I need to go potty and all I can think about is an older guy calling me a baby and telling me to hold it for him till I cant anymore and he makes fun of me for making a mess
I want him to push down on my stomach and force me to wet myself

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I need to go potty and all I can think about is an older guy calling me a baby and telling me to hold it for him till I cant anymore and he makes fun of me for making a mess
I want him to push down on my stomach and force me to wet myself

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I'm laying/sitting down in my bedroom again, listening to music quietly while a fan blows at me. I still feel like I need to pee a little bit, and that's really frustrating. Yeah, that's really bothering me. I also have a headache, and the headache is leaving me miserable.
I want to blame the peeing urges on me having masturbated earlier. I want to say that. But I've got no way of proving those two things are related, really. They just feel like they should be related. Masturbation leading to ejaculation...it seems like something that would damage my bladder or something.
As for the headache...I feel like blaming that on the total meltdown I had trying to open up to my dad again earlier. I did share the pokemon anime with him, surmounting all the odds. But I got so worked up in the process. I know I got all messed up, and I think that's why I have the headache now. That just makes sense to me.
I have tons more notes to write about all this. Give me a bit of time. I have to ignore my impulses to pee, and I need to lock in and focus. Give me some time.
I'm laying down upstairs again, listening to music while trying to relax. My fan is blowing at me, and I feel like I need to get up to go pee. It's really frustrating, you know? There's nothing wrong with peeing a lot, it's probably healthy. It's just also really inconvenient.
I'm also feeling really congested. I might make that it's own seperate post, but I had to get it off my chest now anyways. It's frustrating. sigh...
Last night I woke up at midnight. I think it was because I had to pee, because that's what I did immediately after waking up. I woke up, felt an urge to go pee and promptly did so. But I also checked the time. I saw that it was like 12:10. My dad hadn't yet left for work, but he was basically all prepared to go. And then me being awake at midnight changed things. I couldn't manage to get back to sleep, much as I tried. I was coated in sweat. I was dripping in sweat, and I had to change my shirt. And I was struggling to sleep. And so my dad promised he'd stay home. And I only managed to fall back asleep once I knew he was coming home.
Considering how I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee, I'm kind of worried this is a sign that my bladder is being weak or it's faltering or something. Because right now I'm sitting underneath my bedsheets listening to music while a fan blows at me again. And I'm remembering that I usually get up to pee something like 3 to 5 times when I'm sitting here. It's feeling like my bladder is getting worse. When I was in elementary school, I could hold my bladder in really well. I could go six hours without needing to pee. In May to June of 2025, I went bathroom multiple different times in High School. I was mortified by it.
Also, I'm worrying the need to pee gets stronger because I masturbate so much. I masturbated twice in one day yesterday or the day before. I masturbate a lot, and I fear I'm making myself more sensitive and more in need of urination. I drink a lot of water, so maybe my drinking habits are the real explanation. But I couldn't tell you.
I didn't go bathroom in college ever, but college days hardly ever rival the length of an elementary school day. So yeah, I'm afraid my bladder is becoming worse and more unmanageable. I know it's probably not. I know this is 90% hypochondria on my part, but I can't help it. I can help it. I'm just worried it'll happen again tonight. I'm really worried about that. I'm also worried about one day potentially having to deal with peeing my bed. I know you can put down plastic sheets or whatever to prevent that happening, but who wants to try and sleep on plastic? Not me! So this dilemma will always be bothering me, I think it's safe to say. Even now I feel like I need to pee. But I refuse to get up. I refuse. I will hold it in, if only to prove to myself that I can.
I generally haven't had a great few days, though. I had a massive panic attack last night over a brief storm that passed overhead. I feel like that could've contributed to me struggling to sleep later that evening. I also now have a pounding headache, and I feel miserable. I just haven't been having a great time in the last little while. My head is really freaking pounding. I wonder if my drinking habits influence my need to pee. I do drink a lot of water.
I'm gonna go for a bath in around 2-3 hours, but I'm incredibly on edge now. Just incredibly on edge. I'm a bit worried about sleeping tonight, I'm worried my posts recently haven't been seen, I worry I waste my time writing too many posts and doing nothing else. I worry about a lot of stuff. sigh...
Last night I woke up at midnight. I think it was because I had to pee, because that's what I did immediately after waking up. I woke up, felt an urge to go pee and promptly did so. But I also checked the time. I saw that it was like 12:10. My dad hadn't yet left for work, but he was basically all prepared to go. And then me being awake at midnight changed things. I couldn't manage to get back to sleep, much as I tried. I was coated in sweat. I was dripping in sweat, and I had to change my shirt. And I was struggling to sleep. And so my dad promised he'd stay home. And I only managed to fall back asleep once I knew he was coming home.
Considering how I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee, I'm kind of worried this is a sign that my bladder is being weak or it's faltering or something. Because right now I'm sitting underneath my bedsheets listening to music while a fan blows at me again. And I'm remembering that I usually get up to pee something like 3 to 5 times when I'm sitting here. It's feeling like my bladder is getting worse. When I was in elementary school, I could hold my bladder in really well. I could go six hours without needing to pee. In May to June of 2025, I went bathroom multiple different times in High School. I was mortified by it.
Also, I'm worrying the need to pee gets stronger because I masturbate so much. I masturbated twice in one day yesterday or the day before. I masturbate a lot, and I fear I'm making myself more sensitive and more in need of urination. I drink a lot of water, so maybe my drinking habits are the real explanation. But I couldn't tell you.
I didn't go bathroom in college ever, but college days hardly ever rival the length of an elementary school day. So yeah, I'm afraid my bladder is becoming worse and more unmanageable. I know it's probably not. I know this is 90% hypochondria on my part, but I can't help it. I can help it. I'm just worried it'll happen again tonight. I'm really worried about that. I'm also worried about one day potentially having to deal with peeing my bed. I know you can put down plastic sheets or whatever to prevent that happening, but who wants to try and sleep on plastic? Not me! So this dilemma will always be bothering me, I think it's safe to say. Even now I feel like I need to pee. But I refuse to get up. I refuse. I will hold it in, if only to prove to myself that I can.
I generally haven't had a great few days, though. I had a massive panic attack last night over a brief storm that passed overhead. I feel like that could've contributed to me struggling to sleep later that evening. I also now have a pounding headache, and I feel miserable. I just haven't been having a great time in the last little while. My head is really freaking pounding. I wonder if my drinking habits influence my need to pee. I do drink a lot of water.
I'm gonna go for a bath in around 2-3 hours, but I'm incredibly on edge now. Just incredibly on edge. I'm a bit worried about sleeping tonight, I'm worried my posts recently haven't been seen, I worry I waste my time writing too many posts and doing nothing else. I worry about a lot of stuff. sigh...

