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That basketball boinked Geto's🧍🏻♂️head so hard he lost his mind and started a cult.
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are you two seriously on a date in the middle of a fucking plague outbreak
REF IN THE WAY AGAIN
Tessa has got to be one of the worst main love interests ever. how are you going to sit there and constantly choose Will Herondale over Jem Carstairs????? even when she’s with Jem, she’s still not thinking about Jem. girl open your bloody eyes Jem exists!!!
THAT COULD NOT BE ME
JEM IS RIGHT THERE
ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO CHOOSE WILL OVER JEM? NO THE FUCK YOU WONT
I’d be shoving Will out of the way and defending Jem every chance I got. leave me and my demon cat daddy alone. we don’t have time for fake curse nonsense
He shall be mopped soon
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Combat moves that would one-shot the Italians:
• Orlok - hug (obviously)
*please note: use wisely, would be lethal*
• Gil - high-kick (wouldn’t even have to hurt him with it, he’d just be too impressed/turned on to move for a while)
*see also: ask about gun specs (audhd info dump = automatic forfeit)
• Dante - bite (incapacitated by sheer disgust)
*see also: generalized schoolyard-tier bullying
*see also also: summon army of birds
• Nicola - dangle Dante before pool of lava (would drop everything to go save him like the Italian Bolt that he was always meant to be)
• Roberto: bird-blanket (would forget big mad and fall asleep)
*see also: trigger villainous monologue
• Yang: brandish the cross/star of David/aum/khanda/etc.
*see also: dowse in holy water
*see also also: trap in salt circle/tie up with red string
• Marco - threaten to drag that shit out all day (would fold ‘cause no amount of money could make him care enough)
• Oliver - show him taxes Gil filed on his own (aneurysm)
*see also: paper cut (kryptonite)
*see also also: steal his glasses (bitch move)
• Leo - take away Giulia’s cooking (would waste away within minutes)
*see also: continuous infantilization (would throw tantrum and require grounding)
*see also also: call him a poopyhead (would drown in a pool of his own tears)
*see also also also: swap gunpowder gun with water gun (would gladly water fight instead)
• Luca - swarm with mosquitos (still allergic to most waters)
back to hating debbie 😔 why does she have to fuck up so much
lord i fucking hate high school
