#blarry

A compilation of things I drew on a call in a veggietales server tonight

(Context for some of these drawings under the cut)

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

fleur delacour/hermione granger

i think this has potential, in that hermione is demonstrably a francophile and one of the few people on earth who has the bulletproof sense of self-righteousness to cope with fleur's ego.

but i think it's not to last. hermione is clearly someone who likes a wife guy [of any gender] uncomplicatedly adoring her. she's going to have a low tolerance for "but your 'air would look so much better eef you just paid attention to eet".

draco malfoy/pansy parkinson

genuinely the relationship in canon [with the possible exception of harry's flop with cho] which feels the most authentically teenage. pansy, baby, he's really not that into you.

luna lovegood/draco malfoy

this got its own shoutout from another mystery anon:

i get it - we all love the "repressed posh boy falls for a free spirit" archetype - but i'm afraid to say it's not a ship i think is watertight, simply because it seems to require so much alteration of both draco and luna's canon personalities in order to make that archetype work.

[by which i mean it's always manic-pixie-dream!luna and suave!draco, two ways of writing them which never, ever slap for me.]

[i also don't like the fanon that she's a pureblood. "xenophilius lovegood" as a name fits the conventions the series uses for half-blood characters (that is, combining an unusual, non-standard-english name with an english surname - see also "mundungus fletcher", "tom marvolo riddle" and "severus snape"), and xenophilius'... esoteric views don't seem - to me - to be plausibly held by someone who is an inherent insider to a community, but by someone who feels peripheral to that community's inherent knowledge and therefore invents his own theories as a way of filling in the gaps.]

cedric diggory/harry potter

harry is canonically desperate for it - since cedric tells him to go gargle his old bathwater and he does.

but it's one-sided, i fear. cedric is demonstrably the hottest boy in school and harry is canonically scrawny and mid.

real ones know that the true potential lies with shipping cedric with ron, thus bringing about the heat death of the universe when harry's unexamined bisexuality catches sight of them canoodling.

daphne greengrass/harry potter

full respect [genuinely] to the self-insert-mary-sue girlies for turning this into a ship with its own lore. harmony nation walked so haphne nation could run.

by which i mean, sure, they work really well as a couple because daphne literally doesn't exist and - therefore - doesn't require the author to think about things like "making her canon personality compatible with harry's".

harry potter/blaise zabini

blaise couldn't pick him out of a line-up, be real.

ron weasley/blaise zabini

this, in contrast? true and plausible.

blaise canonically thinks that ginny's tasty, which means he's not going to turn down her fit, tall, sporty, easy-going brother.

that draco would be rattled is part of the fun.

ginny weasley/ron weasley

Harry: soon babe I need to take care of something

Draco: I need to be fucked so hard

Draco: so very very hard

Harry: how hard

Draco: so I won’t be able to walk

Harry: I can make Ronald come and fuck your ass

Harry: you won’t be able to walk anymore

Draco: oh…

Harry: we’re talking days

Draco: oh

Draco: tomorrow I go to Luna for a brunch

Harry: since when do you go to brunches with Luna

Draco: technically I go with Hermione to Luna

Draco: it’s a girl thing

Harry: oh, so I am not invited?

Draco: oh please

Draco: we both know Hermione would make an excuse and floo herself to suck your dick anyway

Harry: or suck your mom’s clit

Draco: yeah I think they have a later appointment tomorrow

Draco: so what are you doing now anyway

Harry: I am at Snape’s

Harry: getting fucked in the ass

Draco: ha-ha

Draco: seriously?

Snape: yes, seriously

Draco: why would you wanna have sex with Potter?

Snape: I was passing by and thought of cheap hookers of Hogsmeade

Harry: he made me drink polyjuice potion with Madame Rosmerta’s hair

Draco: good heavens

Draco: how much

Harry: a glass maybe

Draco: how long

Harry: six, maybe seven inches

Draco: I meant how long time ago

Harry: oh

Harry: half hour maybe

Draco: so you’re getting fucked in the ass by Snape right now and I have to—

Harry: why don’t you call Blaise

Harry: he has a big dick too

Snape: yummy, chocolate ass

Harry: shut the fuck up and fuck my ass for fuck sakes

Draco: whoa

Draco: where did that come from

Harry: Madame Rosmerta

Harry: she’s a cheeky lady

Draco: do you think Snape fucked Blaise too

Harry: he was in Slytherin

Draco: so was I

Snape: what do you think

Draco: I think you fucked his ass at least twice

Snape: that’s correct

Draco: you sound weird

Harry: he fucks my ass how do you expect him to sound for gods sake

Draco: sorry

Draco: come home soon okay

Draco: I miss you *flips phone*

Harry: this is weird why don’t you make me suck your dick like always

Snape: geez alright

Snape: suck my dick and get lost

Harry: it’s my office

Snape: oh. Right

Harry: *sigh* push my head so I choke

Snape: she never says that

Harry: now she does!

I made a hp version!! :)

ft. red moon, blarry, blairon, drarry, nottpott (my absolute fav), and jeverus <3

slowly getting better at book binding fics!! i have so many other things to do </3 (sorry anyone waiting on the next chapter of three and a half days, its giving me hell at the moment lmao)

the fics here are

whispers in corners

vellum and serpentine

forget-me-not