when all you see about your existence is how annoying or difficult or unmanageable it must be, it gets grating. we have NEVER seen a polyfrag post get anywhere close to our amount of members, because apparently anything over 1,500 is completely unmentionable. and even then, polyfragmented medians, spiritual systems, or people who have always been polyfrag are just not talked about.

our most modest estimate is that we have 100,000 members. our more accurate estimate is probably around 500,000. and there is systems who are WAY larger than this, somebody reading this is probably pushing the concept of infinity to a newfound limit!

outside of community spaces, the medical journals about polyfragmentation are so clinical, exclusive, and honestly inaccurate a lot of the time. there's more to multiplicity than just hosts and protectors and persecutors and fully-fledged people who can still somehow be boiled down to a convenient, palatable archetype. (i have thoughts on roles but that will be another post)

so many systems don't or can't have defined or consistent roles, origins, identities, internal communication, switches, structure, innerworlds, amnesia, opinions, etc (or have these things at all!!!) and expecting polyfrag systems to fit into the already narrow and stigmatized definition of what you think a system should be is honestly just plain screwed up.

this is messy and there's a lot more i want to say, but mecfs is kicking my ass, so...

Hi, we have a question for other (formerly) “big” systems (”big” as self-identified, don’t need to put a number on it for the sake of this conversation), because our therapist seems to think that one of the reasons our progress stagnates is that our system size (number of system mates) stays the same and doesn’t go down and some of us actively stop that number from changing. And I know it’s a problem and we do want to change it eventually, but tbh it’s not our biggest problem? I think? (we and our therapist also disagree on how to get to that point, she wants to do it against some misguided system mates’ objections, we want to first convince everyone that it’s ok before we actually do it)

btw our therapist knows her stuff about DID and knows us for a very long time, 9 years now I think, so she’s not just saying it out of ignorance. I still think she’s wrong but idk, we might be wrong too.

So, idk, what do y’all other “big” or formerly big systems think - was/is reducing system size important for your recovery? Is holding on to a really big number of system mates such a roadblock to recovery that one should go “headfirst through a wall” to try and change that number? What are your experiences with this? Did your system size change and what does that mean for you? Does it stay high and is that a huge problem for you or not?

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