Zimbits pining? Pre relationship idk
Pining is fun! Hope you enjoy!
Itās happening again. When it happened with Kenny, Jack didnāt know what was going on at first. They were both young, and Jack hadnāt had many crushes before (though, in hindsight, being thirteen and miserable in history class because his assigned seat was between the alarmingly pretty Sara and the scarily adorable Connor should have clued him in).
He didnāt know why he wanted to be near Kenny all the time. Kent, he had told himself fiercely, his name is Kent, but the nickname kept creeping into his thoughts, soft and fond whenever he thought about the other boy. Add to the fact that - he isnāt proud of this - Jack had literallyĀ jerked off to the memory of Kentās hockey (itās beautiful, he thinks, so fuck it) - and Jack reallyĀ should have gotten it sooner.
Then Kent startedā¦to react back. He sat next to Jack on the bus and let their knees knock together. He touched him, wrestling Jack for the last waffle and breakfast, brushing his hand on Jackās shoulder as he walked behind him. Looking, so that when Jack looked, he finally realized Kenny was looking back at him.
Of course, that all came crashing down when Jack overdosed.
Heās doing better now. Objectively, he knows this. Scouts come to his games again. He still obsesses over his hockey stats, but the numbers donāt lie: heās playing well. And Bad Bob is careful, more careful than heās ever been before:Ā āI want to be at your game, to support you, but I wonāt come if itās going to stress you out.ā
Which is why - he doesnāt notice at first that itās happening again.
If he had to summarize his reactions to freshman year Bittle, they would be annoyance. Heās incompetent, heās going to make them lose, heās going to pull them all down and drag Jack with him. Itās not until he complains to his father that he realizes.Ā āI guessā¦he has problems with physicality?ā Jack says, slowly, thinking through Bittleās reactions out loud.Ā āHeās small.ā His father makes a thinking noise. Jack continues,Ā āHeās a really good baker. He brought this pecan pie to our first practice of the seasonā¦ā
And so his thoughts of Bittle become problem to be solved.Ā He doesnāt expect the early morning sunlight in Faber shining on Bittleās yellow hair. He doesnāt expectĀ āCall me Bitty - everyone else does except you.ā
āItty Bitty,ā Jack says, and scrubs his hand through Bittleās hair.Ā āSo little,ā he coos.Ā
Bittle laughs and wrestles himself away from him.Ā āGo to your room, Jack!ā
It happens so gradually he isnāt aware of it. Bittle is a teammate, then heās a friend, then theyāre in the kitchen cooking together for their shared class.
Jack lifts the pie crust like itās made of glass.Ā āIām going to fuck this up,ā he tells Bittle.
āYou arenāt,ā Bittle says.Ā āYou dusted it with plenty of flour. Just pick it up.ā
And Jack does. He fits the pie crust into the pie plate.Ā
Bitty claps his floury hands together.Ā āWell done!ā And Jack thinks of not being at Samwell next year and feels a sharp stab of somethingĀ a lot like grief.
When he signs with the Falconers, one of the first things he does is map the driving distance from Providence to Samwell. Forty five minutes in good traffic is doable. He doesnāt let himself think too much about whyĀ it needs to be a reasonable distance. The team, I want to keep in touchā¦but itās not just the team.
When Bittle puts his arms around Jack, hiding his teary face in the shoulder of Jackās graduation robe, Jack hugs him back a little harder than necessary.Ā āIām going to miss playing with you,ā he says, and wonders why he feels that old sharp stabĀ in the center of his chest. He doesnāt know for sure.
