#belfer

Inspired by @selfindulgentcompetition (for obvious reasons) and @autismswagsummit (cos my faves are diagnosed ND or "quirky" which is basically the same thing in my mind!)

The rules for who made it in are as such:

They're one of my faves

They help solve a crime (but don't have to be detective rank or even work for the police)

If two characters from the same show are here (I needed to make up the numbers) I have to pick a non-lead character

Polls will go up tomorrow night and will last a week cos I dont have time for updating the battle daily

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Larry 'Doc' Sportello

from: Inherent Vice (film) type: private investigator

Okay, starting strong with this one. Immensely wet, gay vibe medium, disaster levels through the roof. Highest disaster levels on this list, in fact. It's only gonna go uphill from here. 7/10 bonus points for sick sideburns and saying "groovy"

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Special agent Dale Cooper & sheriff Truman

from: Twin Peaks (tv series) type: fbi agent & sheriff

Classic. Not much disaster or wetness in them tbh. Top tier teamwork. Can argue for gay vibes. 7/10

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Paweł Zawadzki & jr inspector Kędzierski

from: Belfer (tv series) type: literature teacher & cbś officer

wet looks. not together on screen very often, but when they are, the homoeroticism is through the roof. 6/10 would be higher if they had more scenes together. bonus points for Kędzierski roasting everyone he lays eyes upon

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Mikael Blomkvist & Lisbeth Salander

from: Millenium trilogy (books) type: journalist & hacker

low on disaster and wetness scale. no gay vibes emanating from Blomkvist, but Lisbeth is revolutionary lgbtq rep, so it's okay. good teamwork, great dualism theme. 7/10

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March & Healy

from: Nice Guys (film) type: private investigator & muscle for hire

great enemies-to-friends, solid teamwork. gayness questionable, they are the type who wouldn't need gay to marry each other. very wet, strong disaster. 8/10

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Commissaire Adamsberg & Commandant Danglard

from: Adamsberg series (books) type: cops

Two dads. Very sweet, your honor I love them. There's drama, but overall they seem competent. 8/10

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HDB & Lieutenant Kitsuragi

from: Disco Elysium (game) type: cops

Most interesting competent-to-disaster ratio I've ever seen, meaning they work surprisingly well, considering what they're working with. Close proximity to sea and booze ensures high wetness in HDB. Kitsuragi gay in canon. 9/10 bonus points for sick sideburns and saying "disco"

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Jayjay Falcon & Sparrowson Sparrowson

from: Aviary Attorney (visual novel) type: lawyers

19th century French furry lawyers who are also broke. Do I even need to say more? 10/10 Bonus points for Sparrowson eating a piece of evidence and Falcon's literal wetness (he falls into a river). Double bonus points for being able to save your rival and then together you take down king Louis Philippe

DI Alex Drake (UK - Ashes to Ashes)

If I got shot and transported back to 1981 I would simply curl up in a ball. Alex Drake meanwhile, not only puts up with Gross Man TM, but teaches them all to be better people in the process. Mentor to Shaz (who is also part of this poll, if they have to fight I'll cry) Cares where others don't, awesome hair, and all that too

Pawel Zawadzki (Poland - Belfer / The Teacher)