Tw: mentions of death, cancer, grief, depression under the cut.
The past three years have been the hardest time of my life my life. I lost my grandmother and my mom within three months of each other. Then my life was turned upside down with financial instability and the beginning of the end of my already complicated relationship with my dad. My depression got to an all time high. I isolated myself and fell into a guilt spiral because I felt like I wasn’t where I should have been in life. Then this year my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer. He passed earlier this month. It’s weird dealing with grief and anger because he will never have to face the consequences of how he treated me and tore me down. It feels like the adult who wanted her dad to be there for her while she was struggling—and is angry at the dismissiveness and the cruelty—is warring with the little girl who always saw her dad as her super hero. All of this has obviously made me miss my mom more, because even though she wasn’t perfect she always had some idea of what to do.
I’ve all but stopped drawing, I hope to get back into it, because I don’t want to continue losing myself in grief. It’s just me and my little sister (I say little but we are both adults) now, and we are navigating life without parents. There’s a lot for us to figure out, but we are doing our best. Needless to say, I am ready for 2025 to be over with. Candles are in short supply these days (iykyk), but we are making do. I will keep my head high and keep trucking through even when it’s hard.
This piece was cathartic to make. Little me needed that hug.
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My work for the @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers Exchange 2021! This goes out to @bevvydraws . Prompt was Coffee shop au! - So a coffee shop au where Luka is a singer who occasionally performs at the cafe, and Marinette is the shy barista who keeps forgetting to ask his name.
It was Tuesday, a bright and sunny Tuesday. Usually, just another day of the week except Marinette had been persuaded to swap her shift so one of her co-workers had the day free, which she did not mind at all, for two reasons. The first being that co-worker always covered when she needed it, and extra hours never hurt, but the bigger reason was one tall, blue-eyed and sweet guitarist that played at their little coffee shop on most Tuesdays. Now if she could only manage to talk to him and get his name, that way she could quit calling him ‘blue eyes’ in her head. Maybe she would ask him when he came to get his free cup of coffee, a perk that the manager gave for him bringing in more business.
Looking at the clock showed that the rush hour would be hitting soon, and Marinette checked all the cups, syrups, and other mixing items to make a list of what needed to be restocked before the rush. They never seemed to be successful in preparing for it but anything to make the miserable time easier was always a plus. Moving to the back she grabbed as many items as she could carry until Nino came in through the employee door and helped to break up the load with an empty box he found. Smiling gratefully, Marinette emptied her arms and grabbed a few things she was unable to before. She opened the door for Nino and helped to refill the items, weaving through the other employees as they were making drinks and serving pastries.
“Welcome to The Busy Bean, what can I make fresh for you?” Marinette greeted, finishing a refill of the large cups.
“I’d like a cappuccino with caramel drizzle please.”
“What size for the cappuccino?”
“Medium, I think small goes too quick and the large gets ignored when I’m playing back to back.” Oh, he was early.
“Sure thing!” Marinette squeaked, almost punching in the wrong order but correcting at the last second. She grabbed a medium-sized cup and slid to the side to write on it while her manager comped the drink for the part-time musician. Passing off the cup for someone else to make it, the petite employee moved back to the register. “Next time I recommend a chocolate swirl. it makes it even better.”
“I’ll have to try that next time. Time for me to get to work, thanks Marinette.” The musician smiled softly, just like always, and then made his way to the little stage area they had.
“Still didn’t get his name huh?” Nino teased, knocking Marinette out of her love-struck staring.
“No, and I don’t want to know from you.” The DJ shrugged with a smile and handed off another drink. It had become a thing between the two childhood friends, the mysterious singer was actually Nino’s roommate that he never really talked about by name. It was surprising but humorous and the DJ had fun, too much in the designer’s opinion, teasing her about her crush and not being able to ask him for his name.
“Okay, dudette, but you do realize I’ve been fighting not to say his name anytime we talk, it’s difficult.”
