This ?

so no, i don't want to hear about how special education is good. not with the way me and my peers were treated and taken advantage of. death to institutionalization, in all forms.

“Autism isn’t a disability” until I have scars on my arms and hands from scratching and rubbing my skin off with my own fingers in meltdowns. Until I’m sobbing hysterically and screaming when people try to touch me in shutdowns. Until I hit myself to self regulate. Until I squeal randomly to express my emotions. Nobody treats me like a normal person. I’m treated like an animal or a pet. Nobody treats me as equal. Nobody treats me like I have a brain. I have straight A’s and an extremely high GPA. “Asperger’s.” “Level one.” Until I’m snapping and biting my pencils because someone is watching me over my shoulder. Until I rip up the worksheet you give me 4 times because you don’t provide me with actual help. Until I’m sobbing because I’m confused on if I can enter a new class because the teacher wasn’t in the room. And they still don’t take me seriously. They treat me like I’m stupid. “Oh, dear, let’s sit you in the calming room.” To contain me because they don’t want other students seeing a “special kid” cry. “I’ll be back.” And they leave me there for the entire class period without coming back to even check on me. And they get mad at me when I get up and leave to just suck it up and enter the classroom because no one was helping me. I’m not an equal to normal people. I will never be. “I love you even if you have autism! Don’t be afraid to be yourself!” Until we’re in public and I express basic happiness. I squeal, I stomp, I hit myself, I giggle, I hold my breath, I bite my lips, I jump up and down, I scratch myself, I flap my arms and hands around. You hit my arm and tell me I’m not being normal and I’m acting “crazy” and to calm down or you’ll take me back home. I’m not an animal to be kept in a cage. “You’re normal.” “You’re just really smart.” “You have superpowers!” Until I unmask and actually show my symptoms openly, and express my obvious needs for accommodation. Then I’m “special” or “troubled” or “impaired”. Normal people will never understand autistic people. We don’t get treated right and we don’t get treated like human. Stop hiding behind “well I just don’t understand!” Learn how to.

If you can advocate for youself, especially verbally without accomodations I hate to break it to you but the r word is not yours to reclaim because you are not the target so suck it up and punch up before I make you swallow your teeth.