#bigg1999

It doesn't seem to matter what kind of story I post, there's always a rabid hater. Trans Lexa is a fedish, Trans Clarke is erasing Lexa's lesbianism, Clarke having past relationships, is her being a whore, Lexa having a abusive father is taking away from her being a strong character.

It honestly takes away from the joy of writing when the only type of comment I can depend on, is one saying I'm a shitty person for writing such a story.

Oof, sorry you're dealing with the trolls buddy 😞

My advice for troll/hate comments will forever be to not respond and delete them. They do not want to try and see the other side or even understand the basis of dont like dont read and let people write whatever the fuck they want. Misery loves company and truth be told the trolls going around are a bunch of pathetic transphobes and biphobes, they seem to get off on pissing off writers, they want attention, and they want to try and get you mad enough to delete the things you worked hard on. I know its very much easier said than done, but when i get hate comments i see them as a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. Its funny, in a pathetic way. Like those poor things really can't rub 2 braincells together and make a coherent argument that isn't "bi woman whore, lesbian strong and never suffers, dick is man vagina is woman". I wouldn't take valid writing criticism from a toddler so i sure as hell aint taking it from trolls with no reading interpretation skills.

I can totally understand how its absolutely unmotivating to get those comments. Ive seen a lot of recent fics be deleted because of them and its disheartening seeing how not only are people commenting less but how at this point posting a fic in the fandom needs to come with a warning of how you might get hate comments from a puritan shithead who believes themselves some sort of savior of the shit when in reality they are just helping kill a fandom. Im sorry that i dont really have any other advice for you, but if there is something i recommend is the no engage/delete comments. They might get tired, they might not. But the truth is that getting a response will always, always make them come back because they now know they can hit a nerve.

Hi. Most people probably have no idea who I am, in my own little corner of the fandom. I’m a writer, I’ve been writing Clexa for about five years now. When I was 18, in 2017, I wrote a story I will forever wish I hadn’t. I attempted to put large idea’s into a place where they didn’t belong, and I used to holocaust as a setting for it.

My idea at the time was to humanize the Nazi’s, to attempt to draw a line between them and the alt-right Trump supporters of the time. That those who we know and love, are capable of doing monstrous acts.  Of course I received a lot of negative feedback for such a fic, for making one of our favorite women be a Nazi. I deserved the feedback I got. I deserved everything that fic got, honestly.

I was also 18, and it was my first time dealing with a fic getting any real feedback, and I panicked. I orphaned the story, hoping to forget about it. Of course, I didn’t. And neither did those unfortunate enough to have read it. 

I tried to defend myself, to explain what my goal was, without realized that my goal was irrelevant. It was insensitive and downright shitty of me to write about such a loaded topic, to put some fictional characters into the shoes of very real people. To use such an event as merely a setting for my own ideas. 

I hope nobody knows what story I am talking about, and I ask you do not go looking for it. It is disgraceful. I hate my past self for not understanding how wrong it was. For the shitty way I tried to defend myself, blaming mental illness for not understand how terrible it was. I didn’t even realize G*psy was a slur at the time, and used that word to try to defend myself. Said it was okay because I learned from it. 

It wasn’t an okay story to make. I am sorry.

I am sorry in ways I can’t express. I wish I could take it down, to make everybody forget about it. To go back in time and listen to the ‘hate’ comments. I wish I hadn’t been so sensitive and would’ve listened to learn instead of listening to defend. 

I try to write happy stories now, with Clexa ending up happy and taking on the world together. I normally write Trans!Lexa, and write her as a real trans woman. I hope that when people see my name, they think of Stardust. 

The recent hate on my newest story made me reflect on myself, on my past. My current story isn’t deserving of the hate it got/is getting, but I do deserve all/any hate I do get. 

I’m sorry. 

I promise I won’t make those same mistakes, and I promise to take full ownership of any mistakes I do make. 

Like I said, please don’t go looking for the fic. Just know this apology should’ve come years sooner. However, if you wish to see the fucked up shit I wrote, I will send you the story (not a link. I do not want this story to accidently end up showing up for any unsuspecting victim). 

Posted! Here it is! I wasn't sure how to do it, but I tried my best!

2. lighter or matches?

Matches! I love the sound when you strike a match and since I only really use it for candles, it feels very comforting :)

4. which cryptyd being do you believe in?

