#blackiron

Tony allows himself a few seconds to breathe in and get used to the feeling. He cannot actually remember the last time he felt so free. His brain was always cogitating something, magically trying to reach to some conclusion about the many problems he had to deal with during his entire life. Somehow, at the moment, he cannot even remember what problems used to keep him awake at night.

Only after realizing that he wants to cherish this moment forever does he try to look around him. He’s lying down in grass, the greener he’s ever seen, and above him, a blue sky welcomes him. There are no clouds, only a light breeze and a warm sun that illuminates his skin. Could he stay here forever?

Maybe there is no way things could get any better, but life has always a way of surprising you. So, when he tries to get up, he ears one of the only voices that could actually make him feel something.

             “Tinhead, you awake already?”

The voice of an angel would never sound this good. Tony turns around and sees her, wearing a taupe dress just a little below her knees, with flaming red hair moving to the rhythm of the wind. Natasha Romanoff. The last woman he would have expected to see in this so-close-to-paradise place. She sits, barefoot, on top of a rock.

            “Natasha-” he doesn’t know whether to run to her or stay in his place, or maybe even cry. Now he feels, but he can’t quite tell what.

            “Didn’t quite expect to see you so early.” she says, a smile on her lips. “Are you gonna just stand there or are you gonna give me a hug?”

Run to her, it is. He holds her tight when he reaches her, so tight that he thinks he might break one of her bones, but she doesn’t complain. On the contrary, she holds him just as tight, but he feels no pain. Only relief, to see her again. She feels like another beam of light in this place. Her warm skin embraces him and he buries his head on her shoulder, lets her hair him and suddenly there is the smell of cinnamon and rosemary. Did she always smell this good?

            “Did you smell me, Stark?”, she says, amused. He doesn’t back away from the hug, but eases on the strength he’s using to hold her.

            “Sorry. Didn’t realize I was even doing it.”, and then he looks at her, as if he had never seen her before. “Why are you here?”

            “I would guess for the same reason as you.”, he must have made a weird face, because she laughs. “You’re supposed to be a genius, Stark. Give it a minute, you’ll figure it out.”

            “Is this the afterlife? Are we dead? Is this supposed to be Heaven?”

Natasha looks around. Well, they are dead and this certainly is the afterlife. Can they call it heaven? She wouldn’t know. Natasha didn’t think she was worthy of a place called heaven, anyway.

            “We’re pretty dead. Don’t know if this is heaven, though. What do you see?”

Tony laughs. “Whatcha mean, Nat? What do I see? What do you see? Probably the same, I would say.”

            “I’ve been here a bit longer than you, unfortunately. Met a couple of old friends. We don’t all see the same. What do you see?”

            “I... what? The afterlife is different for everyone, uh?”, he barely registers it, but he has seen so much — this is definitely not the weirdest of the universe. “A blue sky. It’s sunny, and warm, and there’s a light breeze, enough so that you won’t feel the heat on your skin. The air smells good, not like the bullshit air you breathe on big cities. There’s green grass, like really green, and I can see some houses just over there. I dunno. Looks like the old house I had with Pepper on the countryside.”

            “You should go visit it. It probably has some nice surprises for you.”, she insisted.

            “What do you see?” A normal question, asked by one of the most curious men she has ever met.

Natasha closes her eyes, breathes in, and opens them again. The snow under her feet doesn’t make her feel cold. She’s dressed to the neck in warm clothes and heavy boots, and there’s no wind. The sky is dark and, above them, northern lights cover the sky in shades of green and pink. Right in front of them there is a house, small but enough for a family. A child plays outside and waves at her. Tony can’t see her, but Natasha can.

            “Life.”, she murmurs. “I feel more alive here than I ever did when I was alive, Tony. I don’t know how long it’s been since I died. Since I jumped off that cliff on Vormir. Time means nothing here. We’re eternal. There’s no weight on my chest. I remember all the things I’ve done, but it’s like - it’s like they don’t matter anymore. Like all has been forgiven.”

He touches her cheek and she leans into it.

            “I don’t have a damn clue what you’re talking about. But it sounds good.”, they both laugh and Natasha runs her fingers through his hair.

            “You’ll get it soon enough.” A moment of silence. She almost feels like she could kiss him, like they could become one and be here, forever, except that does not belong here. Love and hatred and happiness and sadness are things of the living world. Here, they just are – they exist, free of the weight of feeling and free of problems. They can have peace, at last. “Can you keep me company for a while? I’d like someone to talk to.”

Tony holds one of her hands and pulls towards the horizon (he sees endless grass and a beach just a few minutes away, she sees a quiet nice forest, filled with blooming flowers and trees old as time). “C’mon, Red. We have all the time in the world.” They do.

            “Do you think they will remember us?”, her voice doesn’t beak when she asks. It’s only a question, and the answer won’t bring her any closure. She just wants to know. “I mean, people will remember Tony Stark. But what we did for the world... will they remember?”

            “Does it matter?”, he asks. “No one could ever forget you, Nat. The strongest, most beautiful woman who ever lived. Second only to my wife, obviously.”, they laugh. “No, seriously. You’re amazing. All the ones who matter will remember.”

He is right, after all. Despite everything, she didn’t sacrifice herself to be remembered. She did so to atone for her sins.