#biromanic

Demisexuality let’s fucking go!!

I'm concerned I might be in this weird limbo where my labels make me "not queer enough" to exclusionists online, while the number of labels (3: grey-ace, bi-romantic, nonbinary) that I use to specify my identity are labeled "too queer" by those who hold simpler/more traditional labels IRL (gay/bi/lesbian/trans).

I know microlabels & neopronouns aren't *supposed* to be stigmatized, but there is the sense that I've thought *too* hard about who I am, or would at least be better off not sharing these burdensome facts. It's not as if I'm showboating or broadcasting them at every opportunity (as I'm not the showboating type), but they just feel burdensome to others (and therefore myself.)

I don't want my friends to see me as the showboating, "special snowflake" sort, or someone who is too-easily swept-up in "online culture/trends" without thinking for oneself. I'm sorely tempted to retract what information I have shared about my identity, and to show this side of me as little as possible.

Do you have advice on how to handle this?

hmmm I have multiple thoughts on this, as someone who also has 3 labels (demisexual, panromantic trans man/ trans masc) .

First things first: I know it's easier said than done but you shouldn't be putting so much weight behind what exclusionists may think of you. Their opinions on your identity are completely irrelevant. What matters the most is your understanding of yourself. Second, I do however understand the wish for a simpler identity to explain particularly when it comes to new people or when it comes to people who may not understand due to lack of knowledge of the queer community.

The way I personally deal with such situations (and full disclosure this may not be the best way or the way that works for everybody) is that I will simply say I'm ace or gay (as I'm in a mlm relationship therefore just saying gay is easier) to new people or those with less knowledge but if somebody asks me more directly and shows an interest in knowing more about me in depth (eg. maybe they ask "so when did you know you were gay?" or something like that) I will then elaborate and give them a clearer picture on my identity. For me it often comes down to the relevance of the situation. I also have plenty of friends with complicated identities who prefer to simply go by "queer" because that's what they feel more comfortable saying. And yes, you are absolutely queer enough to identify as queer if you so wish to since you are not a cisgender heterosexual (and only being both at the same time would disqualify you).

Of course, sharing your sexual and gender identity with others is in no way an obligation. You can share as much or as little of them as you see fit on a case by case basis - please know however that wanting to share your entire identity with someone is in no way "showboating" and anyone who thinks so is wrong.

RESPECT BI PEOPLE (or get kicked)

Ya know, Ironically enough, i havent done too much LGBTQA+ art this month

I Feel kinda bad for that, so have one of my favorite cannonically Bi Women, 

ENID

Also me: