#bibuckleydiaz

The first thing that goes right is that he manages to book a ride that’s only three minutes out.

“I’m sorry everything’s such a mess today, buddy,” he says, turning around to look at Christopher. “Looks like we’re taking an Uber to school.”

“Okay,” Christopher says, unbothered. “Will you be late for work?”

Eddie winces. “Maybe a little. But it’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

He considers Ubering into work too, but he still has a few bills to pay and while he could technically afford it, he really doesn’t want to pay two Ubers in one day. So once they’re in the car, he sends a text to Buck, hoping to catch him before he leaves for work.

Hey can you pick me up at chris’ school? Everything went wrong today and we’re on our way there in an uber. I’ll tell cap

Less than a minute later, Buck has texted back, be there in 20! hang tight, and Eddie breathes out.

Next, he calls Bobby, who picks up after just two rings.

“Eddie?” he says instead of a greeting, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just one of those days,” Eddie says. “Having childcare and car troubles at the same time. Buck’s helping me get to work, but it means we’ll both be a little late today. 15 or 20 minutes, if traffic is normal.”

“Thanks for the heads up,” Bobby says. “I can ask two of the C shift to stay behind in case we get called out that early, you two just get here safely when you can. No going over the speed limit, you hear me?”

Eddie laughs a little, feeling lighter than he has all morning. “Okay, thanks, Bobby. No speeding, I’ll make sure.”

And last, he calls the school to let them know they’ll be a few minutes late but are on their way.

Buck is already there when they arrive at Christopher’s school, leaning against his jeep with his arms crossed in front of his chest and looking like an absolute dream. He pushes off the car with a smile when he sees them, and Christopher opens his door and calls, “Buck!”

“Hey, buddy!” Buck calls back, and Eddie rushes through a thanks to their driver and gets out of the car too.

When he gets to their side, Buck is handing Christopher a lunch box. “I packed you some snacks in case you didn’t have time to have breakfast and get hungry before lunch.”

“Thanks, Buck,” Christopher says, and Buck ruffles his hair before he quickly puts the box inside Christopher’s backpack.

“The first bell rang just as you were pulling up, do you want a lift to make it in time for the second?”

Chris thinks about it for a second, always eager to do things on his own, but his dislike of being late clearly wins out. “Okay,” he says and shrugs off his backpack. “Here, you can carry my bag and crutches, Dad.”

Eddie laughs and takes them, watching with a smile as Buck slings a shrieking Christopher over his shoulder and takes off running towards the school. He follows at a more leisurely pace and catches up with them at the door, where they’re talking to a teacher checking Chris off her list.

Buck transfers Christopher onto his back for a piggyback ride and Eddie follows behind them, waving at the teacher with a smile.

“Hi, Mr Diaz,” she says. “Your partner already explained everything, you can go inside with them.”

“Thanks,” Eddie says, a little stuck on the way she said “your partner”. But Buck and Christopher are already almost at the door to Chris’ classroom, so he hurries after them.

“Alright, here we are,” Buck tells Christopher, setting him down on his feet. “And just in time, too.”

Eddie helps Christopher put his backpack on and hands him his crutches. “Have a good day, kid.”

“Bye Dad, bye Buck,” Christopher says distractedly, already halfway through the door of his classroom.

“See you later, buddy,” Buck calls after him, then turns to look at Eddie. “Okay, race you back to the car?”

Eddie rolls his eyes but follows anyway when Buck takes off running, calling out a “Sorry, we’re in a rush!” to the confused teacher by the door.

Eddie’s still a little breathless by the time Buck pulls out of the parking lot, but so is Buck, wiping his brow and grinning at Eddie.

“You told Bobby we’d be late, right?” he asks, glancing at the time. “Because work starts…now.”

“I did,” Eddie says. “He made me promise you wouldn’t speed, so don’t, okay?”

“Okay, okay,” Buck laughs. “You are both such dads. Anyway, grab that bag in the backseat, would you?”

Eddie twists in his seat and reaches for the paper bag behind him, bringing it to the front. “What is it?”

