#berry.text

yesterday i had my art history retake exam and it went pretty well! i must have passed that exam for sure. but sadly, today’s exam (history of spain) didn’t go that well, more like it went horrible gjdfhgjs but it’s okay, i’m okay. tbh i thought i’d be crying if it went wrong? but i just kind of accepted that studying 12 units of the hardest subjects in one week wasn’t going to turn out so well :/

the problem is that the least-important subject (because it’s optative and i don’t have to take it in my university entrance exam) was art history, but i still had to pass and since it’s more difficult to me (or so i thought) and the units were A LOT longer i made the same effort for it as with history of spain. if i passed history of spain but failed art history, the teacher would probably let me pass because he wouldn’t hold me back for this for many diferent reasons that i can’t explain because it’s a very long story of basically my 9 months of this school year.

so yeah, it’s not the same case for history of spain. history of spain is mandatory both in high school AND university entrance exams, so if i fail it, i can’t graduate high school and can’t take university entrance exam, so the teachers aren’t as permissive about letting people who fail their subjects pass and take university entrance exams. after all, if i had failed during high school, i might fail too during university entrance exams so that’d affect my grade a lot (even though i don’t need a high grade for the career i want, but the teachers don’t know what majors each of us are going to study so they take general decissions asuming that even if we need a low grade, we should go for the highest grade possible to not risk failing the general grade of the university entrance exams)

so yea, i just ranted but it was necessary to explain that while i could still graduate and go on if i failed art history only, it’s not the same if i fail only history of spain. so, since it’s 90% sure that i will fail it because i just checked my answers with my notes and it’s just????? a mess???? it’s horrible????????

at least i guess i can relax until i have to start studying during the summer and retake in september. if i pass in september then i’d take the september university entrance exams. the problem is that, if i took them now, the contents of the subjects that i passed would be more recent in my head? so i wouldn’t have to study so intensely and i could be more relaxed. but if i have to wait until september, i’ll have to work those contents much more to make sure i won’t forget anything. and also, most of the places for each major if not all of them are taken after june’s university entrance exams (because there are MANY people taking the exams for so few places in each major)

so yeah, even if i passed my university entrance exams, the problem is i won’t go to college probably until next year (september/october 2019), which would make me start college a year later than everyone and i know there’s nothing wrong with starting one year later and that i did my best but??? it was frustrating. i wanted to graduate now, this year, and start college this year too. i wanted to do well. if i have to wait until next year it’ll feel like i’m kind of a disappointment. of course my close-family won’t think that way of me, but anyone else who doesn’t know much about all this will think i’m just someone who doesn’t work hard enough

and that’s the tea☕ that’s my rant. thank you guys for supporting me tho!! i’m not sad and i’m not even crying (at least i don’t feel like crying right now) and even if it went bad, it’s time for me to relax, i’m super tired and even if i’ll have to study to retake, there’ll also be free time to do things that i wanna do, so it’s okay! i’ll keep doing my best, it might not have worked out this time but it will one day if i keep trying.

at least we should try to hold on that 10% chance of my history of spain teacher talking to ALL my other teachers so he sees that i have REALLY good grades in everything else and he realizes that i’m a good student, always goes to class, doesn’t disrupt the class, is respectful towards teachers & students and that i truly did the best i could do. i always say that people see the result and not your effort, but even though i think it’s true for the most part, i think if he sees not only this bad result but ALL my good results in everything else, he might realize that wtf i’m just shit at history of spain why did my previous generations have to fuck up in the same way again and again and again during centuries????? time to get better little shits your mistakes in polytics and economics and other shits that i can’t understand make me fail, how about y’all work harder instead of me i’m paying for your mistakes by studying them intensely even though i don’t give a f

BIASES

1. THE8 (Xu Minghao) - SEVENTEEN

i don’t think i have to explain. most people know that he’s my ultimate bias (despite my inactivity as a carat), except @bluedelilah wHO APPARENTLY THINKS IT’S JOSHUA even though she was the first one to know that he became my seventeen bias + my ub. i’ve seen him go from a cutie who didn’t even speak korean that well to this disrespectful b who doesn’t want to be cute anymore and wants to be cool and he is indeed really cool. he and other members were quite unpopular compared to other seventeen members but i’m happy to see that now him and the other members are getting a similar amount of popularity and appreciation! i love xu minghao guys, this was a psa by your resident unloyal hoe, berry

2. REN (Choi Minki) - NU’EST

as everyone (or most people) who see nu’est for the first time, i felt love at first sight for ren. i must admit that as i got to know them more and now, i almost can’t choose a bias and i love them all the same amount, but well, minki is special i guess?? i love his personality and attitude so much, and he’s such a positive boy, i hope he never changes and he will find a lot of happiness in his path!

