#okko

Writing this half asleep. I hope I could catch what you wanted well xx

SYNOPSIS : Yuta and you had some sort of situationship going on before he went to Africa, though he wanted something serious with you. After returned from his trip, he finds you and manages to finally confront you.

mention of injury

Friends don't link their pinkies together whenever they touch each other. Friends don't let their lips touch and dance in harmony with one another. Friends don't do what Yuta and you do, and you knew it, he knew it, everyone knew it.

That was a lie- actually- Yuta had tried, once. You had shut it down though, telling him that you were content the way things were.

Your friends think you're together and you have to tell them that you are in fact, not every single time. You'd watch as Maki would raise her eyebrow, clearly judging you, but it's not her place to interfere. Same with Inumaki, he would just narrow his eyes, send a confused '' tuna? '' your way before shrugging. Panda would just squint his eyes at you and Yuta whenever he catches you kissing or holding hands, or just together, and give you guys the biggest ' why are you two NOT official yet ' look.

To tell the truth, you've been kinda used to this. You weren't too sure about putting a label on it simply because you're afraid of committing. In your line of work, people die young and you believed that by not committing too early, if one of you were to die, it wouldn't affect you as much. You did like Yuta, you really did, but it terrified you. You didn’t want him to suffer because of you-

'' Something's bothering you, isn't it?''

The soft call of your name brought you back to the present, your cheek leaving the palm of your hand. Your eyes turned upwards, meeting concerned dark blue ones. His cheeks were slightly flushed, his hair framed his face perfectly and his eyebags were as dark as ever.

You shook your head, giving him a small smile, '' It's alright, Yuta. Nothing crazy. ''

He narrowed his eyes, clearly not believing you. He brought his chair to sit in front of your desk, taking your hand in his. '' You're doing the thing that you always do when something's bothering you. Talk to me. ''

You bit your lip, the contact of his warm and sweaty hand on yours made you feel guilty. You removed his hand from his, gently, the warmth leaving your cold hand as you stood up from your chair. Tired blue eyes followed your form, disappointed that you've refused his touch.

You stood in front of the window, back facing him, arms coming up to wrap around yourself. '' You're leaving for Africa tomorrow, right? ''

Yuta nodded, eyes resting on you, '' That's not what's actually bothering you though.. '' he said in his soft voice. You could tell he was upset that you weren't telling him what truly was going on inside your mind. You sighed.

'' How would you know? ''

'' Because I know you more than I know myself. ''

He said, voice unwavering. The sound of a chair being pushed back on hard wood was heard, footsteps getting closer to where you were standing. Neither of you said anything after that. Yuta wanted to break the silence so badly, but he didn’t, he couldn’t bring himself to.  But he should’ve, because that was the last live conversation you’ve had with him before he went to Africa, before you got caught in the mess that was shibuya.

Right as he was back, he was tasked with killing Itadori Yuji. And so, he had to get to work fast if he wanted to get to you early. After killing and healing Yuji back up, Yuta still had one more thing to do and that was to find you. You were radio silent for the past week, not answering him whether it be calls or texts. 

Thankfully you weren’t that far, you were sitting on a stool next to Maki. He ran towards you both, calling out your name first and then the green haired girl’s. He stood behind you, Maki giving him a short ‘ yo ‘ before standing up and patting you on the shoulder.

‘’ You better talk everything out or else- ‘’ she whispered to you. You gave her an eye roll as she walked away from the both of you. You both stood there in silence just like the time in that classroom, before he left. Yuta was staring, he hasn’t seen you in person in so long. A bandage covered your eye, a grim expression covered your features. Shibuya had wounded you, physically and mentally. He blames himself for not being there, had he been-

‘’ You think loudly, you know. ‘’ You said, patting the stool next to you, ‘’ I can tell you’re blaming yourself. ‘’ He sat down hesitantly. His hand came to rub the back of his neck, you’ve caught on so fast.