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I feel an urge to pee a lot when I'm sitting upstairs. I know it's probably nothing, but still. It frustrates me. I think some of it is coming from me drinking a ton of water. I always have done that, so I always seem to have more pee I could let out. And then once I notice the urge once, them I become an obsessive about it.
I used to be good at holding in my urine. In elementary school I did it for 6 hours straight. But apparently now I can't go an hour in front of a fan without needing to go bathroom multiple times. Makes one wonder what happened to cause that.
It's probably a good thing. I assume it's better to pee a lot than to be holding it in all the time. But it's still frustrating, and I feel better getting it all off my chest.
I'm still itchy from my haircut earlier today. That's adding a bonus difficulty for me. But yeah, I should be fine.
Gods, what's wrong with me? I went for six hour school days in elementary school and high school. I never peed there. But when I'm in my bedroom and the fans blowing, I get up at least two or three times to pee every day. And then I sit in the bathroom for sometimes up to ten minutes. That's something I do even when I'm not also laying down in my bedroom.
I'm convinced this is a sign of something. It's almost certainly a sign of nothing. It's probably just a sign I drink a lot, and that I pde the normal amount for someone who drinks a lot. But my brain convinces itself that I do this because I masturbate too much or because my genitals have sensitive nerves or something. It's all probably nonsense, but I ruin my mood with it regardless.
I'll try to calm down, and I'll try to stop obsessing over this. But I just get myself worked up. And I still haven't remembered to look for those vent posts I've made before. So I'll have to go digging through my 30,000+ post archive to find those soon. Or through my notes app or something. But I've just had a rough week. sigh...