Alycia Debnam-Carey the true cryptyd herself fdsfmdskf No but in all seriousness I believe most, if not all, cryptyds have some truth to them and while I don't believe they are supernatural beings I highly believe they might exist, we don't fucking know what's crawling in the woods or in the water. Like mothman could very easily be a big weird bat, but I don't think it has a claimed bridge and gets pissy when people yell at it yah know?

44. you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

Everytime I turn on the news the answer changes, rotating rich awful people and horrible politicians in my head like a weird shooting range sdjfbskdjfb

Hi :D

🛠 What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

For actual writing, I use google docs and word! But I also use Notion and a writing notebook to jot down things and help with any world bulding :)

❌️ What's a trope you will never write?

Hm, for some reason this one is hard 🤔 if we are talking generic tropes, I will probably never write a cheating au, like actual Lexa and Clarke cheating on each other (i have one where there's a misunderstanding). If we are talking about in fandom tropes, then pregnant Clarke is something I will never write 😅

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

I outline! Not as obsessively as I did before but I do get lost when I don't have an idea as to where the fic is going. Sometimes I outline so much that I fail to take into consideration how long each bullet point will be tho 😅 (To Birth a Queendom is about 15 pages of outline.... the first chapter that is posted is only half a page of the outline........)

Hello dear Anon! Sorry for the delay in answering.

To pick a favorite would be impossible, I love so many of my stories so much, which is why I've been writing the majority of them so many years. So I'm going to gush about my favorites, and why you should check them all out, haha.

To recommend to a reader, it would depend on what you enjoy.

I'm always pushing people to read Stardust. It's got so many good issues tied up in it, I feel like it could benefit people to read such a storyline, but, I know some people are not into the idea of transgender storylines, which, Stardust features pretty heavily. (In the same vein, there's also Screw Stardust, which is the same base storyline, only I've flipped who is trans, which is a WIP, but, I also love it so much)

If you want more canonverse Clexa, I just finished Depths of Love (which I assume is how you've found me, haha). It's unlike any of my other AUs, and has such an amazing idea. Like, I can not get over the storyline, and honestly, would love to see how one of the other talented writers in the fandom would write the same idea. I can not get over the fact it hasn't been done before, and a very special thanks to @sassymajesty for giving me the inspiration to finish it (three years later, but, oh well).

Then I'd say if you want soft and a lot of fluff, check out Softball. It's nowhere close to done, and I don't know if it will ever be, but it's such a soft idea of high school kids growing up and dealing with challenges and Clexa realizing their feelings for each other. It's honestly my most detailed fic, I have like, five pages worth of outlining for it, and a chapter by chapter guide set up, but it's just finding the time and the motivation to write it.

Then, if you're in the mood for some smut, I'd recommend Create Stardust. It's not really a fic, just a future of Screw Stardust (An AU of Stardust, haha) and it does feature Transgender Clarke, which, again, isn't for everybody, but, I think it's just so soft and one of my most beautifully written pieces. And, it's pretty hot, if I do say so myself, haha.

And then, (last rec, I swear) I would say Not the End if you want some angst. Lots of angst, and lots to come. It's a WIP, and nowhere close to done. Starts off full of confusion and hardships, and then realizes the truth, and trying to make sense and understand it from both sides. I don't think enough people start it with an open mind, and are too quick to hate Clarke, but, yeah. It's so fun writing this storyline and seeing how these complex characters deal with their impossible situations. It's not my best writing, but I'm enjoying it.

Then, last but not least, ones that are my favorites, but I wouldn't recommend as a reader (but I'm more than willing to gush about). Keep Holdin' On - This is angst city. It's so sad and I wrote it about 20 different times whenever I just needed a good cry. Not a deep story, but damn, it tugs at the heartstrings, well, mine at least. Not a lady - Game of Thrones AU. It's very different and very fun to write, but I have no idea how to tie my idea's together. I want Clarke to be so much more than a whore, but I have no idea how to make that fit into the GOT universe without changing everything about it. I've got a few ideas, but, I wouldn't recommend waiting around for me to figure it out, haha. Traitors - Harry Potter AU. I LOVE this idea. Griffins vs Woods. Griffins known for, well, Griffindor, and Woods are known for Slytherin, and Clexa coming in and BOTH of them 'ruining' their family's reputation? Clarke, who's always thought of herself as better than, always seen Slytherin as evil, slowly coming to realize, when she's placed into Slytherin, that maybe, things aren't always black and white? Poor baby Lexa, who was already the outcast in her family, giving them even more reason, now a Griffindor. GAH, just talking about it makes me wanna write it, honestly. I need to sit down and make a plan for a story, more than just them being little gay beans (or do I? Honestly, do I?)