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Enox - Blame shift
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Through H and M And It Still Stands
We have a massive live oak tree in our back yard. It was planted there as a spindly five-foot sapling when we bought our home twenty-nine years ago. It has put up with the craziness of our Florida weather, existing through hurricane after hurricane, When Hurricane Charlie came through in 2004, we were warned that many of our local trees, because of our sandy soil, wouldn’t tolerate the high…
“Don’t confront their ego....”
I'm just putting this here, because it mirrors exactly what's happening at lil mans class. The teacher once again seemed "incapable" of dealing with him acting out the other day. (Are all the other kids perfect Angels, or what?! Do all the parents get this crap?!)
"I've never been so upset with a teacher before, at our 1st parent teacher conference she insulted me and told me I'm doing it wrong, when I have fought so hard to help my son make gains and now that he's in this class he is having setback academically and behaviorally because she thinks kids his age should take more self responsibility. mentally he's not there yet,No one would like that more then me. I tried telling her he needs constant reminders and repetitive follow though before his brain absorbs what needs to be done as well as visual reminders . I told her wishing he was a typical kid doesn't do him any service, he's not ,she just continued to insult my parenting and pushed me out the room with a lie of " your parent teacher time is up, another conference is coming in now" as we were pulling out ,she was walking out the school door ,she just didn't want to talk . I've left many meeting wanting to cry because I was frustrated but never had I wanted to cry because my sons teacher insulted me ,and refused to listen to what he needs to be successful. He's had so many set backs ,things he could do in 2nd grade ,they are saying he's not there yet now in 3 rd grade. I want to write her an email to express my disappointment in our meeting but hubby says wait till ppt next week, I think I'm too emotional to speak about it in room full of people. What would you do ??" Dear Mr. Smith When I was speaking with Mrs. White about Timmy during conferences last Thursday, I became very upset when Mrs. White said... I tried to explain to her that my son needs accommodations and she was very unreceptive my explanation and even went so far as to say that I was not parenting my child in an appropriate way. Mrs White went on to say...and eventually pushed me out of the classroom. I am very disturbed by this treatment and I will be filing a formal complaint with the school board immediately. Furthermore, if Mrs. White can not meet my son's challenges, as she has demonstrated thus far, then consider this my formal request for a different placement. Sincerely, Mrs. Green
Why, when something goes wrong, do some people tend to throw all the blame? Some throw it completely away from themselves, and some throw it completely on themselves, but why do we do that? I've seen people who balance the blame in appropriate (for the situation) ways and everyone is happy...so why can't I do that? I throw all the blame in a situation on myself (about half of the time) and it brings on this vicious circle of self-hate and depreciation.
For example: Michael didn't speak to me for about a month, and part of me believes it's my fault. There's a part of me that's saying it's ridiculous because I didn't do anything (that I remember anyways) so it must just be a mood of his or something, but there's still that part of me that defaults to self-hate.
I guess I'm just rambling and thinking out loud, but any opinions/insights would be welcome.
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