#biggest trap

PhD journeys are far from straightforward. They are a mixture of highs, plateaus, and lows, and after a while you instinctually know which phase you’re in or about to enter. Right now, I am going through a really stressful one, which wasn’t obvious at first, but became evident when I started developing physical signs of stress whereby my hair started falling out, I started having skin breakouts, panic attacks, and suffering from insomnia. 

I don’t have the energy or intention to go into all the reasons behind my current mental state. However, one thing that had an impact was having to revisit and rewrite my thesis timeline plan as I was grossly underestimating how long it was going to take me to produce a full draft. Underestimation of time is one of the biggest traps in a PhD, so be mindful of that when you start. My new plan takes my submission back four months, to the end of July, but it also now accounts for the time I need to work on other projects e.g. conference posters, and the time off I need to attend events like weddings, and you know, actual time off. 

Something that was also playing on my mind was my next steering group meeting, due to go ahead in a few weeks time. I felt that at this stage of my PhD, I didn’t have much to offer at the meeting, which put me under a lot of pressure to perform. After discussing my concerns with my supervisors, we have agreed that the best course of action is to move this meeting to November, which has lifted a big weight off my shoulders. 

Today, I also had another meeting with my thesis mentor, which allowed me to vent and talk through some of the issues I’m facing with someone who isn’t directly related to my project or my life, which was really helpful. 

Aside from the above, exercise, and trying to eat well, I have been upping my minimalism game to cope. Over the weekend my other half and I decluttered some things in our living room, which I have listed for sale. Decluttering our space and being more intentional with how we fill it makes us feel like we have more space to breathe, focus, and concentrate our attention on things that really matter. Additionally, having regular walks to the post office to ship sold items has been a great help in breaking up my WFH day, and the extra cash has also been a nice bonus.

There is an assumption in society that you have to own a lot of fancy things to have any sort of status, a social circle, or be successful. I can tell you from my own experience that I met some of the most significant people in my life when I had nothing, and as far as I’m aware, having nice clothes was never what defined my success. 

Anyway, it’s been a long day, it’s only Monday, and I still have a lot to do!

Remember to rest!  Photo: Mood. Source: Tumblr.