“I got you a breakfast sandwich,” Buck says without taking his eyes off the road, all casual, like his words don’t immediately steal the breath from Eddie’s lungs. He gestures towards the thermos in the cupholder. “And that is a fresh coffee, I figured when you texted that everything went wrong this morning, you would have made sure to feed Christopher something but probably didn’t have time for yourself. Right?”

“Buck,” Eddie croaks, unable to form any other words. He thinks his voice is saying a lot, though.

Buck turns to him with a smile. “Eat your breakfast, Eds.”

I love you, Eddie thinks, and then he takes a big bite of his sandwich to stop the words from spilling out. He’s known, is the thing, but it doesn’t always hit him over the head the way it did now.

They don’t talk while Eddie eats, Buck just hums along tunelessly to the radio as he drives, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. He looks content and beautiful and not at all like he realizes that what he did today was a big deal for Eddie.

He’s not used to asking for help, and he’s definitely not used to being taken care of. But Buck has helped Eddie without needing to be asked so many times he makes asking feel less scary. And he takes care of Eddie, and of Christopher, in a way that never feels patronizing to Eddie, or like he’s saying Eddie can’t do it on his own. He just supports him, and cares.

Eddie swallows his last bite, wipes his fingers and crumples up the napkin. The coffee Buck made for him tastes exactly like he takes it, and Eddie can picture Buck in his kitchen, making coffee for Eddie and snacks for Christopher before rushing out to meet them at Chris’ school like it’s nothing.

Maybe it’s nothing to Buck, but it’s everything to Eddie.

“Buck,” he says again, and Buck glances at him for a second before looking back at the road. He doesn’t say anything, gives Eddie the time to form words. “Thank you. I didn’t…you didn’t have to…I just needed a ride.”

“And I’m glad you asked me,” Buck replies. “I had the time to get you both something to eat, it’s no big deal.”

“But it is to me,” Eddie insists, because Buck doesn’t get it.

Buck looks over at him again, eyebrows drawn in confusion. “Hey, I’ve got your back, remember?”

“Yeah,” Eddie says, and to his embarrassment it comes out sounding choked up.

Buck’s expression morphs into something slightly alarmed. “Eds? You okay?”

“I love you,” Eddie blurts out. “I’m in love with you.”

The car swerves to the left before Buck catches himself, hands tight around the steering wheel. “Jesus, Eddie, you can’t tell me that while I’m driving.”

Eddie groans, hiding his face in his hands. “Sorry, I’m sorry, can we just pretend I never said anything, I don’t expect anything from you-”

“I don’t want to pretend you didn’t tell me,” Buck says, and when Eddie looks up, Buck’s looking at him with wide eyes full of wonder. There’s hope there, too, and love, Eddie is pretty sure. His heart lifts and he can feel a smile stretching his face at the same time as he watches one grow on Buck’s face.

“You don’t?”

“No,” Buck says, grinning now, and his eyes are still on Eddie.

“Eyes on the road,” Eddie says softly and Buck laughs, turning his head forward. Instead, he blindly reaches out a hand and grabs Eddie’s thigh.

A shiver runs through Eddie and he places his own hand on top of Buck’s, who turns his around so Eddie can entangle their fingers.

“You’re such an asshole for telling me this in the car,” Buck complains through his smile, “right before a shift too!”

“Sorry,” Eddie says, but all he feels is light. “I take it this isn’t bad news?”

“No, because obviously I love you too,” Buck says like it should’ve been obvious all along, like Eddie didn’t spend months worrying that his feelings were gonna ruin their friendship.

Buck squeezes his hand and Eddie brings their joined hands up to his mouth so he can press a kiss to Buck’s knuckles, feeling a little like he’s a helium balloon about to fly off into the sky.

“Fuck,” Buck whispers, sounding breathless. “I want to kiss you so much.”

“Feeling’s mutual,” Eddie mumbles, kissing each of Buck’s fingers and the back of his hand.

“Eddie,” Buck says, strangled, “if you don’t stop I’m gonna crash this car.” Eddie drops his hand, flushing bright red, but Buck fumbles for his again immediately. “No, you can hold my hand, just-”

“No kisses, got it,” Eddie grins, wrapping both of his hands around Buck’s.

“I’m just trying to keep your promise to Bobby,” Buck says. “And I would’ve already pulled over if we weren’t supposed to be at work 15 minutes ago. Why’d you have to do this now?”