“Free macaroons and I’ll even throw in an eclair a day for Alya.” The raven-haired girl bargained with a sly smile.
“You drive a hard bargain dudette but you got yourself a deal.”
“Welcome to The Busy Bean, what can I get started for you today?” Marinette hip-checked Nino who snorted good-naturedly and moved back to his place in the hot drink line.
The lunch rush came and went, and the stress was eased by the upbeat pop songs the guitarist had been noodling together for the better part of an hour. Marinette had missed her break but was fine as she could take a longer one now that there were only a few people in the coffee shop. Deciding to whip up a similar drink but with sprinkles and roasted marshmallow, she grabbed two medium cups and made her way to the ‘Blue-Eyed Prince’ as Nino teased.
“Hey stranger, thought you could use a pick me up.”
“Well if you’re talking about the coffee then yes, not that I would say no if you were talking about yourself.”
“I uh, what?” Marinette stuttered and froze with her hand outstretched.
“Sorry, Nino has been teasing me about the coffee girls. I take it, you’re not one?I’ll ask for you to make my drinks from now on, it’s hard to play when I’m being flirted with and some girls can’t take no for an answer.” The guitarist sighed, sipping on his drink. Surprise colored his features for a moment, making the coffee worker giggle.
“I put a spin on it, I hope you like it.”
“Sprinkles,” he smiled crookedly and Marinette felt her breath catch, “I like it. Think we can make this my regular drink?”
“When I’m here yeah, I don’t usually work Tuesdays, but now a co-worker owes me and I’ll see you on Fridays to make your signature drink.”
“Cool, I shouldn’t keep you since you get paid to be here and I’m just here to vibe.“
"I had extra time on my break, at least I’m over here and not being harassed by people trying to get their caffeine fix and bugging me when I’m clearly on break at a table. I need to bring a jacket back to work so I can zip it up and not be bothered.”
“Hey I’m here until closer to six, take mine so you don’t get harassed.” He passed over a well loved leather jacket that had a hint of cologne.
“Oh I couldn’t- I mean that’s so nice but I’m so clumsy and I would spill something on it.”
“Nino talked about a friend that works here, she’s a pretty bomb designer and I’ve seen her work on his favorite jacket that she made him and the stains that Chris has put it through. If you make a mess, I have faith she’ll be able to fix it.”
Marinette squeaked as she turned red, and the musician’s knowing look, causing butterflies to run rampant in her stomach. Accepting the jacket, she hid her face and listened to his smooth chuckle.
“Alright I need to play something chill, it seems like the ladies with the short hair cuts like to their chins? They are quite uh-”
“Demanding? Crazy? Rude? A little too Bourgeois?” The shop employee rattled off after removing her face from the leather cover. “Yeah, it’s about that time because the yoga class and spin classes let out.”
“Any requests?”
“I like Jagged Stone but I don’t think they appreciate it. Maybe something mellow?” Marinette mused before Nino waved with a hand signal. “Ah Nino needs help, he’s hopeless with the swirls. Duty calls.”
“When does your shift end?”
“Supposed to be five-fifteen.”
“I’ll play Jagged for you then.”
“Awesome! See ya ‘round Rockstar!” She chirped, nearly skipping her way back to the counter. With a fist bump to Nino, he rattled off the orders that needed swirls, and the designer set to work with the same determination she had when designing for the rest of her shift.
“One caramel macchiato swirl for Rose!”
“Thanks Marinette! Oh hey, I didn’t know Juleka’s brother played here.”
“Wait, brother?”
“No way dudette, you didn’t know my roomie is Juleka’s older brother? And here I thought you knew your blue-eyed prince.”
“Juleka! Oh my gosh that’s so cute! Isn’t it?! Juleka!” Rose squealed, latching onto her girlfriend’s arm and shaking the taller girl a bit.
“That’s my brother, gross.” Came the dry reply.
“I mean if it bothers you I can back off. I don’t even know his name…” Marinette backtracked, not wanting her friend to feel awkward.