‘’I’m sorry.. if only I wasn’t away, I could’ve helped- ‘’

‘’ There’s nothing you could’ve done.‘’ you said, looking at how his fingers curled into his palm at your word. ‘’ You’re wrong, I could’ve helped you- in any way- I could’ve been there for you! ‘’ his voice raised a little, not enough to be considered yelling, but enough to be noticed.

‘’ Why do you even care that much? ‘’ you asked, watching as he looked taken aback by your question. He bit his lip slightly, he could feel his nails digging slightly on his palms. ‘’ What do you mean? ‘’ 

You narrowed your eyes, standing up from your seat. ‘’ You always care about what you could’ve done for me- so much like.. like we’re together or something. ‘’ At your words, his head whipped around to look at you. 

‘’ The things we do, friends don’t do what we do. How much more do I have to spell it out for you? I love you. ‘’ he said, your name falling out of his lips like candy. You didn’t reply to that, staying silent. Small beads of sweat started to build up on Yuta’s forehead, his hand shooting to grasp yours.

‘’ Are you just using me then? Do you not feel the same? Does everything we used to do mean nothing to you??!! ‘’ he said seriously, his hand holding onto your wrist firmly, now standing as well. He’s gotten stronger from the few months he’d spent away. You tried to wriggle your wrist away from him.

‘’ That’s not- ‘’

‘’ Then why do you act like you don’t want it, why are you so scared to commit??!! ‘’ 

The scariest part was that every time words came out of his mouth, there was still no anger in them. 

Frustration, yes.

Sadness, yes.

Disappointment, yes.

But pure raw anger? No.

‘’ BECAUSE I’M SCARED.. I’m scared okay- ‘’ you replied, your voice fading into a whisper. ‘’ We don’t live normal lives, Yuta. I don’t.. I’m NOT playing with your feelings. I love you, I truly do!! ‘’ 

Your index finger pointed to him and then to yourself. ‘’ But we’re not living a life that allows us to.. ‘’

Your free hand comes to rest on the bandage covering your eye, courtesy of a tall man who strangely looked like your underclassman. ‘’ We might not live long enough as sorcerers, Yuta.. scratch that- I might not.. I don’t want you to mourn me, it’d be easier for you to forget about me. ‘’ Yuta’s lip quivered, his other hand came in to grasp the one you had on your injured eye. How dare you mischaracterise him.

‘’ You don’t get to make decisions for me, that’s not your call to make- ‘’ Your teary eye shifted from the floor, onto tired blue hues. ‘’ You’re so selfish. Why would you ever think that I’d EVER forget about you. How could you- ‘’ His hands let go of yours, falling to his side.

‘’ I love you and that will never change, ever. It doesn’t matter what happens to me- to you- all of it- it doesn’t matter. ‘’ he stepped closer to you, his index finger pointed towards his chest where his heart is. ‘’ This heart beats for you and only you, how could you suggest for it not to mourn you, to forget you.. ‘’ 

His eyes held contact with your own. And that’s when you completely cracked. You threw yourself onto him, fingers clutching the back of his white uniform. You felt his hands wrap around you. Even when he was clearly upset, he still hugged you.

‘’ Yuta- I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry!!  I don’t want to hurt you - I don’t want to lie to myself anymore- ‘’ you held back a sob, ‘’ - a week ago in Shibuya I was so scared I wouldn’t see you again. ‘’ you pulled away slightly, your eye was glossy. Yuta raised his hand, thumb brushing against the bandage on your face, he wanted you to say it and so he waited.

‘’ I want to be with you Yuta- seriously this time- I want to grow old with you, I want to keep holding your hand, hugging you, kissing you.. I love you, Yuta. I’m sorry it took me so long to say it-‘’ tears were flowing freely from your eyes, the bandage getting slightly damp. Not only from your own tears but Yuta’s as well. 

‘’ You said it, ‘’ he whispered, his hands cupping your cheeks. ‘’ you actually said it, dove- ‘’ and with that you closed the gap in between the two of you, your arms sneaking to hold his neck. You’ve kissed before, plenty of times, but this one felt different.

It was your first kiss as true lovers and you couldn’t wait for the many more to come.