“Because you obliterated every last barrier I still had left! How do you expect me to still have a brain to mouth filter when you…when you bring me and my kid breakfast, and pick me up at the drop of a hat, and just- just.” Eddie blinks, realization sinking in. “Love me.”

Buck laughs at Eddie’s tone. “Yeah, you just got that, didn’t you? I haven’t been subtle for a while.”

“Neither have I! I was just, well, scared. What if we mess this up, Buck? You’re my best friend, and then there’s Christopher-”

“I would never leave Christopher, even if this doesn’t work out,” Buck says, “I promise. But honestly, at least from my side…you’re it, Eddie. Both of you. I can’t predict the future, but I don’t see me ever wanting something else.”

Through the haze of the tears in his eyes, Eddie sees the familiar exit to the station, and it’s about time, because if he doesn’t get his mouth on Buck within the next two minutes, he will explode. But also-

“I have so much baggage,” he mumbles, “I can’t ask you to-”

“You’re not asking,” Buck interrupts, “I already love you anyway, including all of your baggage. Of which I have plenty too, by the way.”

Eddie laughs wetly. “Okay. Okay, yeah. And it’s the same for me, in case that wasn’t clear. I want this to be my last first kiss.”

“Way to put the pressure on, Diaz,” Buck says, haphazardly parks the jeep halfway across two parking spots, and cups Eddie’s face between both of his huge hands. “But you’re such a romantic.”

Eddie laughs, dizzy with happiness and want, and grabs Buck by his shirt to tug him in.

Their noses knock painfully, but Buck tilts his head just so, and – it’s still messy, Eddie’s mouth half-open on a laugh and Buck’s grin too big, and Eddie doesn’t believe in signs from the universe and all that, but the second their lips meet, he knows he will never kiss anyone else.

They’re both a little frantic, now that they finally get to touch, and Eddie wants to touch Buck everywhere at once, his hands moving from his chest to his neck to his face, to his hair, his shoulders, arms and waist. Eventually, as their kisses slow and soften, Eddie’s hands settle too, one on the side of Buck’s neck, the other flat against his chest.

The middle console is digging uncomfortably into his leg and he can’t get as close as he wants to, but he still never wants to stop. Somewhere in the back of his mind though, he’s aware that they’re parked in plain sight of their place of work, where they should be right now.

“We’re late for work,” he whispers regretfully, barely pulling away.

Buck brushes another kiss to his lips before he turns his head away. Then he grins and nods towards the empty app bay. “Either C shift isn’t even back, or they’re already out on a call anyway. Let’s be later.”

Buck leans against the doorframe of Christopher’s room and watches him hunched over his desk, scribbling with colored pencils. A fond smile plays on his lips when Chris’ tongue slips out the corner of his mouth. It’s a habit he picked up whenever he’s really focused on something.

Buck knocks on the doorframe to get his attention and Chris’ head snaps up. Immediately, his arm goes over the paper he was drawing on.

“What are you up to?” Buck asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Nothing,” Chris leans further over the desk to hide his creation.

“Is that for your dad?”

Chris nods, a shy smile spreading on his face. “Yes, but no one is allowed to see.”

“So secretive,” Buck chuckles. “I’m sure he’s going to love it. Come on, I think we’re all set for our picnic.”

Chris neatly tucks the paper he was working on in a drawer and stands. “Are you sure there’s anything edible?”

“One way to find out, bud,” Buck says with a smile. “Lead the way.”

~

All jokes aside, the picnic Eddie planned for them is incredible. Their dinner consisted of a cheese plate with crackers and fruit, turkey and pesto paninis, with Buck’s favorite carrot cake for dessert—no raisins, no nuts, and loaded with cream cheese frosting. It was all dutifully purchased and packed by Eddie Diaz himself from their favorite local cafe.

It’s a warm June night and the three of them are spread out in their backyard on a tartan blanket. It’s one that Eddie picked out; blues and grays to match Buck’s eyes. No one is allowed to touch it without explicit permission from Eddie, which is why Buck was surprised to find it spread out in the grass.

“It’s a special night,” was all Eddie said when confronted. Buck just shrugged it off.

