putting out an album this weekend and I’m pretty psyched about it! You should come to one or both of out cd release shows if you’re in the KC area, it’s gonna be rad!

3/26: Soft Release @ The Couch 

4/2: Hard Release @ Holy Cow