#bellini

On one hand the words of Conclave writer Peter Straughan bounce around in my head like a windows xp saving screen: "Lawrence admits he has harbored that ambition, that he has prepared his name. It's true what Bellini said about him. It's true about all of them -- except for one person, of course."

And on the other hand it's such a tender little moment. Lawrence could just, not say it and retain the moral high ground literally forever. And as always, always, he chooses to step down, and comfort his longtime confident and friend by looking at him, holding his hands and telling him "look. I'm down here in the muck with the rest of you. With you." And also, perhaps even more importantly "you did not read me wrong. You do, know me."

If it has to be bellesco, then Tedesco is the one who should suffer!

sketch of them all smiling for my own therapy purposes

(except tremblay coz i hate him he goes to the simony corner)

Tedesco and his vape are a bane of the other cardinals' existence

Be violently shunned by your peers and lose your shot at the papacy that you were favoured to win in the first ballot

Have your best friend see right through your soul and declare that you don’t have the courage it takes to be pope

Did you really sell your integrity to keep your position? Who are you? Can you still recognise yourself?

Have said friend who, as far as you know, never wanted the papacy, emerge as the only other plausible option against the man you absolutely do not want to become pope

Know that if your friend is elected, he would absolutely give whatever it takes to be fit for the role

That you would lose him if he wins

Maybe you already have

Realise that you at least had some time to grapple with the possibility of winning and what that means and he did not

Realise that as the second most senior member of the conclave, it will be you who has to ask him to accept his fate.

Maybe if you were not yourself, if you were better, or good enough, you could have spared him