They’re laying on their backs looking up at the stars, having just finished their dessert, when Chris suddenly bolts upright.

“Buck, I need you to come with me. It’s important.” Chris’ tone is very serious. Buck looks over at Eddie who just shrugs. He waves them away, tucking an arm behind his head, and closes his eyes.

Chris drags Buck inside and stops him in the living room.

“Okay, wait right here. I have a few more finishing touches to make.” Chris disappears into his room and Buck waits, standing just where Chris left him.

A few minutes later, he returns with a shy smile. “Okay, I’m ready for you to see it.”

Chris holds out a folded piece of construction paper and Buck takes it. Chris nods and Buck opens it up, forgetting to read the front of the card. Inside is a picture of the three of them—Buck, Chris, and Eddie—outside on a picnic blanket. It’s very reminiscent of the night they just had, making Buck smile.

The wording on the inside of the card seems a little off to Buck at first, but Chris didn’t ask for his help so he brushes it off as kids being kids. Eddie would love anything Chris made for him and there’s no way in hell Buck is going to ruin the spirit of his favorite kid by correcting his grammar. So he puts on his biggest smile and crouches so he’s eye-level with him.

“Chris, this is really amazing. When are you gonna give it to him?”

Chris’ eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. “I just did.”

Buck blinks. “Wh–uh…wait, this is for me?”

“Yeah.” Chris’ voice is small. He looks down at his feet and Buck takes another look at the card.

He reads it. Then he reads it again.

“To my Bonus Dad,” it says on the front. Inside, it reads: “I’m sure you had lots of other kids to choose from, but I’m glad you chose me. Happy Father’s Day. I love you - Christopher.”

Tears prick his eyes as the realization sets in and Buck blinks rapidly to stave them off. It’s ineffective and soon his cheeks are wet with a relentless flow of tears.

“This is…mine?” Buck hiccups.

“Happy Father’s Day,” Chris says.

Buck opens his mouth a few times, but the words seem to stick in his throat. Instead, he pulls Chris tightly to his chest and plants a hard kiss to the top of his head.

“Chris…thank you,” Buck sobs into his curls. “I love you so much.”

“You like it?” His voice is muffled in Buck’s shoulder.

Buck huffs out a laugh and squeezes Chris just a little harder. “Of course I do. I’m gonna frame it.”

Chris squeezes him back just as tight.

~

Buck leaves Chris in the living room to queue up the movie and returns to Eddie in their backyard. He drops down to his knees and face plants right into Eddie’s lap.

“Did you know about this?” Buck’s voice wobbles as he holds up the card.

Eddie chuckles and pushes a hand through Buck’s hair, taking the card with the other. “I did.”

“Yeah, well, you could have warned me!” His voice is muffled as he buries his face in Eddie’s thigh.

“I told you it was a special night! Besides, I couldn’t deprive myself of this blubbering mess.”

Buck whines. He hasn’t stopped crying. “He considers me his bonus dad.”

“You are his bonus dad, Buck. You have been for years now.”

“Even before? Come on, Eddie–”

“Hey, don’t you dare self-deprecate on me right now.” Eddie pulls his hair lightly as a warning and Buck tucks his face further into the fabric of Eddie’s jeans.

“Buck, there’s no one else–”

“–you trust with him more than me, yeah, I know.”

“That’s not what I was gonna say.”

Buck turns his head to face Eddie and quirks his eyebrow at him in question.

“I was going to say that there’s no one else that loves him like you do. Of course you’re his dad. How could you ever, for a second, think any different?”

Buck stares up at him with wonder in his eyes. Eddie’s hand comes down to brush a tear off his cheek. He hands the card back to Buck. He turns onto his back and opens it up once more.

“Come on,” Eddie rubs the center of his chest and shifts underneath him. “Let’s go watch a movie with our son.”

Our son, oh no. Eddie gets up and Buck lets his head drop to the ground. How does Eddie do this? How is he ever going to be around Chris again without promptly dissolving into tears?

Buck makes grabby hands and Eddie helps him to his feet. Eddie laces their fingers together and tugs Buck closer.

“Happy Father’s Day, Buck,” Eddie presses the words against his lips and Buck feels his knees go weak.