3. TEN - NCT

ten has always caught my eye since the first time i saw him (the 7th sense) but he was someone else’s bias and that person was my friend and was quite dumb getting possesive over her biases sometimes so i never said anything?? anyways it’s not like i liked him mor than the others. i liked nct in general but didn’t choose him as my bias until baby don’t stop was released. i never had an nct bias before that skfjkdsjfk and now i have him as my bias and quite a few bias wreckers rip. i love the way he dances, he’s just so good i could never get tired of watching videos of him dancing and then re-watching them again and again, it’s mesmerizing and he has a lot of charisma, i love how he looks so relaxed while dancing that it makes everything look easy even when it’s super complex? i love it. and i love his voice and his cute smiling face! he’s just amazing :(

4. BAMBAM - GOT7

got7 was one of the first groups i stanned when i got into kpop so i don’t really remember if he was the first one to catch my eye, but i do think he was (and is still) my first got7 bias. i gotta say tho that back in the day jb and yugyeom fought a lot for that position LMAO i don’t know what can i say about bambam. he’s a talented dork, and he’s just too funny. got7 in general is one of the most hilarious groups (if not the most) to me, istg every single time i watch a got7 video i end up laughing so hard my chest hurts. they don’t even try to be funny, they’re just naturally funny and that’s amazing, i love them so much and i love bambam! i can’t believe how much he changed from debut to today

5. WONHO (Shin/Lee Hoseok) - Monsta X

i cAN’T BELIEVE I’M GOING TO SEE HIM LIVE IN ALMOST ONE MONTH (ALONG WITH @bluedelilah) and i’m totally not ready, just thinking about it makes me nervous LOL i know he’s not that similar to the rest of my bias but well??? mY HEART DOESN’T PLAY FAVORITES, IT CAN LOVE DIFFERENT KINDS OF MEN. wonho is a gem. that’s all i gotta say.

6. Cai Xukun - Nine Percent

oNCE AGAIN it was love at first sight LMAO. i had heard about idol producer a few days before they uploaded the Ei Ei performance video to youtube and then i saw it on my recommended videos list and i was like ok guESS I’LL WATCH nOt bEcAuSe i WanT tO BuT BecAusE YT wOn’T sToP ReComMenDinG iT and maybe it was because he was the center but?????? i could only focus on him. like, i knew justin and zhengting (i knew them from pd101s2) were there too but i only noticed them because the xukun wasn’t in the camera sight when they focused only on their faces. if it had shown xukun next to them or in the bg i probably wouldn’t have noticed them LOL i could say many things about xukun, but the thing that i love the most is his charisma. i know all of this idols and the rest have a lot of charisma, but to me, xukun’s is just???? too much, but too good! he’s the most charismatic in my eyes. sometimes i see some predebut (pre-idol producer, superidol and before) videos and see how different he was on-stage back then and i’m like ???? this kid got sO good!! and he can only get better. i’m happy i voted for him from the first day to the last one and he got the center position ♥

7. DIDI (Ling Chao) - Oner

yueyue would have become my bias if only i hadn’t texted my twin wondering why did he have to be much older than me (again, this is when she asks me why does age matter so much LMAO i don’t know) and she just said “stan ling chao, he’s 17″ and i was like hMMM ok then lemme see- so i looked up things about him, started paying more attention to him during ip and eventually fell in love (with him and the rest of oner thanks everyone for wrecking me). his voice? infinite/10. i was like :00000000000000!!!!!!!!!! when i realized he was born in 2001 and even though he’s 17 he’s one year younger than me

*grabs a megaphone* *inhales* i mISS LING CHAO’S PRINCE BROWN HAIR.