“It’s fine, just no details. I haven’t seen him in his birthday suit since we were young and took baths together.”
“Oh my God! Juleka!” For the second time that day Marinette lit up bright red, this time collapsing onto the counter and shielding herself with her arms.
“It’ll be okay dudette, when you remember to ask his name at least.”
“It’s not my fault! We get to talking and he doesn’t seem to mind my crazy runaway brain and lets me figure out my words but, like, not in a rude way. Then I get distracted by his eyes oh my God those should be illegal. And he’s just so nice and funny and talented. By the way, you didn’t tell me you told him about me fixing your hoodie!”
“Hey he’s my roomie and he asked if I got a new one. I told him the truth because you’re awesome.” The DJ shrugged with a grin.
“That’s Luka’s jacket.” Rose gasped, pointing at the leather jacket she was wearing.
“Yeah he let me borrow it, can you give it back to him for me?” Marinette passed over the jacket to Juleka who took it with an odd look on her face but remained silent.
The lack of music drew their attention to the small stage where Luka waved and then started playing a Jagged song, tossing a wink at the ravenette. Marinette flushed again, ignoring the coos from Rose and playful elbow from Nino.
“Huh. he usually hates playing Jagged’s music…”
“Really? I mentioned I liked his music but I wouldn’t have asked if I had known.”
“Go figure.” With that mysterious comment, Juleka shoved the jacket back at Marinette and pushed her towards her brother who finished up the song.
“Hey there Sprinkles.”
“Hey Rockstar, I think this is yours.” Marinette handed over the leather jacket with a shy grin.
“You know out of all the times I’ve played here the last couple of months, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you call me by my name.”
“Well, that uh might be because I don’t know it? And Nino teases me all the time calling you my 'blue-eyed prince because I get distracted by your blue eyes, they should be illegal. And you’re so nice when I’m having a bad day or just a busy day, you always smile and listen to me and don’t make me feel stupid for getting words mixed or rambling like I’m doing right now and oh my God!” She wished a hole would appear so she could sink into it.
“Well your eyes are pretty amazing too, they’ve kept me up on more than one night trying to find the music to describe them.” Her eyes met his, a soft smile present on his face, “And since I was too distracted by the pretty coffee girl to give my name, I guess I should fix that. I’m Luka, nice to finally introduce myself.”
“Hi, Luka.” Marinette smiled, the blush dying down to a pinkish color and not a full red.
“So uh would you like something to eat? I’m sure you’re tired of coffee…” Luka packed up his guitar, taking the jacket and putting it over her shoulders.
“Sure but let’s go somewhere else, the best pastries in all of Paris.”
“Wait, if you’re going where I think you’re going you had better bring me back something! I’ve got another hour left!” Nino shouted, amusing the customer he was supposed to be taking the order of.
“Maman won’t mind another mouth to feed if you just want to come over for dinner. I think it’s dumpling night?”
“Marinette you are my best friend! Sorry bro, you’ll understand when you taste the food.” The DJ joked before focusing back on the order he was punching in.
“Did I just get invited to dinner?”
“Yeah but that’s okay, you’ll have to meet my parents at some point. Juleka and Rose are already like their adopted daughters.”
“Oh! Maman Sabine dumplings?! I’m in!” Rose jumped on her toes excitedly, tugging Juleka along to follow the budding couple.
“I’ll text Maman and let her know we need to break out the other chairs and let Papa know we need another batch of macarons and eclairs.”
I found Bevvydraws through you reblogging her work, and now you and her are two of my favorite content creators 😌💕 So thank you for that! Also I wanted to know what you think of her new AU since I know you also have a lot of them?
@bevvydraws You are well liked.
If you give Mari an umbrella au looks interesting and I do need to look into it more.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
This drawing took so long and is the most detailed drawing I’ve done in a while. The hat was SUCH a challenge so I’m sorry if it looks wonky just don’t look at it for too long lol.
