#beyond nowhere

The air smelt of flower perfumes, cheap plastic hair clips and glitter. Nekro knew he found the right place.

Before him were the gates to the one and only shop that could answer his fruitless (or well, fruitless so far) calls. The store that seemed to pride itself with having a huge selection of hair accessories in every shade of pink possible, as well as jewelry, phone cases and all of the plushies made out of questionable materials. Especially however, Nekro nodded at the sight of “we do all kinds of piercings!” signs. Oh, how beautiful Claire’s truly was.

The mall seemed to operate on normal hours, however Nekro didn’t see anyone of note around him. Most of the places seemed abandoned and the stores didn’t even open. The only other store of note, not to mention actually opened was the Hot Topic right before Claire’s. Which was another step in Nekro’s adventure in this mall.

Weirdly, Nekro felt a dash of nostalgia, coming by the Hot Topic. What was it caused by, he had no idea.

He shook his head and concentrated on the purple sign before him. The business was there to be done and there was no way around it. With a quick and confident step, he had approached Claire’s in all of its glory.

Even if there was no time to waste, Nekro decided he needed to waste some time. Rummaging through the aisles, he was in wonder of all the glittery goodness before him. The butterfly clips of his had long been worn out, so it was maybe a good time to replace them… Oh, and the cheapest necklaces in the world would look wonderfully on his neck! So much to choose, so little to actually come by. Ah dammit, didn’t his blue eyes sparkle at the prospect of getting a new plastic choker too.

Maybe it was just Nekro’s way of delaying the inevitable. Not that Nekro was scared per se, but it did accustom some kind of dread in his heart. Just this morning he was looking at the possible outcomes at his dusty old computer. Nekro’s expression changed. The things he had seen happen to these people were not to be un-unseen.

Well. Good thing that Nekro wasn’t even a person.

So with all the braveness he could muster, he strolled in a Jojo-like stride right to the cash registers. Not like his almost boyfriend Joel (called by Nekro in every possible occasion as Jojo) but well, uh. You get the idea.

But there was no one to be seen. As if along with the lack of customers, this Claire’s also lacked any kind of staff. Nekro looked around, up and down but there truly was no one to be found. Annoyed and disappointed, Nekro was ready to retreat back to wherever the hell he was living at, some kind of cage or anything, to write a flaming hot review at the franchise’s site–

“HI, welcome to Claire’s! What can I do for ya?”

A perky voice cut through the atmosphere filled with late 90’s boy bands' music. Nekro let out a muffled scream. Cause before him, seemingly out of nowhere materialized a person. A guy with salt and pepper hair, piercing green eyes and a smile akin to the Cheshire cat. Wearing the signature Claire’s t-shirt in fact.

Nekro’s eyes shifted at the sight, “How? What?? HOW did you get here?”

The man, his now materialized as well name plate said “Oscar”, tapped his finger right at the chin, “I’ve been there all along, Nekro. You just need to also visit Vision Express to check your eyesight. It’s on the second floor.”

Oh, his eyesight was good alright. Especially noticing that Oscar’s nails were painted with the shittiest pink glitter nail polish, also sold by Claire’s. Nekro shuddered with disgust. He did only one coat.

“No. I’m pretty sure you weren’t there,” Nekro said with certainty.

“Hi, welcome to Claire’s!” he chirped back, almost as if it was a recording rather than a maybe living, maybe breathing maybe person. “I’m Oscar, how can I brighten up your day?”

Nekro blinked several times, “I am here to pierce my ears.”

“Excellent choice! Ears or nose?”

“Ears.”

“Are you sure not nose?” Oscar asked again.

“No.”

“Hmm. I have just what you need, loyal customer!”

He then winked with both eyes back at him, once more descending back to the depths of his trailer, called the cash register. Before Nekro could ask any additional questions, Oscar had emerged again. With something quite peculiar in his hands.

“What the hell?” Nekro felt his sweat drip at his neck. “Are you going to shoot me?? Ehm, is there any security at all???”

“Ohohoh, fret not, ocean blue!” Oscar waved his hand in a way akin to how author’s friend Piotr communicated to her irl that people they were currently talking about were gay. However then Oscar’s face got more serious as the shadows surrounded his face. “Not this time.”

Nekro gulped. Very very loudly, “My eyes aren’t even ocean blue, they’re like I dunno, space blue or Prussian blue.”

“Yeah yeah yeah. Anyways, that’s not a real gun, dumb-dumb, it’s a piercing gun,” he explained shortly, waving the gun around.

“Cool.”

“Yeah. Tight. Sooo, do you wanna get started?” Oscar pointed the suspicious gun right at him.

“I mean, I guess?” Nekro answered. There was no way out of this situation and definitely not out of this strange man’s vision.

With a snap of Oscar’s fingers, Nekro had sat down. Literally, he just snapped his fingers and suddenly, Nekro was placed in some kind of chair with the spotlight placed on him. Then the chair changed to a one with wheels, maybe so he would be able to escape it. Either way, his fate was sealed and all Nekro could do was to await his judgment.