8. Noh Taehyun - Hotshot/JBJ

i miss jbj so much :( i did know him before jbj because of pd101 as well but only really noticed him because of sungwoon?? i watched pd101 after it ended so i noticed him thanks to sungwoon being in wanna one and catching my eye. i also listened to hotshot at that time but then again, sungwoon was the one who caught my eye more. i’m glad to have got to know everyone else in hotshot better and i’m reall happy to have been able to stan jbj and be another great joyful in the fandom. i will always miss jbj :( but will still support taehyun and the hotshot members and the rest of the jbj members in their respective paths. as something i love about him, i discovered what krumping was thanks to him, watching some videos sometimes and have seen people do it on some performances but i can say that to me he’s the best at krumping i’ve ever seen! but he can totally do it all, from singing to rapping to dancing to just being the talented lovable man he is :(

9. Park Chanyeol - EXO

if it took me almost a year to find who my nct bias, it took me +1,5 years to find my exo bias (((((: at first i really liked xiumin, and then i couldn’t choose between baekhyun and sehun, but my heart ended up settling for chanyeol LOL i guess this was slightly influenced by twin again skjhfjd but i really love him :(((( i’m not the biggest exo-l, i don’t even know if i consider myself and exo-l, but i love him and i really love exo, hope i can get more time to stan them properly in the summer. pray for me to pass my retake exams + university entrance exams to be able to do it. he’s also too old for me but sHHH WE’LL MAKE IT WORK OK.

10. Ko Hojung - UNB/Hotshot

he’s my bias bc he represents my love for hotshot in unb LMAOO jk i’m not so much into unb yet because i don’t have time to stan properly (same as exo, and same goes for noir. eVERYONE STAN NOIR PLS DO IT RN GO WATCH THEIR DEBUT MV GANGSTA IT’S SO GOOD TALENT OVERFLOWING NOW I’M GONNA STOP TALKING ABOUT NOIR AND TALK ABOUT HOJUNG) but i do like him the most. unb’s line distribution is song is more fair than other groups with less members but yet i wish i could hear hojung more sjfkhjsd he has a peculiar voice to me?? idk but i really like it, and he’s such a visual, mAN

BIAS WRECKERS (this post is getting long man so i’m not gonna write about everyone i’m getting tired and have to study)

1. Joshua Hong - SEVENTEEN

rolling his way into my heart and then looking like here i am bitch u sentimentally cheated on minghao

2. Hwang Minhyun - NU’EST

mh: gonna steal ur b ren: fuck u bitch *bitch slap*

3. Huang Renjun - NCT

i’m not gonna believe this baby is older than fan chengcheng until his mother shows me a birth certificate as a proof

4. JB (Im Jaebum) - GOT7

thank you

5. Fan Chengcheng - Nine Percent (i can’t choose a monsta x bias wrecker even though i wanna. i’m sorry guys ask me this again after the concert)

“look it’s u & i @chengcheng” -@bluedelilah

6. every single oner member thank you i love you oner has my heart and love and wallet

(why u asking my baby such a thing wE DON’T TALK ABOUT SCHOOL OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL IT’S LIKE FORBIDDEN also why would he have a goal rn i don’t even have a goal and i have to take my university entrance exams in like 3 weeks chill give the boy some time)

7. Takada Kenta (and kim sanggyun ;)) ) - JBJ

sanggyun is sO MEAN LMAOOO POOR KENTA LOOK AT HIS FACE HE IS HAVING AN INTERNAL FIGHT WITH HIMSELF “DO I SHOUT MY NAME AND ASK FOR THE BEER OR DO I TRY TO CONVINCE MY BRAIN THAT I DON’T NEED A BEER RN”

8. Marco (Lee Hyunggeun) - UNB (it hurts to accept that i love marco more than i want to realize)

why do i like this thing

9. i don’t have an exo bias dude i chose my bias like a month ago after +1,5 year of thinking, give me one more year to choose a bias wrecker i need time okay

10. haechan who i will have 18 children with (@bluedelilah is invited and forced to come to all the baby showers and give an expensive gift in each one for forcing us to get married)