~

Once back inside, they settle in on the couch and Chris presses play on the movie. He snuggles deep into the cushions, tucked between the two of them. Buck’s eyes are on the screen, but he’s very aware of Chris next to him. It takes every ounce of self control for him to not pull Chris into his lap and bury his nose in his soft curls and never let him go. Needless to say, Buck puts more focus into Finding Nemo than he ever has before.

He has always shed a tear or two at the opening scene. Who hasn’t? But as he sits there watching Marlin cradling the only remaining egg, Chris curls into his side and wraps an arm across his stomach. A lump forms in his throat that he can’t seem to swallow down. He feels Eddie’s eyes on him, but he can’t look back.

He knows the next words, he could recite them forwards and backwards with how many times they’ve watched the movie together. But they have never held a personal meaning to him before.

Now, they do.

“It’s okay, Daddy’s here. Daddy’s got you.”

Buck pulls Chris tighter to his side and immediately gives in to a fresh wave of tears just in time for the next line.

eddie winced, crossing his arms as he cleared his throat a little, trying to keep his voice down. “i wasn’t going to tell you because i didn’t want to worry you.” he answered, regretting his choice of words in the instant he’d said them. buck simply let out a laugh that bordered on hysterical, scrubbing at a plate with so much brute force eddie was worried about it shattering, but honestly he couldn’t blame buck for the frustration he knew he was more than likely feeling. after all, he’d been in buck’s position more often than he’d like to admit, but they both knew and acknowledged that that was simply the nature of their jobs. it didn’t really make it any easier, knowing someone you love was putting themselves in the line of danger every day, but it allowed eddie to compartmentalise it. allowed him to file it into the box for eddie diaz to deal with so that firefighter diaz was all business at work.

eddie sighed, crossing the kitchen to place a hand on buck’s back. “angel-“

“don’t, eddie. i don’t want to talk right now.” buck spat, scrubbing at the glass he was cleaning even harder than before. “i’ll talk to you when i’m done with these dishes.” eddie knew what buck was doing, he knew buck liked to calm himself down before speaking. knew he wanted to speak with intent and never wanted to say something he’d later regret. but, eddie didn’t want that this time. he wanted buck’s true feelings, because he knew that if he left it, buck would talk himself out of saying something he needed to on the off chance it hurt eddie’s feelings, and the thought of that tore him up inside. so, eddie pushed.

“yeah, no, we’re not doing that, we’re talking about this now.” eddie declared, reaching over to turn the tap off. buck whirled around, his shoulders tensing and his lips pressed into a thin line. eddie could tell he’d hit a nerve and, for once, he wasn’t concerned. there’d been something permeating their relationship for months now, some unspoken crack that had been growing wider and wider, something coming between them. this discussion had been a long time coming.

“eddie,” buck warned, beginning to pull the washing gloves off. “this isn’t how we do this. give me some time to cool off and we’ll-”

“i know this isn’t how we do things, buck,” eddie said, frustration within himself swelling now that he wasn’t trying to keep it down, “but we can’t ignore our feelings any longer!”

the silence after eddie’s outburst seemed to stretch on for forever, when buck spoke out of the blue.

“did that make you feel better?”

“what?” eddie asked, taken aback by the seemingly irrelevant question.

“you heard me,” buck replied, slinging a dishcloth over his shoulder as he leant back against the counter, crossing his arms. “did that make you feel better? communicating, i mean.”

“well- i mean, i guess so.” eddie replied, confusion clear on his face.

“that’s all i want eddie, you to talk to me.” buck sighed, tension bleeding out of him as he steps around the counter, placing his hands gently onto eddie’s shoulders, thumbs pressing into the creases of his collarbone. “i don’t care if it upsets me. i love you, it’s my job to be in this with you. and if that means i get a little bit upset every now and then, if that’s the consequence for being with you, then so be it.”

eddie simply stared at buck stunned, blinking rapidly a few times before wetting his lips. he closed the gap between them, winding his arms around buck’s waist and tucking his head under buck’s chin as he sighed. his chest was bursting at the seams with all the words he wanted to say, whispers of i love you and i don’t deserve you and you’re it for me bouncing against his lungs, trying to squeeze through his ribcage. he somehow manages to fold them up into a neat, little package, and what comes out instead is;