Once more Oscar had approached him, shrouded by shadows casted on his face. How the hell did he keep doing it, he couldn’t explain. But Nekro awaited the call, awaiting the final moments of his piercingless life to end.

Approaching him, Oscar changed the hand which held the gun and squished Nekro’s cheeks, “Are you ready?”

“Suuure, let’s go.”

There was little to no enthusiasm in Nekro’s voice. In his mind, he just pleaded to get those rose earrings he had been wishing for, for the longest time. Oh, they definitely eased the pain some more.

“Oookay, so on 10?” he asked and seeing Nekro nod, he had started. “One… Two… Three… Sixty nine… Uhh, seven…”

One click and it was all done. One click of the most painful thing Nekro had felt in his entire life.

“AAAHHH, JASNY CHUJ!” Nekro yelled, unsure what language he had called it in. “You said you’d go on 10.”

Oscar shrugged, “I got bored. I’ll be at the cash register, if you won’t come there in like 2 minutes, I’ll be legally allowed to kill you.” Then he happily walked off, swooping his hair and stepping right on Nekro’s foot.

To which Nekro nodded, all covered in tears and snot from the worst 2 seconds of his life. Even if he was sure Oscar would be able to kill even without the legality of the situation but well. It appeared that Claire’s did in fact have different rules than anywhere else in the world.

Still, there were no words to describe Nekro’s pain. So I won’t do it.

With all the terrible experiences aside, Nekro strode to the desk, where Oscar seemed to magically teleport again.

“That’d be $420.”

Pulling his pockets, Nekro only noticed a little bug flying off of this. “No! My moth collection!” he cried, as the moth flew further and further away from them. Maybe he wouldn’t have his friend but at least, he was sure there was still money on him. He pulled the wallet and swiftly paid with his Club Card. And yet, there was still something wrong. Giving Oscar a confused look, Nekro asked, “Uh, what about my rose earrings?”

“Oh, these?” Oscar pulled the earrings from the ether. The most beautiful ones Nekro had ever seen. “Yeah, they’re not available to you. We can only give you these.”

Excited to see the product, Nekro’s expression immediately dropped. As Oscar pulled two very ugly and basic earrings that were made from some cheap zircons. Handing him over the dreaded jewelry, Oscar’s hands became more detailed and realistic and the earrings were accompanied by the duck quack sound.

“Ah,” commented Nekro.

“Yeah,” said Oscar. “Anyways, thanks for buying at Claire’s! Be sure to come back! Maybe for real earrings this time! Have a clairtastic day!”

And with his hand suddenly expanding as long as it possibly could, Nekro was out of the store. With his new earrings right at their place too.

Maybe it wasn’t the most fruitful visit at Claire’s Nekro had ever lived through but it was certainly one of his visits. At least the job was done and his ears were pierced. Even though they burnt like hell and Nekro was still wiping off the tears, the job was done. It was time for another part of his espionage.

His dearest, most valuable store, Hot Topic. Of course, Nekro needed to make an entrance, hence he did it in the best way possible. By breaking through the wall with the biggest thud sound.

“Oh yeah!” said Nekro in a voice akin to Kool Aid Man.

Ready to discover the unknown lands of the store, Nekro’s face turned into a grin. The black everywhere, the cheap merch that definitely didn’t pay the bands they were sponsoring, some Disney stuff that wasn’t alternative at all, as well as My Chemical Romance playing in the background. It was the land of opportunity. It was where Nekro truly could find peace of mind.

However before Nekro could discover all the beauty of the commercialized emo merchandise right before his eyes, he was caught in the act. At the cash register this time sat casshier called Cassius. Looking over from his newest volume of Bootlicking Weekly, he immediately knew what to do. Sounding the alarm, he had called the store manager.

“Mr. Whittaker! Mr. Whittaker, we got him!” announced Cass via the whittacom, pointing furiously at Nekro.

Not that Nekro even noticed, he was too busy picking up an emo alternative Hello Kitty t-shirt. Suddenly though, before his eyes was Cassius himself. With the most pissed off expression there possibly was, already shaking him by the arms.

“What are you doing?? Unhand me, asshole!” Nekro called, in a voice shaking through Cass’ motions.

“I should ask you myself! What are you doing here?!” he yelled in return. “Don’t you remember? Haven’t you seen the sign?!”

To which Cass pointed to a wanted poster among all the Divergent movie posters, possibly to match. Which was a face not like Nekro’s but familiar enough. The sign on it said “we’re saying NO to him!”.

Nekro’s eyes shifted, “That’s not me. That’s the guy from Claire’s.”

“Aha! So you’ve admitted that you go to Claire’s!”

“Yeah, I mean but… Wait, no, that’s not me, are you daft?!”

“And now you’re mocking me?” gasped Cass, loudly and with the most offense anyone could have ever hear in their lives. “Be grateful that Mr. Whittaker isn’t here to see it! But he will shortly. You’re going with me!”

“What? What???? Noooooooo!”

There were lots of screams and scratching. At some point Nekro had probably bitten Cass, which only resulted in him getting a cartoonish smash on the head. Still, there was no one else to care. Mr. Whittaker, the manager of Hot Topic, didn’t come for the ruckus. Who the hell even knew where he was at this point.