#so yea

See? They’re fiiiiine! They even got a brand new Totally Normal father figure out of it! :D

The Metros have a separate group chat without Shane in it. He doesn’t know about it until after he comes out. He’s borrowing Hayden’s phone only for him to get a text from the chat calling him a several slurs. He opens the chat then and finds that most of it is just the team talking shit about him.

Hayden never participated and neither did jj but they didn’t intervene either and he also discovers that the chat has existed for almost as long as he’s been a part of the team.

He doesn’t mention it to Hayden or jj. Not to Ilya or his parents not even to rose.

He starts to notice things after that. How no one wants to sit close to him anymore, how the invite to go out never even enters the main chat anymore. How they look at him like he’s dirty or gum on the soles of their shoes.

He tries not to let it bother him, tries to ignore it, but even so he can’t pretend he didn’t see the comments about his hair, his body or his skill. His race. It wasn’t just shit about his sexuality like he’d expected when he opened the chat.

He starts spending more time at the rink, he eats less as well but it’s only because he’s constantly nauseous nothing else. No really he’s fine! He’s just on a stricter diet Ilya you don’t need to worry!! He cuts his hair again even after promising Ilya he wouldn’t.

When Ilya asks him about it Shane just says it was getting in the way while playing and Ilya buys it because despite what Ilya claims he is a good liar and always has been.

He’s always been independent, he’s solved his issues by himself just like he will with this as well. He just needs to get better and maybe then they’ll respect him again.

Then everything will go back to normal. Except it doesn’t.

It doesn’t go back to normal and it doesn’t get better, if anything it gets worse. And Shane is slowly killing himself trying to prove hes good enough to a team that doesn’t want him anymore. A team that wants him out, a team that hates him.

But Shane can’t see it, he can’t see how much they hate him because he loves them, it’s the rose colored glasses that stay firmly in place. Until the video. Until they get outed because then they get violently yanked off. And for the first time Shane can see just how wrong he was.

He wasn’t the issue, never had been and he could see it now, how much muscle he’s lost, how thin he was. How tired he was. It was lucky as well that it happened when it did because Shane didn’t know how much longer he could have gone on like that.

He had a feeling that had he not stopped when he did he wouldn’t have made it to his wedding day. He too would have left Ilya and that breaks his heart more than the realization that he could have died does. Because appart from Ilya, would it really be that bad? It’s not like anyone would miss him that badly.

Shane isn’t saying that he’d do it just that if he happened to die would it really have been so bad? If he died because of hockey he feels like he wouldn’t have minded because he’d have died doing what he loved.

Except

He doesn’t feel like he loves it anymore, he knows he loves hockey but it doesn’t feel fun anymore. And it hasn’t been fun for a long time. Besides the all stars of 2017 he doesn’t remember when stepping on to the ice became more of a chore than his dream.

Hell always love hockey a part of him at least but he hasn’t realized how complicated of a relationship he had with the sport. He didn’t know who he was without it and yet in the last few years hockey rarely brought him the happiness it once did.

Its a map generator and world building/lore crafter based around dice rolls - lots of dice rolls. Like literal handful of dice rolls.

Theoretically, if it were a real tool for writers/gms to help world build a fleshed out kingdom, would there be interest? O.o

The settlements are like little characters with their own stats and personality hehehe

Its gonna be super in depth with randomization mechanics or guides for specific ideas :3